Destined Jokes
9 destined jokes and hilarious destined puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about destined that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Laughable Destined Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What is a good destined joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you".
The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
My gay friend got s**... today.
I told him Saudi Arabia was not a good honeymoon destination but he didn't listen.
Three drunks enter a taxi
the driver immediately notices that they were drunk, and decided to make a quick buck out of them.
When they entered the car, he drove 100 meters, made a turn and told them that they arrived at their destination.
The first one thanks the driver and leaves. The second thanks him, give him money and then leaves. The third realizes that something was wrong and slaps the driver as hard as he could.
The driver looks at him and asks: "the h**... is wrong with you?!", to which the drunk guy replies: "don't you ever drive that fast again!"
i came up with this one and i think its a little silly. what do you call it when a missile fails to reach it's destination?
projectile dysfunction
A cyclops and his wife looking for their prefect holiday destination
Cyclobs: How do you spell Hawaii?
Wife: Well... You need two i's...
Cyclobs (putting the pen down): My life is just a joke to you isn't it, Linda?
Drunk taxi.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The
taxi driver knew that they were
drunk so he started the engine
& turned it off again. Then
said,"We have reached your
destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said
"Thank you". The 3rd guy
slapped the driver. The driver
was shocked thinking the 3rd
drunk knew what he did. But
then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied,
"Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us
National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu
For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!
This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"
The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.
Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"
Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"
The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"
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