Descending Jokes
54 descending jokes and hilarious descending puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about descending that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Descending Short Jokes
Short descending jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The descending humour may include short dependent jokes also.
- What do you call a snobbish criminal falling down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
- I was walking past a prison the other day, and I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.
I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending. - What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
- After Beethoven died and they buried him, you could hear his symphonies from the grave in the descending order, first his symphony No. 9, then No. 8 etc. He was just decomposing.
- What do you call a convicted felon on an escalator? I'm not sure, but I think it's con descending
- The history of boy bands proves the theory of evolution They all descended from The Monkees.
- I've always wanted to create a new font. The descenders would be little link sausages. They'd be the serifs of knotting ham.
- What do you call a snarky thief going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
Sorry if this is a repost. Heard it yesterday and thought you all would enjoy. - I saw a midget escaping from jail the other day He was looking down on me as he climbed down a rope.
I though to myself, that's a little con descending - Imagine the disappointment when if a wolf knew it's descendant would be a pug That's how your grandpa feels when he sees your man bun
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Descending One Liners
Which descending one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with descending? I can suggest the ones about downhill and downside.
- Size of matter in descending order. Molecule > Atom > Proton > Quark > x on a mobile ad
- What's it called when two Slinkys descend the stairs at the same time? Slinkronisation.
- What do you get when an Investment banker jumps off a cliff? A Con descending Altitude.
- What do you call a descendant of a music note? Son of a pitch!
- What do you call a Greek guy walking down the stairs? Con-Descending
- What did the Mexican say to Jesus when he (Jesus) descended from heaven? Hey, soos.
- Did you hear about the bull that descended into the heavens? holy cow.
- How does the author of harry potter descend a mountain? On foot, how else?
JK Rowling - What do you call a smug criminal going down stairs? A Condescending Con Descending.
- What do you call a rude convict going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
- I just had s**... with my wife and now I have STD's s**... Transmitted Descendants.
- What do you call a criminal dwarf in an escalator? A little con-descending
Giggle-Inducing Descending Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about descending you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ascends jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make descending pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
FBI Investigation.
The phone rings at the FBI headquarters.
"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding m**... inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, Sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes the they bust open every piece of wood, but finds no m**.... They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house.
"Hey Clifford, did the FBI come?"
"Yep"
"Did they chop the wood?"
"Yep"
"Great, now it's your turn to call. i need my garden plowed."
Thought up this one in class today. (OC) "What did the one gravedigger say to the other as they lowered the body of a patronizing embezzler into his grave?"
"It's always nice to see a condescending con descending".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when Condoleezza rice pushes a stuck-up criminal down a flight of stairs?
Conde sending condescending con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was driving past the prison the other day...
with a friend of mine. All of a sudden he starts shouting and pointing, 'LOOK! There's a midget escaping! He's gone over the wall and is climbing down!'
I slammed on my brakes and said, 'woah, hang on. You can't say midget - it's a little con-descending.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who said r**... aren't real smart?
"Hello, is this here the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Virgil Smith. He's drillin' holes in his farwood and hiding m**... inside!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff & his deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they split every piece of wood, but find no m**.... They sneer at Virgil and leave.
The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split yer farwood?"
"Yep!"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"
A monk decides to become a scribe...
When he arrives at the scribes' church, he meets the bishop and begins his apprenticeship. While checking a scroll, he has question and approaches the bishop for help. The bishop decides to check the original scroll in the catacombs, so he descends into the basement of the church. Several hours later, since he hasn't returned, the monk goes down into the catacombs to find him.
The monk finds the bishop laying on the ground in the fetal position, clutching the scroll to his chest and sobbing. With tears in his eyes, he looks up at the monk and says...
"It says 'celebrate'."
What do you call a fugitive, talking down to you while fleeing down the stairs?
a condescending con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a sneaky criminal that thinks he's superior to everyone walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me...
I thought to myself, "well, that was a little con-descending."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the s**... inmate who stole an airplane and parachuted out?
He was a condescending con descending.
^^^I'll ^^^be ^^^here ^^^all ^^^week, ^^^try ^^^the ^^^veal.
What was the philosopher's last thought before he descended into quicksand?
I sink therefore I am.
What do you call an snobbish Mongolian ruler going down the stairs?
A condescending Khan descending.
A baseball pitcher is walking home...
after a long and exhausting game. Suddenly, bright lights appear in the sky directly above him, and a beautiful angel descends from above, wearing an umpire's mask and a catcher's mitt.
The pitcher looks up, gapes and thinks, "Heavens! She's so pretty."
Without skipping a beat, his shoulders slump back, his grin shines out of his mouth, he winks and says, "Hey baby. Wanna play some catch? Looking up at you makes me want to throw up."
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder...
Two prisoners were escaping down a ladder. While the seasoned prisoner at the top watched for guards, the new prisoner went down the ladder first and slowly. Once the ladder was clear, the seasoned prisoner slid down in just three seconds, then he scolded the new prisoner for being so slow. The new prisoner replied, "Well, look at mister con descending here."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a pretentious criminal who is going down an escalator?
A condescending con descending.
As the crowded elevator descended,
Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said,
"That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A criminal talked down to me on an escalator today.
He was a condescending con descending.
Did you know 1 in 200 men are directly descended from the leader of the Mongol Empire?
I was shocked too, but it made a lot more sense once I realized that back then there were no Genghis condoms.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thor was viewing the earth, when he saw a beautiful milkmaid. He transformed to human form, descended to earth - and seduced her.
They made love for 3 days and 3 nights, then one morning Thor was stood with his back to her, shuttered sunlight streaming through his golden hair and across his massive frame - the very image of godlike perfection. And he spoke.
Darling, I must away from this place he turned round for dramatic effect, then thundered. FOR I, AM THOR!
She replied YOU'RE thor? I can barely thtand!
An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.
He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from Latin he says, "Adducere me ad Marriott deversorium"
The cab driver nods and puts the car in gear. As he into traffic he says, "Wow, you sure haven't been to Rome for a long time."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I die
I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the c**... site and see the impact I've made.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an uppity criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con, descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old one: A rabbi and a priest go golfing, but the rabbi keeps missing his shots.
Whenever this happens, he angrily exclaims, g**..., I missed! At each hole, the rabbi swears, and at each hole, the priest shakes his head. Finally, on the final hole, the exasperated priest declares, Rabbi, if you continue with this disrespect for the Lord's name, so help me, may He strike you down right here on the green. The rabbi swings, misses, and swears. Suddenly, a lightning bolt descends and incinerates the priest. A heavenly voice then cries out, g**..., I missed!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A short man was just convicted of a felony and was going down the stairs with his lawyer and the deputies
His lawyer said, "you should have listened to me, s**...!"
I'm like wow - that's a little con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A sad first attempt at a joke
(It's my first time posting here. Don't blame me for the terrible joke lol)
A lawyer just lost a career making/breaking case so Satan sees this as an opportunity to approach him and make him an offer.
Satan: I will make you the most successful lawyer in history. You will never lose a case again. You will be famous. You will be wealthy beyond your wildest imagination.
Lawyer: What's the catch?
Satan: I want the souls of your parents, your siblings, your spouse, your children and all your future descendants for d**... in h**... for all eternity.
Lawyer: Okay, but what's the catch?
