Desert Heat Jokes
15 desert heat jokes and hilarious desert heat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about desert heat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Desert Heat Short Jokes
Short desert heat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The desert heat humour may include short desert jokes also.
- Two zeroes are walking through the desert. Along comes an eight.
Says one zero to the other: 'How can she wear a belt in this heat?' - My s**... life is like the Sahara desert. It's basically just intolerable heat, two palms, no dates and lots of emptiness.
(OC)
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Desert Heat One Liners
Which desert heat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with desert heat? I can suggest the ones about hot weather and sahara desert.
- Why don't Antifa like the desert? The heat is oppressive.
Desert Heat Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about desert heat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean warm weather jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make desert heat pranks.
A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.
AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. h**... goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."
Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....
... and they're at death's door....
They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with s**... after s**... of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......
"ees... a.... Hambush"
A chemist, a physicist, and an economist...
are all trapped on a desert island, trying to figure out how to open a can of food.
"Let's heat the can over the fire until the can explodes" says the chemist.
"No, no," says the physicist, "lets drop the can onto the rocks from the top of a tall tree"
"I have an idea," says the economist. "First, we assume a can opener..."
A geologist, physicist and an economist are marooned on a desert island with nothing to eat.
A can of soup washes ashore. They ponder how to open it. The geologist says, 'Let's smash it open with a rock.' The physicist says, 'Let's heat it up and blow it open.' The economist says, 'No, no. You guys will lose most of the soup. Let's just assume we have a can opener.'
Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S.
They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation.
When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crystal clear and it is surrounded with lush foliage. And in the center is one specific tree. It is a majestic plant and from it's branches hang the most unexpected of things.
Bacon. Delicious, crispy bacon. Enough to feed a man for days. Without even thinking, one of the men bolts for the oasis, desperate for food and water. As he reaches the half way point, from behind the tree springs forth a man wielding a machine gun. The poor immigrant is gunned down and lays in the sand, dieing. His friend runs to him and says
> Miguel, are you alright? What happened to you?
To which the man responds, looking up at his friend with his dieing breath
> Pedro, it is not a bacon tree...it is a hambush.
A penguin is driving down a desert road...
when his car begins to sputter. He pulls over into a service station and leaves his car with the mechanic. The penguin goes into a nearby ice cream shop and buys a vanilla ice cream cone to try and beat the heat. It's so hot outside that the ice cream begins to melt all over his hands and face as he eats it, leaving a mess. When he's finished his ice cream, he goes back to the service station to check on his car. The mechanic tells him "All fixed. Looks like you just blew a seal". The penguin replies, "No, it's just ice cream".
Two Christians are lost in an Arabian desert
David and Michael were going on a safari where they got lost and their car stopped working, they started wondering throughout the desert. With food and water supply almost ending and no reception anywhere they were desperately looking for help. After a very long time in the heat of the desert and almost dying from thirst they finally see a mosque far away. They start discussing among each other. David: I'll pretend my name is Mohammed so they will give me food and water! Michael: I don't care I won't change my name for food! As they go to the mosque, the Muslims rush to their aid. David says he's Mohammed and Michael says he's Michael. So the Muslims get water and food fast for Michael and as David was waiting for his turn the Muslims turn around for him and say... "You know it's Ramadan, right?"!
Two Christians are lost in a desert
David and Michael were going on a safari where they got lost and their car stopped working, they started wondering throughout the desert. With food and water supply almost ending and no reception anywhere they were desperately looking for help.
After a very long time in the heat of the desert and almost dying from thirst they finally see a mosque far away. They start discussing among each other.
David: I'll pretend I am a Muslim so they will give me food and water!
Michael: I don't care I am a proud Christian and I will not pretend to be someone else just for food.
As they go to the mosque, the Muslims rush to their aid. David says he's a Muslim and Michael says he's Christian.
So the Muslims get water and food fast for Mike and as David was waiting for his turn the Muslims turn around for him and say... "You know it's Ramadan, right"!
A Man Was Lost In The Desert
A man was lost in the desert for days and days and days and was crawling on his hands and knees. He had heat s**..., sun s**..., everything s**... and in maybe a few minutes he would be dead.
In the distance he saw a mirage, he thought. He saw someone coming towards him but he hadn't seen anyone for days. The middle of no where, so he thought this can't be true.
And as he looked, it looked as if it was an Eskimo with a dog sled and eight husky dogs in front. And he thought, 'The sun must be making me crazy, it must be a mirage.' But as it came closer, he could make out the sound of the dogs barking and he could see the furs on the Eskimo.
And he thought, 'My goodness, I'm actually saved! It's not a mirage after all!'
Soon, he could feel the dogs l**... his face and he could see the Eskimo standing right before him. "It's a mircale! I'm saved," he said. "I've been lost in the desert for days!" he said to the Eskimo.
And the Eskimo replied, "And you think YOU'RE lost."
Two Mexican Brothers
So two brothers, Ramon and Emelio, escape from a prison deep in the Mexican desert. They run for days and days through the hot and and the heat begins to take its toll. They are getting hungrier and thirstier and, all in all, more and more exhausted.
Suddenly, Ramon collapses. He looks up, reaching out his hand.
"Emelio, look!"
Emelio looks, he sees nothing.
"Ramon, what's wrong? What is it?"
"Look at that tree, Emelio! Bacon sprouts from its branches! We are saved!"
"Ramon, it's just a mirage, there's nothing there!"
Ramon summons up all his strength and runs for the tree, Emelio still protesting that it's nothing but a mirage.
Five prison guards pop up from the sand and fire on Ramon, knocking him to the ground, fatally wounded.
Emelio runs to his brother's side.
"Jesus, Ramon, are you okay?"
"Emelio...it wasn't a bacon tree...it was a hambush"
So man is stranded in the desert...
And it's been a cruel trip with nothing but his camel and some supplies. And just as any man would he got some urges. Figuring its the middle of no where and he had nothing to lose he positions himself behind his camel and tries to have his way with it. But each time he'd try the camel would gallop away. Angered by this continues on with his trip until he here's the voices of two women crying out for help. He finds them both stuck in a hole and they are gorgeous women dressed in very light clothing due to the heat.
" Please sir! If you help us out we will do *anything* to repay you" one says while showing off her cleavage.
So he tosses them a rope and pulls them out with his camel.
With both of them out they walk up to him and ask " So, what can we do for you?" with a sly smile.
Realizing his chance to release his urges he excitedly ask " Can you two ladies hold down my camel?"