Derivative Jokes

67 derivative jokes and hilarious derivative puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about derivative that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Derivative Short Jokes

Short derivative jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The derivative humour may include short integral calculus jokes also.

  1. f(x) walks into a bar The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't cater for functions".
    f'(x) walks into a bar... Wait, isn't this the same joke? No, it's derivative humour.
  2. Got pulled over while doing calculus in my car last night Cop said I was deriving over the limit.
  3. TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me
  4. I failed Calculus when we reached differentials... I guess I should have known my limits. I could barely derive anything from what the teacher taught us.
  5. My teacher took off points when I spilled my juice on my Calculus homework... ... Apparently, I shouldn't drink and derive.
  6. What law do most mathematicians break? ...They drink and derive.
    *Baddum tss*
    Thank you, thank you! I'll see myself out.
  7. Hey babe, can I be your first derivative? Because I want to lie tangent to your curves...
  8. A group of people were hospitalised after a calculus midterm. The cops said they were drinking and deriving.
  9. Never drink and derive You'll integrate something you don't need.
  10. To not go off on a tangent simply stay on the derivative.

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Derivative One Liners

Which derivative one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with derivative? I can suggest the ones about tangent and differentiate.

  1. What's the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime
  2. Why didn't the derivative of sec(x) go to the beach? Because secant tan.
  3. Why was the alcoholic mathematician arrested by the police? Drinking and deriving
  4. Remember alcohol and calculus dont mix So don't drink and derive
  5. Man I really hate calculus. It just derives me crazy
  6. Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.
  7. Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves
  8. Alcohol and calculus don't go together very well. Don't drink and derive.
  9. Girl, can I be your derivative? Because I want to lay on your curves at one point.
  10. Why didn't the mathematician drink at the party? Because you can't drink and derive.
  11. Our school should start a calculus club We would all derive fun from it
  12. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Don't drink and derive.
  13. How does a mathematician get to work? He derives!
  14. Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine? He knew better than to drink and derive.
  15. Why was the mathematician arrested at the bar? He was caught drinking and deriving.

Calculus Derivative Jokes

Here is a list of funny calculus derivative jokes and even better calculus derivative puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the calculus students get arrested? For drinking and deriving.
  • I'm tired of people ripping on calculus all the time. It derives me crazy.
  • You shouldn't take calculus after alcohol It's irresponsible to drink and derive
  • I suppose we should have seen the Newton-Leibniz conflict coming. Calculus has always been derivative
  • Why don't calculus teachers go to bars? Because they don't want to drink and derive.
  • A pub near my house has a calculus trivia night They want their patrons to drink and derive
  • What did the calculus professor say when he saw his students at the bar? Don't drink and derive.
  • Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties? # Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?
    Because you should never drink and derive.
  • A calculus professor enters a bar, and is arrested an hour later... Apparently he was drinking and deriving
  • A completely new joke about calculus. Never mind, actually it's just derivative.
Derivative joke, A completely new joke about calculus.

Uproarious Derivative Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about derivative you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rate of change jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make derivative pranks.

Two functions walk down the street

Two functions walk down the street, 5 and e^x. They see Derivative walking towards them. 5 freaks out, screaming Oh no! Oh no! Derivative is going to come up and operate on me, and then I'll be zero - Oh no!! e^x smugly walks up to Derivative and says, Ha! I'm e^x. You can operate on me all you want and I'll still be e^x. You can't touch me. Derivative looks up, raises an eyebrow, and responds, Oh yeah? I'm partial, with respect to Y.

Did you hear about the albino clairvoyant master hypnotist from San Francisco?

He was a super pallid Cali mystic, expert at hypnosis.
(Today I had wanted to tell someone the Gandhi joke I read on here the other day, but I couldn't remember it so I made this up and thought I may as well share it even though it's purely derivative.)

The word politics is derived from two words

The word poly meaning many and the word ticks meaning blood s**... parasite.

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics"

It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood s**... parasite.

A math teacher went to school drunk...

He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson?
Don't drink and derive

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."
"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"
"Whats that?"
"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine...
It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you. Take your time.."

A Calculus student is stuck in traffic...

After waiting 20 minutes with little movement, he decides to catch up on his homework. 5 Minutes in, he feels thirsty and realizes he has an unopened bottle of Coke in his backpack. He takes it out and opens it. However, as soon as he takes his first sip, a nearby police car start flashing it's lights and orders him to pull over to the side. When the cop reaches his car, the student asks:
"What am I being stopped for?"
The cop answers:
"Drinking and deriving."

Why are you not allowed to do calculus intoxicated?

It's i**... to drink and derive.

The problem with math jokes

Calculus jokes are derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too formulaic but arithmetic jokes are just basic.
The outlier is the occasional statistics pun.

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.
Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on a new formula..."
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." says the barman, "I can't let you drink and derive".

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

The meaning of "politics"

The word "politics" derives from the Greek "poly-", meaning "many", and "ticks", meaning "blood-s**... parasites".

"Cell" and its derivatives (Cellular, Cellulose, Cellulite, etc.) are the only English words where the C is pronounced like an S.

At least, I'm pretty certain.

Derivative joke, I suppose we should have seen the Newton-Leibniz conflict coming.

jokes about derivative