Dessert Jokes
137 dessert jokes and hilarious dessert puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about dessert that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Delight your sweet tooth with funny dessert jokes that will make you want to savor something sweet! From rude mesquite to flirty sorbet, these dessert jokes are sure to add some sugar to your day and make your appetizer more enjoyable.
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Funniest Dessert Short Jokes
Short dessert jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dessert humour may include short desert jokes also.
- I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream. I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
- What do you get if you eat 3.14 desserts? You probably get Fat.
What? were you expecting a pi joke?
Not on my cake day! - What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend? One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.
- A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.
- There's a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief That one really takes the cake
- So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, "I think not," then immediately disappears.
- Here are two steps to take if you are ever stuck on a desserted island. Step 1: Check spelling.
Step 2: If correct, enjoy. - Why's it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner? Because you won't have mushroom left for dessert.
- It's my cakeday, so figured I'd tell this joke (game grumps told this joke) What is a Jedi's Favourite Italian dessert...
OBI WAN CANOLI - It turns out that Bill Cosby was actually drugging his dates' desserts, not their drinks. The proof is in the pudding.
Share These Dessert Jokes With Friends
Dessert One Liners
Which dessert one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dessert? I can suggest the ones about pastry and appetizer.
- Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day. Feeling desserted.
- It's my cake day and no one cares I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted
- What kind of dessert makes women gain the most weight? Wedding Cake.
- What does a Jedi on a budget eat for dessert? Only one Cannoli
- A man is stranded on a dessert island and it was delicious.
- What's a snowman's favorite winter solstice dessert? "Frost"-ed cupcakes!
- Donald Trump's menu from Walter Reed has been leaked He's eating just desserts
- Reddit, no matter how much I love cake... ...I would never dessert you.
- What do Women's Studies majors like after dessert? A tip
- What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert? SYNONYM ROLLS!
- What does a time traveler do when he wanted more dessert? He goes back for seconds
- I cant think of anything to post for my cakeday I guess just i'll dessert it
- What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes? Desserted
- What dessert best describes your girlfriend after a workout? Sorbet
- Butter get some upvotes on cake day.. Or I'll feel desserted!
Dessert Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny dessert day jokes and even better dessert day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My Spanish wife always warned me about driving with her desserts between the front seats, but I never listened Then one day the shift hit the flan
- As I sit here eating my pi day pie, I'm looking forward to also celebrating Tau day. Then my desserts will have come full circle.
- My favourite part of the bible Was when Jesus went out into the dessert for 40 days and 40 nights by himself... but there was someone there to write about it
Dessert Food Jokes
Here is a list of funny dessert food jokes and even better dessert food puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Refusing dessert after eating Chinese food... Will cost you a fortune.
- What kind of food do you serve at a karma party? Just desserts.
- I hear the food in prison is amazing... It's just desserts
Rude Dessert Jokes
Here is a list of funny rude dessert jokes and even better rude dessert puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was so rude to a waiter that he refused to serve me until the final course... I suppose that's just desserts.
Hilarious Fun Dessert Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about dessert you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pudding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dessert pranks.
My dad works on Nukes and told me this today
What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?
Yellow Cake
Penguin
One day a penguin decides to go to a party. He dresses in his usual tuxedo, and then drives over to the mansion. He eats his dinner and then it was time for dessert. Ice cream, the penguin's favorite! The penguin laps up the ice cream getting it all over his beak and face feathers. On his drive home his car breaks down and he calls for a tow. After the mechanic inspects the car he proceeds to tell the penguin "You blew a seal". To which the penguin replies "No, it's ice cream"
Chris Christie's Favorite New Dessert???
Impeach Cobbler
No matter how much I love cake..
I would never dessert you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Need a dessert s**... joke to say to my girlfriend and I feel like id miss a hugely funny opportunity if I didnt nailed this joke.
Your help will make 2 people's lives very funny for a moment and what could be better than that? Its your civic duty to help out. And i promise she wont be made uncomfortable we are currently in the middle of a dirty exchange so I would definitely know by now naw meen?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's o**... Bin Laden's favourite dessert?
Big Apple crumble.
What's a divorce attorney's favorite dessert?
Wedding cake
What is a white supremacist's favorite dessert?
Cake Cake Cake
What is a Japanese girl's favourite dessert
Senpai
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a single mother's favorite dessert?
c**...
What's an otakus favourite dessert?
Senpie.
What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?
Propheteroles
how did the Imam order his dessert?
Allah mode
Whats a terrorists favorite dessert
flavored ices
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A couple of camels are walking in the dessert...
And I was like: hey get out of my ice cream cake, you camels.
What's Mr T's favourite dessert?
Petit Filous
(Credit goes to my ex wife for this one).
What's Bill Gates's favorite dessert
apple turnover
A man goes to a party
and goes towards the waiter at the front desk.
"What's to do around here?" asked the man.
"Well we have the Dinner Line," replied the waiter. "and we also have the Dessert Line.
"
The man looks around the room, confused, so he asks the waiter,
"Where's the Punch Line?"
"It's gone."
What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?
Joint custardy
Does anyone know where to find about 454 graham crackers?
I'm making a pound cake for dessert
I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me...
please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes.
She replied..."I won't dessert you."
A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night.
It was an under covers pie.
What's a cobbler's favorite dessert?
Tear in me shoe.
Planck's constant walks into a bar...
Planck's constant walks into a bar and orders dessert.
The bartender is a little surprised by this, but happens to have a couple desserts on hand.
"I can't decide," says Planck's constant. "Whenever I walk into a bar I feel divided by two pies."
What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey?
A Meringueutan
What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?
an Easter Sundae
I noticed this morning that, due to the vibrations of the bus, the pieces of dessert that I was carrying were moving randomly within their container.
I believe this is an excellent example of brownie in motion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a b**... couple's favorite dessert?
Whipped cream pie.
What does a camel do on a pudding?
Walks through the dessert
I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled...
"You will have a weak dessert"
whats a ghosts favorite dessert?
I-scream
What's a stoners favorite dessert?
Baked goods
I was talking to Mr. T.
"I wanted to make you a dessert," I told him. "But I've given up hope."
He said, "Try fool!"
I said, "No, chocolate mousse, actually."
What's the ISIS favourite dessert?
TERRORmisu
To abandon an ice cream sundae in Death Valley is to
Desert your dessert in a desert.
What is a stationary set's favourite dessert?
Sticky tape pudding
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a g**... dessert?
Ajit Pai
Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
Because it was already stuffed, guys!
What do robots eat for dessert on thanksgiving?
Raspberry pi.
Did anyone else get charged for their dessert at Thanksgiving??
It's my fault really. I shouldn't have had a slice of the Ajit Pai.
What did Ajit Pai have for dessert on Thanksgiving?
Ashit Pie.
What's Darth Vader's favorite dessert?
*coooooo*
*kieeeee*
What's the difference between an Italian dessert cheese and a small pony who loves makeup?
Ones a mascarpone, ones a mascara pony
What's a dogs favourite dessert?
Pavlova.
I walked into a muslim dessert place
...they served a pretty good Apple pie A-llah-mode.
What was Prince's favorite dessert?
Raspberry Sorbet
I wrote this joke
Veterans day Bowe Bergdahl walks into an Applebees in his uniform.
Eats a hearty dinner, and is satisfied with it. Afterwards, the waitress comes over and asks. "Dessert sir?"
Bergdahl replies: "Already did"
What was Romeo and Juliet's just dessert?
Cantaloupe.
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He'll dessert you!
Jesus is preparing for the Last Supper...
Jesus: Judas, I need you to go to each and every one of my disciples and tell them to meet me here for supper. Also, stop by the market and get some fish, vegetables, and a dessert. When you've come back and are done cooking, set up the table and our best plates.
Later that evening, while everyone is enjoying their food, Jesus begains in a somber tone, "One of you will betray me -
Judas: "Why do I have to do everything around here?!"
What is the internet's favorite dessert?
Kek
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a s**... addict's favorite dessert?
Pound cake
Where is bad dessert taken?
Into custard-y!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is murdered in a dessert factory.
The defendant is clearly guilty, but the investigators struggle to find the m**... weapon to properly incriminate him. Where could it possibly have been hidden? The lead investigator is at a loss, when one day he suddenly jumps from his desk as it comes to him.
The proof is in the pudding!
I like my desserts like I like my women:
without nuts.
What type of ape smells like French dessert?
Meringueutan
Take only one
A boy was at a church dinner. They approached the fruit table. A nun, who was refilling the apple tray, instructed them, "We need to feed many people, so be nice and take only one. Remember, God is watching." He took one apple and moved along.
When he got to the dessert table, he took as many cookies as he could put on his plate. When a nun asked why he was doing that, he said, "Don't worry, God is busy watching the apples."
Whats a business owners favorite dessert ?
A Profiterole
What is Mario's favorite dessert?
Peach pie.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Watched a cooking show the other day and the dessert they served was quite unsettling. It consisted of a female p**... that had been hung, drawn and quartered...
They called it a Deconstructed Tart.
Would you like to try our new Banana Split dessert?
It has a lot of a-peel.
(I tell this one at work all the time 😝)
What kind of dessert always comes back when you throw it away?
A boomeringue.
I tried making dessert, but I only had sour milk.
It was quite off pudding.
Why didn't the Clemson football team get to have dessert?
Ice cream machine was broken.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a Hawaiian s**... act, and coincidentally, my favorite dessert?
Coconut cream pie
Did you hear about the serial killer that got killed in a standoff with the police in an ice cream shop?
He got what he dessert.
I hate when people start their statement with well for starters
and then never talk about the main course or the dessert.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last night in Jail they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be g**... but they were actually pretty good.
Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having the worst possible day. To cap it off my baker s**... up the topping of my birthday dessert!
It was the icing on the cake.
My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.
Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.
What is a satyrs favorite dessert?
Pan-an Cotta
