Designer Jokes
127 designer jokes and hilarious designer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about designer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for some clever designer jokes? From designer brand jokes to graphic designer puns, this article is sure to lightweight-heartedly poke fun at the many manufacturers and creators in the design industry, from interior designers to web designers and geneticists. Get ready for a good chuckle!
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Funniest Designer Short Jokes
Short designer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The designer humour may include short architect jokes also.
- Sad news....I lost my job as a stage designer, I wasn't very happy but left without making a scene.
- Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to solve Earth's overpopulation problem . Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in my cabin window every day.
- I was wrongly fired from my job as a stage designer today... I left without making a scene.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He's a web designer.
- What's the difference between IKEA and Theresa May? A cabinet designed by IKEA doesn't fall apart so easily.
- How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...
- a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar it was queen and they were playing their first gig
- I want to start an interior design company, I'm going to call it 9/11 because it's an inside job.
- There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them He's in love with the shape of u
- I've designed an aeroplane made entirely from rubber, so if it crashed, it would bounce It's a boing 747
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Designer One Liners
Which designer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with designer? I can suggest the ones about designed and developer.
- I have designed a website for orphans there isn't a home page
- I just finished designing a website for an orphanage There isn't a home page
- I have a fear of over-designed buildings. I have a complex complex complex.
- What was spider Man's major in college? Web Design.
- What do you call an Irishman who's had eight beers? The designated driver.
- Who designed King Arthur's Round Table? Sir Cumference.
- I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board... I thought, I'll give it a Go.
- I quietly left my job as a set designer... I didn't want to make a scene.
- I designed a rubber airplane that is crashproof. It's called the Boing 747
- You heard about the new Jewish designed car? It stops on a dime... & picks it up.
- The dumpling became a fashion designer because it knew how to dress to impress.
- I want to design a pencil with an eraser on both ends. People say it's pointless though.
- What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink? Sprite.
- Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.
- I started up a poster design company called "Original Poster" We don't deliver.
Web Designer Jokes
Here is a list of funny web designer jokes and even better web designer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it... We went and had some drinks. Really cool guy. Works as a web designer.
- A Web Designer decided to use right aligned text His boss yelled at him for it, because it wasn't justified.
- The recruiter was shocked to see the applicant was a spider. Wait, what position are you applying for? A web designer, the spider replied
- Struck up a conversation with a spider today at home while dusting. Nice guy. He's a web designer
- Spider web designer joke My friend and I wanted to take the spider out instead of killing it...
Went and got drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web designer. - What does a spider want to be when he grows up? (This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........)
A web designer. - What is the most common job among spiders? Web designer.
- I saw a spider in my house today, but instead of killing it I took it out. We had a couple drinks, and as it turns out he's a really good guy. He says he wants to be a web designer.
- What do you call a graduated spider? A Web Designer
- What's the most popular job amongst spiders? Web designer.
Fashion Designer Jokes
Here is a list of funny fashion designer jokes and even better fashion designer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't fashion designers play uno? Because they always draw a cardigan.
- A fashion designer was interviewing a cannibal... "So what do you think would best complement a person?"
"Salt and pepper." - What do you call a fashion designer that rejects everything? Calvin Deklein.
- Have you guys heard about the deaf fashion designer? Whenever he watched anything, he needed clothed captions!
- Why do fashion designers never have any good ideas? They're too clothes minded.
- What do you call a fashion designer, who is not yet sure about his new collection? Tommy Hilfigeritout
- Why did the fashion designer want to be cremated? Because he wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same outfit for all eternity.
- What does a Russian fashion designer call people from the United States? A mannequin.
- A famous Australian fashion designer created a special collection of denim trousers for the indigenous population. He calls them Aborijeans.
- Unlike many guys, I don't try to get into a lady's pants… …mostly because they won't fit me, but also because they lack usable pockets. What's up with that aspect of fashion design, anyway?
Graphics Designer Jokes
Here is a list of funny graphics designer jokes and even better graphics designer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've gotten a Graphic Design job at a nuclear plant The pay is not great, but they told me I'd be getting some exposure.
- So I used to date this graphic designer... We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?
- We Finally Know Why The Leaning Tower Of pisa Is Leaning. The graphic designer pressed the *ITALICS* key on accident.
- I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in graphic design I have over 300 confirmed designs and don't have a single job...
- Where do graphic designers go for a drink? CGI Friday's
- What do graphic designers smoke up to get high? Adobe.
- How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter? Ask them to pronounce "hires"
- I'm a graphic designer for an online casino I do a lot of arts & craps.
- Why Did the Graphic Designers of the Past Have it Rough? They didn't have anti-aliasing!
- Graphic designers just aren't my type.
Graphic Designer Jokes
Here is a list of funny graphic designer jokes and even better graphic designer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A graphic designer has a heart attack I guess you could call it...
a s**.... - What's the difference between a graphic designer and a n**... model? Well, one does exposure for art...
Designer Brand Jokes
Here is a list of funny designer brand jokes and even better designer brand puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend can't decide which designer brand to wear to dinner. I'm sure Hilfiger it out.
- If Harry Potter owned a designer brand, what would it be called? Harry Styles
Laughter Designer Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about designer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean creator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make designer pranks.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'
'Of course child. What can I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!
Two Cops were waiting outside of a bar at closing time......
.....waiting to pop drunk drivers.
A man comes out of the bar, and he is obviously in rough shape. He is weaving all over the place, and almost falls when he trips on a curb. He fumbles with his car keys for almost two minutes, dropping them several times before he finally unlocks his car. He gets in, starts the car, and drives off.
Needless to say, the cops follow him: for several miles. The man's driving was flawless, perfect and in accordance with all traffic laws.
Finally, they decide to pull him over anyway. They turn on their lights. He pulls over instantly. They ask him to step out of the car; he calmly complies. They check his license; it is valid, and clean. They give him several field sobriety tests, each harder than the last. He passes all with flying colors.
The two cops look at each other, then the man, and ask "Sir, you aren't drunk, are you?"
"No, I'm not," says the man.
"Then why were you acting drunk when you left the bar?"
"I'm tonight's DD."
"Designated Driver?"
"No, I'm the Designated Decoy. All of my drunk friends drove off the other way."
Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!
Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
Three engineering students.
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Have you been drinking sir?
"Been drinking tonight sir?" The policeman asked.
"I had one earlier, but that was all," I replied.
"I think you've had a few more than that sir. Would you step out of the van please."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because the Postman Pat ride isn't really designed for adults and there's children waiting for their go."
A graphic designer is working on a website...
...and his client says, "Could you make this banner a little more green?"
So he makes the color a little bit more green.
But his client says, "No, that's too green. Make it a little less so."
So he makes it a little less green.
The client says, "No, it's still a bit off."
So the artist, losing his patience, shouts, "On a scale of 0 to 255, how green do you want it!?"
NASA CHICKEN CANON
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."
Three engineers are debating what kind of engineer designed the human body
The first says "It has to be an electric engineer! The nervous system resembles some fantastic electrical work!"
The second says "It was obviously a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints throughout the human body."
The third says "It was a civil engineer! Who else would put a waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
A famous armorer was called to court...
…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!
I'm training to be a s**... in the Communist Revolutionary Forces...
... I'll be the designated Marxman!
The Japanese designed a detective-robot able to catch thieves easily
They tried it out in three countries.
In Japan, the robots caught 100 thieves in five minutes.
In the US, the robots caught 200 thieves in five minutes.
In Albania, five minutes were enough for the robots to be stolen.
Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night
To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "j**...".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.
What did the Apple Phone designer do when he got home?
j**...
My girlfriend often accuses me of telling sexist, condescending jokes that target women.
I've explained to her those jokes are actually ironic jabs at the current state of post-modern feminism, designed to highlight societal double standards across genders.
So she needn't worry her pretty little head about it.
There's a new razor designed for dyslexics.
It's the best thing since sliced beard.
I have a new idea for airplane design.
I'm hoping it'll take off.
What's the difference between parking in a designated area and parking on the street?
A lot.
Did you hear about the pirate themed phone Apple have been designing?
They're gonna call it the ayePhone
The Welsh were the first people to use a sheep's intestine as a c**....
The English improved the design by removing the rest of the sheep prior to use.
Three engineers are discussing what sort of god designed the human body.
The first says "god must be a mechanical engineer. Look at all these joints!"
The second says "nonsense! God must be an electrical engineer. The brain is made of millions of electrical connections!"
The third says "both of you are wrong! God must be a civic engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Apple is designing a car..
Everything was going great until they tried to install windows.
A lizard tatoo artist applies for a job at an architectural firm...
The hiring manager is perplexed. "How" he asks, "does inking reptiles amount to 'relevant experience' designing buildings for our firm?"
"Well for starters" the lizard tatoo artist begins, "all of my drawings are to scale."
*This is OC fam. Just put my 2 weeks notice in at my day job.*
I lost my job as a stage designer.
I left without making a scene.
A mechanical, electrical, and civil engineer were discussing God.
The mechanical engineer said, God had to have been a mechanical engineer. Look at the skeleton and how it's designed.
The electrical engineer said, No, no, no. God was an electrical engineer. Look at the nervous system and the way it works.
The civil engineer said, God had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a great recreational area?
Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]
Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.
He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.
Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts. That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:
\-Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?
Why is development in airplane engineering so slow?
Everyone is afraid to make a ground breaking design.
A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"
"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"
Money cant buy you happiness.
But I'd rather have my tears hit designer Bugatti leather than the composite foam in my car.
Poor planning?
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "it was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "no, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last said, "actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
I tried to design a f**... recognition system.
But it just wasn't me.
Three engineers argue about who designed the human body
"Look at all the supports and joints... " said the first engineer, "... it must have been a structural engineer."
"No, no, it was an electrical engineer; just look at the nervous system and all its connections and wiring." said the second engineer.
"Both of you are wrong" exclaimed the third engineer. "It was a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a toxic pipeline through the middle of a recreational area."
Who designed the human body?
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints!"
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through the recreational area?"
Three Engineers are eating lunch together and arguing.
The mechanical engineer is adamant that God must be a mechanical engineer because the human body is so well designed. The software engineer is just as sure that God must be a software engineer as the human mind is the most sophisticated software in the known universe. Suddenly they stop arguing and look at the civil engineer, "you've been awefully quiet?"
"Well it's pretty obvious that God isn't a civil engineer. No civil engineer would combine a recreational area with a sewage treatment plant."
lego bricks are like b**......
...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.
The Queen created a beautiful design that I decided to put on a shirt
One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.
After several very angry calls from the royal family's lawyers, I found out that I had to pay Her Royalty her royalties for Her Royal Tee's^TM
A inspector visits a sanatoriun to check its conditions.
During the tour the director takes him to one of their newly designed test rooms, claiming its foolproof.
"We fill up this bathtub to the brim see? Then we hand to the inmate a spoon and a cup and ask him to empty the tub" Says the director
The inspector nods and replies with a smile "Ah, i see. And the inmate, if sane will choose the cup because it's the biggest."
The director then looks at the inspector and raises a brow "No, the sane one will just open the drain"
I handed my wife a picture of a $50,000 Birkin designer handbag. "This is what I'm getting you for our anniversary!" She was so happy she started crying.
Who knew a simple photograph would mean so much to her?
My girlfriend and I were shopping today. We saw that t**... had designed Olympic sponsored Condoms? I told here we had to buy some...
What's so special about them?
They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.
And what color are you going to wear tonight?
Gold, obviously!
Why not Silver? It'd be great if you could come second for a change.
An officer sees a man leave the bar at closing time and walk in a drunken fashion, trying to enter each car parked there.
The officer thinks to himself I have got an easy catch. Meanwhile while this is going in, the other patrons enter their own cars and drive off.
When the drunken man finally climbs in his own car and pulls out, the cop is waiting for him and gives a breath analyser test.
To his surprise, it shows a reading of 0.0. Confused, the cop asks the driver, how?
To which the driver replies - Tonight, I am the designated decoy.
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are asked to design a fence.
The fence is required to contain as much land as possible for the least amount of fence material.
The engineer says "easy, just make a circular fence"
The physicist says, "wait a second! If you build the fence across the equator you'll have an even higher area/fence ratio!"
The mathematician says "amateurs!". He gets up and builds a tiny fence around his feet and proclaims "I declare myself to be on the outside."
A snail decides he wants to be a racer...
So he employs a pit crew, a coach, and a designer. The designer paints a big 'S' on the side of his vehicle which the snail highly approves of.
He tries out at a local track, and starts overtaking all the other amateurs much faster than anyone else.
The coach stares and says 'Look at that S-Car-Go!"
God must be an engineer.
Three engineering students are discussing what sort of God
must have designed the human body. The first says, 'God must be a mechanical engineer.
Look at all the joints."
The second says,"I think God must be an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of electrical connections." The third says, "Actually, God is a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
An offensive joke
A quarterback, a running back, a fullback, a wide receiver, a tight end, a left tackle, a left guard, a center, a right tackle, a right guard, a striker, an attacking midfielder, a left wing skater, a center, a right wing skater, a point guard, a shooting guard, a small forward and a designated hitter all walk into a bar
The band Static X just designed a lawn mower
Yeah... you push it.
Do you know what happens when your designer jeans get tangled in the dryer?
Guess knot
