The Best 48 Descartes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Descartes jokes. There are some descartes leibniz jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these descartes cartesian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Descartes Jokes and Puns

Descartes

Why don't you teach prostitutes philosophy?

That would be putting Descartes before the whores.

A short philosophy joke...

RenΓ© Descartes is walking around a party when somebody asks him if he'd like something to drink. Descartes answers, I think not and promptly vanishes.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar.
The Bartender says, "Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?" Descartes replies, "No, I think not."
And then he vanishes.

No dice.

Descartes joke, Rene Descartes walks into a bar. 
The Bartender says, "Hey, Rene, you want a scotch?" Descartes repl

Descartes in the Bar

RenΓ© Descartes is sitting in a bar, drinking and going on and on to other customers about philosophy. He goes on and on into the night getting drunker.

The bartender asks Descartes if he'll have another drink.

"I think not," he replies and disappears in a puff of logic.

RenΓ© Descartes walks into a bar

The bar tender asks him if he wants a drink, he says "I think not." He then disappears.


A common philosophical problem ...

A common philosophical problem is the putting of Descartes before des horse.

RenΓ© Descartes Walks Into A Bar

He orders a beer and drinks it. The bartender returns and asks if he wants a second one. Rene responds "I think not" and promptly disappears.

Descartes joke, RenΓ© Descartes Walks Into A Bar

So Descartes walks into a bar

and he asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender gets it for him and he drinks it. The philosopher calls the bartender over again, asks for another one, gets it, and drinks it. This time, the bartender sees him finish the beer and goes over and asks Descartes if he'd like another. The philosopher says, "I think not," and disappears.

Why is RenΓ© Descartes considered a thinker?

Because he is.

RenΓ© Descartes walks into a bar

~~The bartender asks him if he wants a drink.~~

~~"I don't think so..."~~

The bartender says "Hey, RenΓ©, gonna have your usual?"

"I don't think I am."

Descartes disappears.

So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner...

After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, "I think not," then immediately disappears.

You can explore descartes voltaire reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean descartes pythagoras dad jokes. There are also descartes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


RenΓ© Descartes walks into a bar.

RenΓ© Descartes walks into a bar, takes a stool and orders a beer. A little while later the bartender, noticing the empty glass, asks 'Ready for another?'

'I think not' relies Descartes, and BOOM, the air implodes into the suddenly empty space.

Did you hear that RenΓ© Descartes accidentally committed suicide?

He just wasn't thinking.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar...

The bartender asks, "will you be having a drink tonight?"

Descartes replies, "I think not."

And POOF, he disappears.

A horse walks into a bar...

...and the bartender says "are you feeling all right?" The horse replies,"I don't think I am," *POOF* the horse disappears. This is of course a joke referencing the famous quote "I think, therefore I am." I would have explained this ahead of time but I didn't want to put *Descartes* before the horse.

RenΓ© Descartes is chilling with his girlfriend. She asks: "What are you thinking of?"

He says: "Nothing." and disappears.

Descartes joke, RenΓ© Descartes is chilling with his girlfriend. She asks: "What are you thinking of?"

Alcoholic Horse

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?

The horse ponders for a minute and responds, I don't think I am , and poof he disappears.

This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I think, therefore I am.

But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "You come here a lot; are you an alcoholic?" The horse ponders this for a moment and says, "I don't think I am."
POOF! The horse disappears.

At this point, a psychology student would begin to snicker because he knows about the Descartes postulate, "I think therefore I am."

I could have told you about that at the beginning of the joke, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. . .

. . .and orders a beer. When he finishes is, the barkeep asks "Have another?" Descartes replies "I think not."

. . .and POOF. He vanishes.


RenΓ© Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, Would you like a beer?

Descartes replies, I think not, and promptly disappears.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.

The barkeeper says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.

See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'I think therefor I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.

So a horse walks into a bar...

So a horse walks into a bar. The barkeep seems to know that the horse frequently goes to bars, and he asks the horse, "Aren't you an alcoholic by now?"

The horse replies, "I think not!" and disappears, seemingly into thin air.

See, the joke here is based on Rene Descartes' famous philosophy of "I think, therefore I am", however, explaining that part first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

RenΓ© Descartes is sitting in a restaraunt

when the waiter approaches and asks "Would you like some wine?"

"I think not" said Descartes.

Then he ceases to exist.

Did you hear the one about the philosophy major that failed out of school?

Apparently he put the whores before Descartes

Descartes walks into a bar and orders a beer...

"Would there be anything else?" asks the bartender.

Descartes says, "I think not", and disappears.

Descartes walks into a bar...

The bartender says: "would you like a beer?" Descartes replies: "I think not", and he ceases to exist.

A Horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says to the barman "5 whiskeys please!" before downing the whole lot.

The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?"

The horse says "I don't think I am". Suddenly the horse poofs out of existence.

See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. Therefore I am." However explaining this prior to the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

Descartes is sitting at a bar finishing a beer.

When the bartender asks if he'd like another, the philosopher says, "I think not," and disappears

A man offers Descartes $100 to jump in a lake.

Without thinking, Descartes ceases to exist.

A horse walks into a bar...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Can I get you anything?" The horse replies "I think not," a promptly disappears.

If you don't get it, it's important to first understand that the French philosopher Descartes famously said, "I think, therefore I am." So when the horse said "I think not," then he could no longer be.

I guess I could have explained all of that before I told the joke, but that would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar; the bartender asks, "Hello, do you want a beer?" The horse responds, "I think not," and promptly disappears.

Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." The horse thought not, and therefore wasn't...

But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse!

My wife is an equestrian and she uses the money she earns to pay for me to go to University and study Philosophy. One night she asked me to help out around the stable and I told her I would but only after I finished my readings.

She accused me of putting Descartes before the horse.

Rene Descartes walked in to a bar.

Barkeep asks " Do you want a drink?"

Descartes says "I think not," and poof. He's gone.

Mr. Stark, I'm not feeling so good...

Rene Descartes get home from work.

Wife: You forgot groceries again!?

Descartes: I'm sorry honey, I wasn't thinking.

*Descartes slowly fades from existence*

Descartes walks into a bar.

He orders a drink and finishes it. The bartender asks if he wants another.

"I think not," says Descartes.

Poof. He disappears.

Rene Descartes goes to a restaurant and orders a cheeseburger.

The waiter says, "Would you like fries with that, sir?"

Rene Descartes replies, "I think not," and ceases to exist.

Hey Descartes, I bet I can beat you in a footrace!

I think not! Descartes replies.

And poof!

He instantly disappears.

Renee Descartes walks into a bar

Bartender: would you like a drink?
Descartes: I think not!
Descartes then vanishes from existence.

A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

He finished it, and the bartender asks if he wants another one. The horse replies I think not and disappears.

This joke is normally told with Rene Descartes as the subject, but to tell you that one first is to put Descartes before the horse.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender is a horse.

He says, "Oh, hey Rene, you want the usual?". Rene says "Yeah sure. Why the long face?". The horse and bar disappear because they were never, in fact, real and the only thing that definitely did exist was Rene.

You see it's a joke about Rene Descartes, but if I told you that at the beginning I would be putting Descartes before De Horse

Renes Descartes goes into a bar

The barkeeper asks him: "You want a beer?"

Descartes agrees and after that he drinks many more.

Later when he is quite drunk he grabs his keys and moves towards his car.

The barkeeper stops him from entering the car and asks him: "Do you really think, driving your state is a good idea?"

Descartes replies: "Yeah, you're right. I don't think..." and abruptly stops existing.

This is some very old university graffitti that's probably forgotten by now, so I'm posting it

Descartes: to be is to do

Nietzsche: to do is to be

Sinatra: do be do be do

A horse walks into a bar...

... and orders a pint. The bartender then says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse responds "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence.



See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy: "I think, therefore I am." But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, " you're in here alot, are you an alcoholic?"

The horse ponders for a moment and responds " I don't think I am" and poof he disappears.

This is where philosophy students begin to snicker because they are familiar with Descartes postulate,
" I think therefore I am."

But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

"I heard you really like philosophy."

"Yea I love it so much."

"Really? Even more than sex?"

"Oh of course not."

"Really? Why?"

"Because that would be putting Descartes before the whores."

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint

The bartender says You know, you're in here pretty often, do you think you might be an alcoholic?
The horse says I don't think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence.

See this was a joke about Descarte's famous philosophy line I think therefore I am but if I had explained that before the rest of the joke I would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Last summer I traveled to Paris with a buddy of mine. I suggested we could visit one of the famous parisian brothels, but he decided to spend the evening reading his philosophy books.

He really put Descartes before the whores.

A horse walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a triple whisky."

The bartender says to the horse, Are you an alcoholic?

The horse replies, I don't think I am. The horse promptly vanishes into thin air.

Now, that joke was a play on the classic proposition Cogito ergo sum , or I think, therefore I am. If this was to be explained at the start of the joke though, it wouldn't work. It would be putting Descartes before the horse.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the descartes decartes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working descartes aristotle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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