Description Jokes
54 description jokes and hilarious description puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about description that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for unique ways of describing mundane tasks that could make them fun and interesting? Then you're at the right place! Check out this blog that offers fun descriptions as jokes to make your job more tolerable. With jokes that range from topics like job descriptions to summaries, this blog is sure to have something for everyone. Click the link to find out more!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Description Short Jokes
Short description jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The description humour may include short describe jokes also.
- "We're looking for a drug dealer," said the police officer, "and you fit the description we've been given." I said, "That was easy then. What can I get you fellas?"
- You know what I hate about some of the jokes submitted to this sub? You know what I hate about some of the jokes submitted to this sub?
When people repeat the title in the description. - When a guy describes himself as an alpha, I often think that's a pretty accurate description... Because after all, alpha is slow, heavy and really bad at penetrating biological material.
- What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo? An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.
- Ordered a European cabinet from Wayfair and received a girl instead Not what I expected when the description said Swedish maid
- I use this for my Tinder description and it works. "I fist bumped Chuck Norris once and survived".
- My wife has been cheating on me with a physicist I don't know what he looks like but according to my wife's description he seems to be a Feynman
- America has the Declaration of Independence, but what does Youtube have? The Lincoln Description
- TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.
- What is the difference between northern and southern zoos? Southern zoos have a description of the animals along with a recipe.
Share These Description Jokes With Friends
Description One Liners
Which description one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with description? I can suggest the ones about summary and details.
- The description is hilarious! The title is deeply misinformed.
- There's a spoiler in the description. There's a spoiler in the title.
- Local sausage restaurant starts a YouTube channel... Links in the description.
- A description of my experience with Carpentry. It was boring.
- I am phenomenally bad at making predictions. I'll explain in the description:
- The description is false The title is false
MIND BLOWN - can't put in title read description can't put in description read title
- Animal: Sea Cucumber Description: fat and cu-cumbersome.
- What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took? A No. 2 pencil.
- the job description of a f**... who is also an assassin? Silent but deadly
Job Description Jokes
Here is a list of funny job description jokes and even better job description puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Superb Waiter Our waiter went above and beyond his job description. He brought a lot to the table.
- I posted an ad for a housekeeper last week. Job description: Make my house great again
Nobody's called at all. - Since Donald Trump won Presidency of this Nation I don't want to see a job description with " Experience Required " Ever again.
Hilarious Description Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about description you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean headline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make description pranks.
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.
The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.
"Was he tall or was he short?"
The businessman replies, "Both!"
A husband, so proud...
....of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of 6" rather than by her first name. The wife was amused at first.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description. "Mother of 6, get me a beer!" This type of situation rose to a boiling point.
Finally, while at a party with her husband, he jokingly said, "Hey mother of 6, it's time to go!"
The wife shouted, "I'll be right with you - father of 4!"
[found this scrolling through YouTube Comments]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to keep an idiot busy (answer is in the description)
How to keep an idiot busy (answer is in the title).
A woman reports her husband's disappearance to the police . . .
They ask her for a description and she says "He's six feet, three inches tall, well-built, with thick, curly hair."
Her friend says, "What are you talking about? Your husband is five-foot-four, bald and overweight."
And she says "Who wants that one back?"
A man visits the doctor...
And tells him some symptoms he's been experiencing.
Doctor: "Based on your description, you are suffering from hypochondria."
Patient: "I knew it!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the linguistic description of sentences like h**... h**... h**...' and 'merry Christmas'?
They are both santa clauses.
An old fire mage asks his granddaughter to help him set up a "Face Book".
After she helps him sign up, add some friends, and pick a profile picture, he decides to write a short profile description as well.
"What would you like it to say?" says the granddaughter.
"Well, first, I am a fire mage, and I... love lemon meringue."
The granddaughter nods "mm-hmm" and begins typing:
"Pie-romancer."
A wife went to the police station with her next door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.
The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
Best description of a camel I ever heard:
An animal that looks like somebody tried to pass it through the eye of a needle.
(From an old 70's TV show from Mexico.)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my friend if he preferred prescriptive or descriptive linguistics....
...he said, "It's **pro**scriptive".
I always thought the origin of the word "politics" was a strangely accurate description of itself.
"Poli-" meaning "many",
"-tics" meaning "bloodsucking parasites."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was 9 I found out what r**... was from my uncle
For some reason his description of how it's done was very detailed .
A Rastafarian who has spent his whole life helping people and accumulated no possessions is writing his will. His lawyer looks at it and realizes it is nothing more than a lengthy description of his faith. "Are you sure this is all you have for a will?" asks the lawyer.
Ya. This is what I be leavin'.
In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"
The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.
When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?"
"Because my script is a play on words!"
A cop pulled a car over, with a driver that matched a description of a thief. Turns out the guy was not too smart.
The cop had a basic description of the thief, but seeing the matching tattoo, would seal this guys fate. The tattoo would be located on the guys forearm.
The cop says, "show me your forearms"
The driver looks confused
The cop gets louder, "show me your forearms!!"
The driver looks confused, and says, "I only have two"
A man sees a listing for a cell phone on eBay but he doesn't see a price.
There's only a description that said it was broken, as well as the picture.
Because he was only gonna use it for parts, he contacts the seller.
How much for the cell phone? Asks the man.
The seller replies No charge .
"I think your car just got keyed by some guy..." I told a man in the street.
"Can't you give me a better description?" he said.
"OK," I replied, "some gentleman swiped his tender hand across the metallic section of your motor vehicle, sir."
I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure…
So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.
The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
A woman reports her husband's disappearance to the police...
A woman reports her husband's disappearance to the police. They ask her for a description, and she says, He's six feet, three inches tall, well-built, with thick, curly hair.
Her friend says, What are you talking about? Your husband is five-feet-four, bald, and has a huge belly.
And she says, Who wants that one back?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A concerned citizen sees a distraught woman wandering around desperately calling out for someone she had become separated from...
Ever vigilant, the concerned citizen offers his help and asks what the lost individual looks like, and the woman describes a young girl who looks a little like her.
They decide to split up to cover more ground, and after a while the concern citizen sees a girl who matches the description. "Denise! Denise, is that you?" he asked.
She paused half a beat and sneered, "Of course I'm de niece, ya dingus. Where da h**... is de aunt?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last week I submitted a ten page in depth technical description of my groundbreaking invention to a prestigious journal... but it didn't get published.
They said I should just call a s**... a s**....
Missing
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children. "The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children. "The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back? "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have recently become known among friends and neighbors for being ruthless....
s**... description for someone whose wife is named Ruth and who has filed for divorce.
