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Desire Jokes

68 desire jokes and hilarious desire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about desire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the humor in Tennessee Williams' iconic play "A Streetcar Named Desire" with these witty jokes. Capturing the complexity of worldly entanglements and human intimacy, these jokes shine a light on the willingness to accept life's struggles while still finding humor in our daily lives.

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Popular Desire Short Jokes

Short desire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The desire humour may include short wanting jokes also.

  1. 50s Soviet joke Who is your mother?
    Our great Soviet country.
    Who is your father?
    Our dear comrade Stalin.
    What's your greatest desire?
    Becoming an orphan.
  2. There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang... This joke has been removed.
    Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
    To desire more is greed.
  3. A man with no carnal desires walks into a Freudian psychoanalyst's office The psychoanalyst stops him and says, "hey, buddy, I'm gonna need to see some id."
  4. A man tells a Rabbi that he has the desire to live forever. "What can I do?" The Rabbi said: "Go and get married."
    "Will I then live forever?" the man asked.
    "No, but the desire does go away".
  5. A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, who can fulfill his desires, and who can cook. But most importantly, he must make sure that these women never meet.
  6. Quick Grammar Lesson. They're = they are
    We're = we are
    You're = you are
    My fire = the one desired
    Believe me = when I say
    I want it = that way.
  7. Quick grammar lesson: You're: You are
    My: fire
    The one: desire
    Believe when: I say
    I want it: that way
  8. I had many career paths to choose from - lawyer, prison guard, veterinarian but none of them satisfied my desire to work with animals quite like being a teacher
  9. A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
    "Get married," replies the Rabbi.
    "Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
    "Not really, but the desire will disappear."
  10. It takes up to 5 minutes for Chloroform to work And it takes additional applications for the desired outcome.
    ......talk about an awkward evening

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Desire One Liners

Which desire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with desire? I can suggest the ones about craving and ambition.

  1. Which is the most desired summer body this year? The antibody.
  2. What food, when consumed by a female, causes a complete loss of desire? Wedding cake.
  3. Why is an unmarried man from Malta very desirable? Because he is a single malt.
  4. What does a fat girl desire but already have? A ten chin
  5. My friend's a pyromaniac... I guess you could say he has a "burning desire".
  6. A pirate desires what kind of woman? The s-curvy girls
  7. What dog breed do Jewish pet owners desire most? A Golden Retriever
  8. I overcame the desire for self pleasure... I just had to ween off
  9. What was the Sci-fi remake of A Streetcar Named Desire? InterSTELLLLLLLAAAAAAAR
  10. What do you call Mario's desire to travel quickly? A pipe dream.
  11. There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
  12. Aqua Regia: The New Fragrance Feel the burning of desire.
  13. Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
  14. Tom Brady has 6 of the most desired rings in the world 5 are from the Super Bowl
  15. Husband catchs pregnant woman eating grass, what is it? Just pregnancy desire

Desire joke, Husband catchs pregnant woman eating grass, what is it?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about desire can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of desire puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Desire Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about desire you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean temptation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make desire prank.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."

The Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." ― Ayn Rand

Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation s**... owner.

"My Friend has got a theory."

"She reckons that the way to drive a man wild with desire is to nibble on his earlobes for hours on end."
"I think it's b**..."
-Jimmy Carr

A mexican boy with the desire to be white

A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.
He says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira la Abuela, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"

New-Yorker has found a wizard in the bottle. Wizard said:"I'll fulfill your every desire, but your neighbour would get it twice."

"Poke out my eye"

A limerick, There once was a bishop from kings...

There once was a bishop from Kings,
Who talked about god and such things,
But his real desire,
was a boy in the choir,
with a bottom like jello on springs.

What is the cause of an increase in s**... desire in young men?

w**...-moans

An Irish man, a Russian man and an English man all go to a magic park

At the park there is a magic slide and each man who goes down it will recive a p**... of whatever they desire
The Irish man says "gold!" And he lands in a p**... of gold.
The Russian man says "silver! " and he lands in a p**... of silver.
The English man says "Weee! " and he lands in a p**... of wee.

With age comes wisdom

An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any s**... favor you desire!"
The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?" said the frog.
"I'm 75, I'd rather have a talking frog!"

I know a woman with an uncontrollable s**... desire towards books.

She's an infomaniac

If I ever have a daughter, i'm gonna name her Desire

And when she is 18, I'll kick her out of the house and when she asks why, I'll say "Because all suffering comes from desire".

I found a cure for my wife's insomnia...

All I have to do is express a desire to have s**... with her and immediately she is too tired to do anything but sleep.

When I spin around my s**... desire increases.

I think it's an aphrodizzyac.

So this guy finds a magic lamp...

This guy finds a magic lamp. Obviously, a Genie comes out of it.
*The Genie: You can make 1 wish, it can be anything. What do you desire?
*The guy: Well, I'd like to have a railroad that connects New York City and Moscow.
*The Genie: That... might be a liitle too much. Is there anything else you would like?
*The Guy: Well, if that's the case, I'd like to be able to understand Women
* The Genie: Did you want express trains as well?

Dr. Holm struggles with a bad conscience after s**... with a patient

A voice in him says, "Follow your desire". Another voice says: "Remember, you're a vet"

What's the difference between a perverse s**... desire and hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi?

One's h**...
The other's ten hi

Adam was lonely

He said "God, all the creatures have their mates but I am alone".
God thought for a minute and said "I will make you a perfect companion. She will be lovely, kind, attentive and will fulfill your every desire. I'll need from you two fingers, a kidney and one of your t**...".
Adam thought for a minute and said "What can I get for a rib?"

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,
"YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY 1000 YEAR PRISON, WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? I WILL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES!"
The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of sight, and in the groove."
So the genie turns him into a t**....

A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"

"Get married," replies the Rabbi.

"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"

"Not really, but the desire will disappear."

A man walks into the bar and takes a stool next to a duck on the bar...

Man: what's with the duck?
Bartender: oh he's magic
M: what?
B: magic... So you whisper your greatest desire in his ear and immediately he grants it
M: no way
B: try it!
The man leans into the ducks ear and whispers something and *p**...* a small man in a suit with tails and a white bow tie appears on the bar.
M: well it must be broken because I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist...

Limerick

There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?

Teacher: Class, who can tell me what "group necrophilia"means?

Little Johnny: It's a desire to crack open a cold one with the lads.

Because it wasn't good for Adam to be all by himself, the Lord came down for a visit.

"Adam," the Lord said, "I have a plan to make you a very happy man. I'm going to give you a companion who will fulfill your every need and desire. She will be loving, and beautiful, and faithful. She will make you feel wonderful every day of your life."
Adam was stunned, "That sounds incredible!"
"I'm glad you like the idea, but it doesn't come cheap." The Lord replied. "It will cost you an arm and a leg."
"That's a pretty high price to pay," Adam said. "What can I get for a rib?"

He: I have a f**......

She: An uncontrollable desire to return to the imperial measurement system??

How to get the body you desire in 3 easy steps!

Step 1 - Go to your local gym.
Step 2 - Find the person whose body you wish to emulate.
Step 3 - Abduct that person.
Now you have the body you desire! Problem solved!

A guy gets to Heaven and meets God for the first time...

God says, welcome my child. For living an exemplary life and following in my footsteps, I welcome you to Heaven and will answer one question for you. The answer to any of your life's mysteries that you desire.
The man ponders. He hurriedly thinks back on his life, wondering which answer he wants the most and not wanting to waste God's time, but he can't decide. He stares back at Him, unsure of what to say.
God says, don't worry my child, I am all knowing, so I already know what question you will ask.
The man, visibly relieved, exclaimed oh thank you! What is it?
That one. Enjoy eternity!

David wanted to be a writer!

There was once this young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. Say hello to David. When asked what he wanted to write, David would say with great enthusiasm, " I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
A decade later, David did fulfill his dream:
David now writes the error messages for Python interpreter.

A Democrat and a Republican were walking along the beach when they spotted a bottle.

They picked it up and a genie popped out.
"I will grant you each one wish, whatever you desire", said the genie.
The Democrat said, "I would like for my fellow liberals and I to live the life and exist under the form of government we believe in!" p**...! All the Democrats in America were whisked away to Venezuela.
The genie turns to the Republican and said, "And what is your wish?"
The Republican paused for a second and said, "You mean to tell me that all the Democrats in America are gone?"
The genie answered, "Yes!"
The Republican goes, "In that case, I'll take a beer."

After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?

God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?

A recently divorced woman finds a magic lantern. The genie offers her 3 wishes but with one condition.

Every wish that is granted her will be doubled to her Ex-husband.
So to test the genie she makes her first wish for $10 million. Sure enough her Ex received $20 million.
Her 2nd wish is for 2 supermodel consorts. Again her Ex is graced with 4 supermodels to fulfill his every desire.
For her final wish she asks the genie for a MMA fighter to beat her half to death!

A man tells his Rabbi: "I have a deep desire to live forever. What should I do?"

Rabbi: "Go and get married"
Man: "That's it? How will that allow me to live forever?"
Rabbi: "It won't, but your desire will go away."

A son, who had rejected his father's wish for him to follow in his footsteps as an ornithologist and left home as a young man, returns many years later. After dinner, the two go for a walk.

The son sees a large bird flying overhead. Out of a sincere desire to reconnect, he points it out, and says, "Father, is that a hawk?"
Understanding the gesture, the father does not want to correct his son by informing him that it is actually a vulture. Instead, he offers a hint.
"Carrion, my wayward son."

Aspirations

A young boy one day decided to make his desire to become a big writer.
"I want to write things that the people will read all around the world, something that the people will react with a very high emotional level such as scream, cry, get mad and make them suffer" He said.
Now he works at Microsoft and he writes error messages.

Stalin visits a group of Little Octobrists.

He asks one boy, "What is your name?"
"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.
Stalin: So tell me , Vovochka, who is your mother?
Vovochka: My mother is the Great Soviet Country!
Stalin: Very good, and your father?
Vovochka: My father is Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin!
Stalin: Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?
Vovochka: To become an orphan.

Stalin visits a Young Pioneer camp.

He asks one boy, "What is your name, boy?"
"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.
"So tell me, Vovochka," Stalin says, "who is your mother?"
"My mother is the Great Soviet Country!"
"Very good," says Stalin, "and your father?"
"My father is the wise and kind Josef Vissarionovich Stalin!"
Stalin pats Vovochka's cheek: "Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?"
"To become an orphan."

Relapse

"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You'll never be trapped by the desire to steal again. "Gee, that's great, Doc," the patient replied."And just to prove it, I want you to stop by Sears on the way home and walk the length of the store.
You'll see - you'll feel no temptation to shoplift whatsoever. "Oh, Doctor, whatever can I do to thank you? "Well," suggested the psychiatrist, "if you DO have a relapse, I could use a new microwave. "

Adam tells God he's really lonely on earth alone

God says "Adam I'm going to make you a woman."
Adam says "what's that?"
God says "It's another human that you will able to bond with. She'll love you, care for you, cook for you, worship you and tend to your every desire. She will be at your beckon call, give you offspring and you will never want for anything else in life again."
Adam says "that sounds wonderful Lord. What will it cost me?"
God says "it will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam thinks for a second and says "what can I get for a rib?"

Live for ever

A man approaches his Rabbi and says
"I want to live forever"!
The rabbi replies "Then you should get married"
The man asks "will that help me live forever?"
Rabbi responds "No, it will lessen the desire.."

Desire joke, Live for ever

jokes about desire

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these desire jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.