The Best 20 Despair Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Despair jokes. There are some despair chaos jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these despair interact puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Despair Jokes and Puns

When my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant I started crying in despair

It is because I know so well what is it like to grow without a father ...

A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach...

...of an island and is surrounded by a group of warriors.
I'm done for, the man cries in despair.
No, you are not, comes a booming voice from the heavens. Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab a spear and push it through the heart of the warrior chief.
The man does what he is told, turns to the heavens, and asks, Now, what?
The booming voice replies, Now you are done for.

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'.

We're leaving that country in a state of poverty and despair, where half the population can't read and daily life is blighted by the ever-present threat of needless violence.

Yes, we've brought the British way of life to them all right.

Despair joke, David Cameron has said the UK's mission in Afghanistan is 'accomplished'...

Two lawyers enter a restaurant.

They both pull up suitcases onto the table they're on, and take out a sandwich each from their suitcases. Seeing this, a waiter comes up to them and tells them they cannot eat their own food in the restaurant. With an irritated tsk and a shake of the head, the two lawyers exchange their sandwiches, much to the despair of the unfortunate waiter.

A blonde comes home early from work to find her husband in bed with another woman.

Shocked and furious, she pulls out a gun from her purse and points it at the couple on the bed. They recoil in fear.

But after a few seconds, the expression on the blondes face shifts from rage to one of sadness and despair.

She turns the gun away from the couple and points it at her own head.

Seeing this, her husband cries out, "Honey, wait...don't!"

She screams back at him, "Shut up! You're next!"

I was filling in an online survey when it asked me what state I lived in

Apparently "constant despair" isn't an appropriate answer.


What a Jamaican gets when he's bowling.

Despair joke, Despair.

I learned an evil magic spell to make readers feel great despair with only 3 words.

Awkward childhood memories.

Where do tormented people sleep?

In despair bedroom.

Nihilistic Kindergartners

David Bloom gained notoriety for his book Piscus Terminus: How to tell your five year old you flushed his fish down the toilet. Noted for its brute realism, the book's message led many kindergartners to spiral into a nihilistic despair, which contributed to the phenomenon of so called Kierkegaardeners , whose existential search for subjective truth in an otherwise meaningless world made birthday parties kind of a downer.

England squad visiting

England squad visited a russian orphanage today. It was heartbreaking to see the despair and lack of hope in their eyes said Dimitri, 6.

You can explore despair dolor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean despair depression dad jokes. There are also despair puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

After five years of living in utter despair, a young man finally found the key to lifelong happiness.

It was Prozac.

If you feel stuck in life don't despair...

A life without motion is still life.

What did the eyeball say?

Eyes, in deep despair, looking up, said in a passive tone, "wazzup brow"

Stranger on a bus

Stranger on a bus: Which state do you live in?

Me: In Constant despair \*looks out of the window\*

I'm in despair

Sorryβ€” I'm in The Spar. Forgot my reading glasses. Just popped in for a loaf of bread.

Despair joke, I'm in despair

Why do women have a hard time choosing what to eat?

Because what they decided to eat in the beginning released evil and despair into earth.

What did a depressed Lord Voldemort say to Peter Pettigrew?


What did the dolphin tell his friend with existential despair?

You have a porpoise in life!

Why was the Mexican tire sad?

Because it was despair

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the despair blankly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working despair frustration piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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