Hilarious Fun Dessert Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
My dad works on Nukes and told me this today
What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?
Yellow Cake
A man is stranded on a dessert island
and it was delicious.
A young couple adopt a German baby.
A young couple adopt a German baby. He was perfectly normal except for the fact he never spoke, not even a word.
One day aged five while the family were having dessert he suddenly says, "This strudel is tepid."
His parents are completely amazed. "Hans you can talk! Why haven't you spoken before now?"
The boy turned to the parents and slowly replies, "Until now, everything has been satisfactory."
No matter how much I love cake..
I would never dessert you.
So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner...
After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, "I think not," then immediately disappears.
What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert?
SYNONYM ROLLS!
What's o**... Bin Laden's favourite dessert?
Big Apple Crumble.
What's a divorce attorney's favorite dessert?
Wedding cake
What is a white supremacist's favorite dessert?
Cake Cake Cake
What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?
Propheteroles
how did the Imam order his dessert?
Allah mode
You can explore dessert appetizer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dessert meal dad jokes. There are also dessert puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant?
Only one cannoli.
Whats a terrorists favorite dessert
flavored ices
A couple of camels are walking in the dessert...
And I was like: hey get out of my ice cream cake, you camels.
What's Bill Gates's favorite dessert
apple turnover
A man goes to a party
and goes towards the waiter at the front desk.
"What's to do around here?" asked the man.
"Well we have the Dinner Line," replied the waiter. "and we also have the Dessert Line.
"
The man looks around the room, confused, so he asks the waiter,
"Where's the Punch Line?"
"It's gone."
I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me...
please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes.
She replied..."I won't dessert you."
Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island.
1) Check spelling.
2) If correct, enjoy.
A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night.
It was an under covers pie.
What's a cobbler's favorite dessert?
Tear in me shoe.
Planck's constant walks into a bar...
Planck's constant walks into a bar and orders dessert.
The bartender is a little surprised by this, but happens to have a couple desserts on hand.
"I can't decide," says Planck's constant. "Whenever I walk into a bar I feel divided by two pies."
What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey?
A Meringueutan
What kind of dessert makes women gain the most weight?
Wedding Cake.
What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?
an Easter Sundae
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert...
Lady fingers
What is a b**... couple's favorite dessert?
Whipped cream pie.
What do Women's Studies majors like after dessert?
A tip
What does a camel do on a pudding?
Walks through the dessert
I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled...
"You will have a weak dessert"
What's a stoners favorite dessert?
Baked goods
Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?
Because it was already stuffed, guys!
What's Darth Vader's favorite dessert?
*coooooo*
*kieeeee*
What's a dogs favourite dessert?
Pavlova.
I walked into a muslim dessert place
...they served a pretty good Apple pie A-llah-mode.
I wrote this joke
Veterans day Bowe Bergdahl walks into an Applebees in his uniform.
Eats a hearty dinner, and is satisfied with it. Afterwards, the waitress comes over and asks. "Dessert sir?"
Bergdahl replies: "Already did"
What was Romeo and Juliet's just dessert?
Cantaloupe.
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He'll dessert you!
Jesus is preparing for the Last Supper...
Jesus: Judas, I need you to go to each and every one of my disciples and tell them to meet me here for supper. Also, stop by the market and get some fish, vegetables, and a dessert. When you've come back and are done cooking, set up the table and our best plates.
Later that evening, while everyone is enjoying their food, Jesus begains in a somber tone, "One of you will betray me -
Judas: "Why do I have to do everything around here?!"
What dessert best describes your girlfriend after a workout?
Sorbet
What is a s**... addict's favorite dessert?
Pound cake
What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?
One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.
Where is bad dessert taken?
Into custard-y!
Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert?
Because they're always stuffed.
I wasn't allowed to eat dessert tonight til after I masterbated...
Because how can you have any pudding if you don't beat your meat?
Take only one
A boy was at a church dinner. They approached the fruit table. A nun, who was refilling the apple tray, instructed them, "We need to feed many people, so be nice and take only one. Remember, God is watching." He took one apple and moved along.
When he got to the dessert table, he took as many cookies as he could put on his plate. When a nun asked why he was doing that, he said, "Don't worry, God is busy watching the apples."
Whats a business owners favorite dessert ?
A Profiterole
What does a Jedi on a budget eat for dessert?
Only one Cannoli
What kind of dessert always comes back when you throw it away?
A boomeringue.
I tried making dessert, but I only had sour milk.
It was quite off pudding.
Did you hear about the serial killer that got killed in a standoff with the police in an ice cream shop?
He got what he dessert.
I hate when people start their statement with well for starters
and then never talk about the main course or the dessert.
Last night in Jail they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be g**... but they were actually pretty good.
Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected.
It's my cakeday, so figured I'd tell this joke (game grumps told this joke)
What is a Jedi's Favourite Italian dessert...
OBI WAN CANOLI
I was having the worst possible day. To cap it off my baker s**... up the topping of my birthday dessert!
It was the icing on the cake.
I cant think of anything to post for my cakeday
I guess just i'll dessert it
My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.
Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.
What's a monkeys favourite dessert?
Lemon Morangutan Pie.
I'm sorry.
I had a pig for dinner
We shared the dessert.
What does a polygamist family have for dessert every week?
Birthday Cake
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Certainly," he replied.
I said, "Why did you just e**... food?"
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
I said, "Why did you just e**... food ?"
What's the most racist dessert?
Cake cake cake!
Donald and Melania Trump walk into a restaurant
They sit at a table and peruse the menu, and the waiter comes over.
Good afternoon, can I take your order please?
Can I have the chocolate fudge dessert, and Melania will have the sorbet
Just desserts Mr President?
Yes, Just Desserts
Waiter! Why does my dessert have a shoe print in it?
Sir, you did say "Apple pie and step on it!"
Reddit, no matter how much I love cake...
...I would never dessert you.
What's the most popular holiday dessert in Alabama?
Pump-kin pie.
What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?
Plumb Jamb
Why's it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner?
Because you won't have mushroom left for dessert.
Told to me by a six year old.
Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow
Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.
In honor of Trump's last night as president, tonight I'll be making...
Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.
I went online looking for some new recipies for dessert.
I clicked on accept cookies, but I'm still waiting for them to show up.
Why can't you hide from an Italian dessert?
You cannoli run.
In the buffet of life, friends are like dessert
You eat them last and they taste the best
Dessert??
My wife made dessert with expired milk.
It was really off pudding.
I'm getting sick of people misspelling their homynyms
We should round them up and leave them in a dessert
what's a nerds favourite dessert?
Raspberry pi
There's a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief
That one really takes the cake
Refusing dessert after eating Chinese food...
Will cost you a fortune.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?
**He was stuffed.**
What does a time traveler do when he wanted more dessert?
He goes back for seconds
What did the cat have for dessert?
A chocolate mousse
I've decided to start up my own restaurant. Main dish is curry poured over french fries.
It's called "Curry on my Wayward Spud". And for dessert? There'll be peas when you are done.
Two Elderly Couples are Having Dinner…
Man #1: We had dinner last week at this amazing restaurant. Four courses and a dessert that was heaven
Man #2: Sounds nice. What was the name of it?
Man #1: Oh jeez, my mind isn't as good as it was, I'm drawing a blank. What's the name of that flower with the thorns on it?
Man #2: You mean a rose?
Man #1: That's it! Hey! Rose! Where did we eat last week?
What's the name of that dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream?
Affogato.
No worries, I'll just google it.
I can't think of a single good thing to post on my cake day.
I guess I'll just have to dessert my karma farming plans.
What is a car's favorite dessert?
Petroleum Jelly.
I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream.
I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
[OC]What do death eaters eat for dessert ?
Cornelius Fudge
Two cowboys are lost in the dessert,
They haven't eaten in days and are close to death. Suddenly one see a tree covered in bacon. 'We're saved' he cry's 'a bacon tree.' and he runs towards it. He is shot to death.
It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.
I'm opening a new chimney sweep, soldering supplies, and dessert business.
It's called Flue, Flux, Flan.
I made a traditional German dessert for this years' Christmas dinner.
Unfortunately, it was stollen.
The President of France has published a recipe for a new dessert with coconut and pasta
It's Macron's macaroon macaroni macaron.
Anniversary
On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner.
Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned.
After they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!
I suppose, the husband responded, we could vacuum.
