Dessert Jokes

148 dessert jokes and hilarious dessert puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about dessert that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Delight your sweet tooth with funny dessert jokes that will make you want to savor something sweet! From rude mesquite to flirty sorbet, these dessert jokes are sure to add some sugar to your day and make your appetizer more enjoyable.

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Funniest Dessert Short Jokes

Short dessert jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dessert humour may include short desert jokes also.

  1. I can't remember the name of that Italian dessert where you pour espresso over ice cream. I asked my Italian friend, but he couldn't remember either.
  2. What do you get if you eat 3.14 desserts? You probably get Fat.
    What? were you expecting a pi joke?
    Not on my cake day!
  3. What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend? One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.
  4. A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.
  5. There's a lot of bad jokes. Especially the one about the dessert thief That one really takes the cake
  6. Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day. I feel desserted
    Shoutout to u/sse2k for letting me repost this joke.
  7. Reddit, no matter how much I love cake... ...I would never dessert you.
  8. So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, "I think not," then immediately disappears.
  9. What do Women's Studies majors like after dessert? A tip
  10. Here are two steps to take if you are ever stuck on a desserted island. Step 1: Check spelling.
    Step 2: If correct, enjoy.

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Dessert One Liners

Which dessert one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dessert? I can suggest the ones about pastry and appetizer.

  1. Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day. Feeling desserted.
  2. Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday I feel desserted
  3. nobody seems to upvote a cake joke on cakeday anymore Feeling desserted
  4. What happens when you don't get any upvotes on your cake day.... You feel desserted.
  5. Nobody upvotes a cake joke on cake days anymore Feeling desserted
  6. It's my cake day and no one cares I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted
  7. Nobody upvotes cake day jokes anymore I feel like I've been desserted
  8. What kind of dessert makes women gain the most weight? Wedding Cake.
  9. What does a Jedi on a budget eat for dessert? Only one Cannoli
  10. Sigh, nobody will upvote a cake joke on my birthday I feel so desserted.
  11. A man is stranded on a dessert island and it was delicious.
  12. People never like my cake day jokes I feel desserted
  13. What's a snowman's favorite winter solstice dessert? "Frost"-ed cupcakes!
  14. How much dessert does a dieting Jedi eat at an Italian restaurant? Only one cannoli.
  15. Donald Trump's menu from Walter Reed has been leaked He's eating just desserts

Dessert Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny dessert day jokes and even better dessert day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Nobody cares that today is my cake day... I feel desserted...
  • Butter get some upvotes on cake day.. Or I'll feel desserted!
  • No one told me happy cake day... I feel desserted.
  • I can't think of a single good thing to post on my cake day. I guess I'll just have to dessert my karma farming plans.
  • My Spanish wife always warned me about driving with her desserts between the front seats, but I never listened Then one day the shift hit the flan
  • Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday I feel desserted.
    Happy cake day to me :)
  • As I sit here eating my pi day pie, I'm looking forward to also celebrating Tau day. Then my desserts will have come full circle.
  • My favourite part of the bible Was when Jesus went out into the dessert for 40 days and 40 nights by himself... but there was someone there to write about it
  • I was having the worst possible day. To cap it off my baker s**... up the topping of my birthday dessert! It was the icing on the cake.
  • The other day my dessert looked like it was u**... me with it's eyes... It was a total crêpe.

Dessert Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny dessert food jokes and even better dessert food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Refusing dessert after eating Chinese food... Will cost you a fortune.
  • What kind of food do you serve at a karma party? Just desserts.
  • I just had dessert after my Chinese food, but there was no paper in my cookie. That's unfortunate.
  • Waiter: "Do you want any dessert?"
    Teddy Bear: "No Thanks. I'm Stuffed!"
  • I hear the food in prison is amazing... It's just desserts
  • After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu. "Can I ask you something?" I said.

    "Certainly," he replied.

    I said, "Why did you just e**... food?"
  • After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu. I said, "Why did you just e**... food ?"
Dessert joke, After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

Rude Dessert Jokes

Here is a list of funny rude dessert jokes and even better rude dessert puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was so rude to a waiter that he refused to serve me until the final course... I suppose that's just desserts.
Dessert joke, I was so rude to a waiter that he refused to serve me until the final course...

Hilarious Fun Dessert Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about dessert you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pudding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dessert pranks.

My dad works on Nukes and told me this today

What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?
Yellow Cake

A young couple adopt a German baby.

A young couple adopt a German baby. He was perfectly normal except for the fact he never spoke, not even a word.
One day aged five while the family were having dessert he suddenly says, "This strudel is tepid."
His parents are completely amazed. "Hans you can talk! Why haven't you spoken before now?"
The boy turned to the parents and slowly replies, "Until now, everything has been satisfactory."


One day a penguin decides to go to a party. He dresses in his usual tuxedo, and then drives over to the mansion. He eats his dinner and then it was time for dessert. Ice cream, the penguin's favorite! The penguin laps up the ice cream getting it all over his beak and face feathers. On his drive home his car breaks down and he calls for a tow. After the mechanic inspects the car he proceeds to tell the penguin "You blew a seal". To which the penguin replies "No, it's ice cream"

Chris Christie's Favorite New Dessert???

Impeach Cobbler

No matter how much I love cake..

I would never dessert you.

What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert?


What is the ghost of an Australians favourite dessert?


What's o**... Bin Laden's favourite dessert?

Big Apple crumble.

What's a divorce attorney's favorite dessert?

Wedding cake

What is a white supremacist's favorite dessert?

Cake Cake Cake

What is a Japanese girl's favourite dessert


What's a single mother's favorite dessert?


What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?


how did the Imam order his dessert?

Allah mode

Whats a terrorists favorite dessert

flavored ices

A couple of camels are walking in the dessert...

And I was like: hey get out of my ice cream cake, you camels.

What's Mr T's favourite dessert?

Petit Filous
(Credit goes to my ex wife for this one).

What's Bill Gates's favorite dessert

apple turnover

A man goes to a party

and goes towards the waiter at the front desk.
"What's to do around here?" asked the man.
"Well we have the Dinner Line," replied the waiter. "and we also have the Dessert Line.
The man looks around the room, confused, so he asks the waiter,
"Where's the Punch Line?"
"It's gone."

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

Does anyone know where to find about 454 graham crackers?

I'm making a pound cake for dessert

I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me...

please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes.
She replied..."I won't dessert you."

Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island.

1) Check spelling.
2) If correct, enjoy.

A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night.

It was an under covers pie.

What's a cobbler's favorite dessert?

Tear in me shoe.

Planck's constant walks into a bar...

Planck's constant walks into a bar and orders dessert.
The bartender is a little surprised by this, but happens to have a couple desserts on hand.
"I can't decide," says Planck's constant. "Whenever I walk into a bar I feel divided by two pies."

What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey?

A Meringueutan

What did Jesus eat for dessert after the Last Supper?

an Easter Sundae

I noticed this morning that, due to the vibrations of the bus, the pieces of dessert that I was carrying were moving randomly within their container.

I believe this is an excellent example of brownie in motion.

What's a cannibal's favorite dessert...

Lady fingers

What is a b**... couple's favorite dessert?

Whipped cream pie.

What does a camel do on a pudding?

Walks through the dessert

I once received a fortune cookie of which the fortune was immediately fulfilled...

"You will have a weak dessert"

What's a stoners favorite dessert?

Baked goods

What's the ISIS favourite dessert?


To abandon an ice cream sundae in Death Valley is to

Desert your dessert in a desert.

Why didn't the turkey eat dessert?

Because it was already stuffed, guys!

What do robots eat for dessert on thanksgiving?

Raspberry pi.

What did Ajit Pai have for dessert on Thanksgiving?

Ashit Pie.

What's Darth Vader's favorite dessert?


What's a dogs favourite dessert?


I walked into a muslim dessert place

...they served a pretty good Apple pie A-llah-mode.

I wrote this joke

Veterans day Bowe Bergdahl walks into an Applebees in his uniform.
Eats a hearty dinner, and is satisfied with it. Afterwards, the waitress comes over and asks. "Dessert sir?"
Bergdahl replies: "Already did"

What was Romeo and Juliet's just dessert?


Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

He'll dessert you!

Jesus is preparing for the Last Supper...

Jesus: Judas, I need you to go to each and every one of my disciples and tell them to meet me here for supper. Also, stop by the market and get some fish, vegetables, and a dessert. When you've come back and are done cooking, set up the table and our best plates.
Later that evening, while everyone is enjoying their food, Jesus begains in a somber tone, "One of you will betray me -
Judas: "Why do I have to do everything around here?!"

What dessert best describes your girlfriend after a workout?


What is the internet's favorite dessert?


What is a s**... addict's favorite dessert?

Pound cake

Where is bad dessert taken?

Into custard-y!

Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert?

Because they're always stuffed.

A man is murdered in a dessert factory.

The defendant is clearly guilty, but the investigators struggle to find the m**... weapon to properly incriminate him. Where could it possibly have been hidden? The lead investigator is at a loss, when one day he suddenly jumps from his desk as it comes to him.
The proof is in the pudding!

I wasn't allowed to eat dessert tonight til after I masterbated...

Because how can you have any pudding if you don't beat your meat?

I like my desserts like I like my women:

without nuts.

Take only one

A boy was at a church dinner. They approached the fruit table. A nun, who was refilling the apple tray, instructed them, "We need to feed many people, so be nice and take only one. Remember, God is watching." He took one apple and moved along.
When he got to the dessert table, he took as many cookies as he could put on his plate. When a nun asked why he was doing that, he said, "Don't worry, God is busy watching the apples."

Whats a business owners favorite dessert ?

A Profiterole

What is Mario's favorite dessert?

Peach pie.

Watched a cooking show the other day and the dessert they served was quite unsettling. It consisted of a female p**... that had been hung, drawn and quartered...

They called it a Deconstructed Tart.

What kind of dessert always comes back when you throw it away?

A boomeringue.

I tried making dessert, but I only had sour milk.

It was quite off pudding.

What is a Hawaiian s**... act, and coincidentally, my favorite dessert?

Coconut cream pie

Did you hear about the serial killer that got killed in a standoff with the police in an ice cream shop?

He got what he dessert.

I hate when people start their statement with well for starters

and then never talk about the main course or the dessert.

Last night in Jail they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be g**... but they were actually pretty good.

Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected.

It's my cakeday, so figured I'd tell this joke (game grumps told this joke)

What is a Jedi's Favourite Italian dessert...

I cant think of anything to post for my cakeday

I guess just i'll dessert it

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

What's a monkeys favourite dessert?

Lemon Morangutan Pie.
I'm sorry.

I had a pig for dinner

We shared the dessert.

What does a polygamist family have for dessert every week?

Birthday Cake

what did the robot order at the take away place?

computer chips with a dessert of raspberry pi

What's the most racist dessert?

Cake cake cake!

Dessert joke, What's the most racist dessert?

jokes about dessert