The Best 17 Desperat Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Desperat jokes. There are some desperat hear jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these desperat desperation puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Desperat Jokes and Puns
I desperately needed a massive shit on the train today but the toilet was out of order.
So, I just held it for 20 minutes.
The woman opposite me stared at me in disgust and said, "is that shit in your hand?"
Desperate Need of Good Jokes
Basically I've had the shittiest day/month and I could really do with some cheering up.
Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))
I desperately needed to pass gas!
and I was in the restaurant .......... when I suddenly realized The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Desperate for money, I robbed a bank today. My heart sank when I heard a voice boom, "This is the police! We have all the exits surrounded, so come out with your hands up!"
I escaped through the entrance...
In desperation I've been trying to meet girls through my Ouija Board
But they keep ghosting me
I was so desperate to fix a problem...
That I looked on the second page of Google to find the answer.
I was desperate for a piss at the pool....
I was at the swimming pool last week, and you know when you're absolutely bursting for a piss but the toilets are way over there?
I thought: "weeelllll..... everyone else does it..."
So I decided just to let one slip out in the pool.
The lifeguard must have spotted me though. He shouted at me so loud I nearly fell off the diving board.
Desperately trying to recall this joke
Many eons ago Billy Crystal told a joke on Letterman involving an old Jewish guy arguing with a younger guy. They go back and forth until finally the young guy says something that proves the old guy's point and the old guy says, "Ah-haaah!" in a Yiddish voice.
Anybody remember that joke? It's been driving me nuts for years.
Out of desperation, I robbed a bank dressed as a frog and being a novice, the cops caught me right away. I thought I was going away to the big house for a very long time, but surprisingly, the judge was lenient and let me go...
...because it was the first time I had ever Kermitted a crime.
I was desperate for a job, so my friend offered me one as a test subject in a wind tunnel
But i wasnt a fan
What did the the desperate gay rooster say?
Any-cock'll do!
You can explore desperat anus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean desperat sex dad jokes. There are also desperat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's something not even the most desperate thief would steal?
My virginity.
I'm desperately trying to find someone who can fix my headboard…
I'm banging my head against the wall…
What is a desperate strawberry?
A berry on its last straw...
I'm desperately trying to stop sleeping with a lying, drug taking, foul-mouthed nun.
I'm finding it hard to quit the bad habit.
The mouse wife shouts to his husband: "John, I already told you you need to stop eating so much Emmentaler!"
The husband replies: "please, Helen, leave me alone. I'm already desperat enough".
I was desperate, I *needed* a recipe for Indian bread!
But I found naan...
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the desperat love jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working desperat naan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.