The Best 49 Desire Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Desire jokes. There are some desire intention jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these desire wanna puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Desire Jokes and Puns
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
The Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." ― Ayn Rand
Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation slave owner.
What dog breed do Jewish pet owners desire most?
A Golden Retriever
"My Friend has got a theory."
"She reckons that the way to drive a man wild with desire is to nibble on his earlobes for hours on end."
"I think it's bollocks"
-Jimmy Carr
What does a fat girl desire but already have?
A ten chin
A mexican boy with the desire to be white
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.
He says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira la Abuela, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"
New-Yorker has found a wizard in the bottle. Wizard said:"I'll fulfill your every desire, but your neighbour would get it twice."
"Poke out my eye"
A limerick, There once was a bishop from kings...
There once was a bishop from Kings,
Who talked about god and such things,
But his real desire,
was a boy in the choir,
with a bottom like jello on springs.
What is the cause of an increase in sexual desire in young men?
Whore-moans
What food, when consumed by a female, causes a complete loss of desire?
Wedding cake.
You can explore desire willingness reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean desire appetite dad jokes. There are also desire puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What was the Sci-fi remake of A Streetcar Named Desire?
InterSTELLLLLLLAAAAAAAR
There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang...
This joke has been removed.
Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
To desire more is greed.
An Irish man, a Russian man and an English man all go to a magic park
At the park there is a magic slide and each man who goes down it will recive a pot of whatever they desire
The Irish man says "gold!" And he lands in a pot of gold.
The Russian man says "silver! " and he lands in a pot of silver.
The English man says "Weee! " and he lands in a pot of wee.
My friend's a pyromaniac...
I guess you could say he has a "burning desire".
With age comes wisdom
An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any sexual favor you desire!"
The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?" said the frog.
"I'm 75, I'd rather have a talking frog!"
50s Soviet joke
Who is your mother?
Our great Soviet country.
Who is your father?
Our dear comrade Stalin.
What's your greatest desire?
Becoming an orphan.
I know a woman with an uncontrollable sexual desire towards books.
She's an infomaniac
If I ever have a daughter, i'm gonna name her Desire
And when she is 18, I'll kick her out of the house and when she asks why, I'll say "Because all suffering comes from desire".
I found a cure for my wife's insomnia...
All I have to do is express a desire to have sex with her and immediately she is too tired to do anything but sleep.
When I spin around my sexual desire increases.
I think it's an aphrodizzyac.
So this guy finds a magic lamp...
This guy finds a magic lamp. Obviously, a Genie comes out of it.
*The Genie: You can make 1 wish, it can be anything. What do you desire?
*The guy: Well, I'd like to have a railroad that connects New York City and Moscow.
*The Genie: That... might be a liitle too much. Is there anything else you would like?
*The Guy: Well, if that's the case, I'd like to be able to understand Women
* The Genie: Did you want express trains as well?
Dr. Holm struggles with a bad conscience after sex with a patient
A voice in him says, "Follow your desire". Another voice says: "Remember, you're a vet"
What do you call Mario's desire to travel quickly?
A pipe dream.
What's the difference between a perverse sexual desire and hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi,hi?
One's hentai
The other's ten hi
Adam was lonely
He said "God, all the creatures have their mates but I am alone".
God thought for a minute and said "I will make you a perfect companion. She will be lovely, kind, attentive and will fulfill your every desire. I'll need from you two fingers, a kidney and one of your testicles".
Adam thought for a minute and said "What can I get for a rib?"
A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.
A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,
"YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY 1000 YEAR PRISON, WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? I WILL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES!"
The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of sight, and in the groove."
So the genie turns him into a tampon.
A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really, but the desire will disappear."
A man walks into the bar and takes a stool next to a duck on the bar...
Man: what's with the duck?
Bartender: oh he's magic
M: what?
B: magic... So you whisper your greatest desire in his ear and immediately he grants it
M: no way
B: try it!
The man leans into the ducks ear and whispers something and *poof* a small man in a suit with tails and a white bow tie appears on the bar.
M: well it must be broken because I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist...
Limerick
There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
But now that it's in,
Could you shove it a few inches higher?
If you drink 2 glasses of Kale juice daily, it will destroy your belly fat and
Your desire to live too.
Teacher: Class, who can tell me what "group necrophilia"means?
Little Johnny: It's a desire to crack open a cold one with the lads.
Because it wasn't good for Adam to be all by himself, the Lord came down for a visit.
"Adam," the Lord said, "I have a plan to make you a very happy man. I'm going to give you a companion who will fulfill your every need and desire. She will be loving, and beautiful, and faithful. She will make you feel wonderful every day of your life."
Adam was stunned, "That sounds incredible!"
"I'm glad you like the idea, but it doesn't come cheap." The Lord replied. "It will cost you an arm and a leg."
"That's a pretty high price to pay," Adam said. "What can I get for a rib?"
I overcame the desire for self pleasure...
I just had to ween off
He: I have a foot fetish...
She: An uncontrollable desire to return to the imperial measurement system??
How to get the body you desire in 3 easy steps!
Step 1 - Go to your local gym.
Step 2 - Find the person whose body you wish to emulate.
Step 3 - Abduct that person.
Now you have the body you desire! Problem solved!
Why were corn flakes invented joke
John Harvey Kellogg believed sexual desires caused disease and invented the plain cereal to stop self-pleasuring.
P.S.
Corn Flakes were not invented as an anti-masturbatory aid, despite a popular rumour which has surfaced online. Corn Flakes were developed to provide nourishment to patients at the Kellogg sanitarium in Michigan.
A guy gets to Heaven and meets God for the first time...
God says, welcome my child. For living an exemplary life and following in my footsteps, I welcome you to Heaven and will answer one question for you. The answer to any of your life's mysteries that you desire.
The man ponders. He hurriedly thinks back on his life, wondering which answer he wants the most and not wanting to waste God's time, but he can't decide. He stares back at Him, unsure of what to say.
God says, don't worry my child, I am all knowing, so I already know what question you will ask.
The man, visibly relieved, exclaimed oh thank you! What is it?
That one. Enjoy eternity!
David wanted to be a writer!
There was once this young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. Say hello to David. When asked what he wanted to write, David would say with great enthusiasm, " I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
A decade later, David did fulfill his dream:
David now writes the error messages for Python interpreter.
Quick grammar lesson:
You're: You are
My: fire
The one: desire
Believe when: I say
I want it: that way
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
A recently divorced woman finds a magic lantern. The genie offers her 3 wishes but with one condition.
Every wish that is granted her will be doubled to her Ex-husband.
So to test the genie she makes her first wish for $10 million. Sure enough her Ex received $20 million.
Her 2nd wish is for 2 supermodel consorts. Again her Ex is graced with 4 supermodels to fulfill his every desire.
For her final wish she asks the genie for a MMA fighter to beat her half to death!
A man tells his Rabbi: "I have a deep desire to live forever. What should I do?"
Rabbi: "Go and get married"
Man: "That's it? How will that allow me to live forever?"
Rabbi: "It won't, but your desire will go away."
A man tells a Rabbi that he has the desire to live forever. "What can I do?"
The Rabbi said: "Go and get married."
"Will I then live forever?" the man asked.
"No, but the desire does go away".
Which is the most desired summer body this year?
The antibody.
A man tells a Rabbi:
"I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really, but the desire will disappear."
A son, who had rejected his father's wish for him to follow in his footsteps as an ornithologist and left home as a young man, returns many years later. After dinner, the two go for a walk.
The son sees a large bird flying overhead. Out of a sincere desire to reconnect, he points it out, and says, "Father, is that a hawk?"
Understanding the gesture, the father does not want to correct his son by informing him that it is actually a vulture. Instead, he offers a hint.
"Carrion, my wayward son."
Aspirations
A young boy one day decided to make his desire to become a big writer.
"I want to write things that the people will read all around the world, something that the people will react with a very high emotional level such as scream, cry, get mad and make them suffer" He said.
Now he works at Microsoft and he writes error messages.
I had many career paths to choose from - lawyer, prison guard, veterinarian
but none of them satisfied my desire to work with animals quite like being a teacher
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the desire deduce jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
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