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Derby Jokes

28 derby jokes and hilarious derby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about derby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out our collection of hilarious jokes about the Kentucky Derby, Pinewood Derby, Roller Derby, Demolition Derby, Manchester Derby, Derby County, Derby Football and more! These funny jokes about the famous race, jockey, Edison, and automobiles will have everyone laughing!

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Funniest Derby Short Jokes

Short derby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The derby humour may include short duel jokes also.

  1. Kentucky Derby Watching the kentucky derby for the first time, I was surprised it was only a single race rather than a full event, but then again, they only want one race in Kentucky.
  2. What do the Kentucky Derby and a wedding have in common? They both have months of build up for 2 minutes of action.
  3. They call the Kentucky Derby the fastest two minutes in sports... But they clearly haven't seen me start, then quit, a 5K.
  4. I hate to beat a dead horse, but If I've got enough money in the Kentucky Derby, you better believe I'll do what's necessary
  5. In honor of the Kentucky Derby: Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
  6. How do you know a blind man that goes to the Kentucky derby isn't racist? He doesn't see race
  7. Quagmire gay joke You know what the difference is between the NBA playoffs and Kentucky Derby? Giggity.....two extra legs.
  8. "Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!" "Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."
  9. Q: What do you call it when an honest politician rides a unicorn to victory in the Kentucky Derby? A: A Fairy Tale, there is no such thing as an honest politician
  10. What sound does a pinewood derby car make when you rev it? Wooooooden Woooooooden Woooooden!

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Derby One Liners

Which derby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with derby? I can suggest the ones about raid and darts.

  1. So I saw Amy Schumer perform live... The Kentucky Derby really is magical!
  2. Are you guys watching the Kentucky Derby? Yay or neigh?
  3. Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby? He was accused of wreckless driving.
  4. What do you call the worst destruction derby car racer? Wreckless
  5. My friend stole a soapbox derby car... It's all downhill from there.
  6. Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
  7. Why didn't a horse win the Kentucky Derby Because it was won by a hare.
  8. What do you call the horse that comes in last at The Kentucky Derby? Kentucky jerky
  9. Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle? They like horsin' around.
  10. Chuck Norris was at the Homerun Derby He pitched a no hitter!
  11. What do you get when you enter a cow into the Kentucky Derby? Milk and Bookies.

Kentucky Derby Jokes

Here is a list of funny kentucky derby jokes and even better kentucky derby puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Tickets to the Kentucky derby are 1100$ If I wanted to spend 1100$ for two minutes of action, I'd hire a p**....
  • My s**... life (Dirty) My s**... life is like the Kentucky Derby, four hours of foreplay, and only 90 seconds of real action
Derby joke, My s**... life (Dirty)

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about derby can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of derby puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Heartwarming Derby Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about derby you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean rider jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make derby prank.

It's the Merseyside Derby and Anfield is full to bursting

A Liverpool fan sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty.
He turns to the man in the next seat and says 'I can't believe there's an empty seat on derby day'. The man replies 'This seat belonged to my wife, she died last week. She never missed a game'
The Liverpool fan says 'Oh I'm sorry for your loss, don't you have a friend or relative who could use her ticket?'. The man replies 'No. They're all at the f**...'

Derby winner Medina Spirit turned down an invite to Mira Lago...

...saying if he wanted to see a horse's a**... he would have come in second.

My wife and I got married on the same day as the Kentucky Derby. I remember it because I was considering betting my life's savings on this one Filly.

...
I also considered putting money on the derby.

Favourite football/soccer teams

What's an arthroplasty surgeon's favourite football team? Ipswich Town
What's a jockey's favourite football team? Derby
What's a detective's favourite football team? Leads United
What's a fossil's favourite football team? S'underland
What's a stale meat's favourite football team? Oldham
What's a fit, balding person's favourite football team? Wigan Athletic
What's a pirate's favourite football team? Loot-on (Luton) Town

Derby joke, What do you call the worst destruction derby car racer?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these derby jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.