The Best 19 Der Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Der jokes. There are some der macht jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these der sie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Der Jokes and Puns

An Ole and Lena joke

Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."

Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."

Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."

Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?"

Lena: "In da lake."

As a chemist, i'm not very good at the guitar...

...anyway, here's van der Waal

There were three sisters

One named Lilly, one named Rose, and the other named Cinderblock. One day Lilly went to their mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Lilly?"

"Well, when you were a baby, a lilly petal fell on your head," mother replied.

So then Rose went to her mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Rose?"

"Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head," mother replied.

So then Cinderblock went to her mother and asked, "der der duh der duh"

A Comparison of the Different Languages

**French**: This chair is feminine. "La Chaise"

**Italian**: This chair is feminine! "La Sedia"

**German**: This chair is masculine. "Der Stuhl"

**English**: This chair is an object, I don't see how it has a gender.

**Japanese**: If you don't pronounce chair exactly right, you'll end up calling your mother a pair of rotten testicles instead.

What do chemists say when they wanna play a song at guitar?

"Anyway, here's van der Waal."


Science joke

What song does a gas molecule sing when it is attracted to another gas molecule?

"Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my Van Der Waal"

What kind of calculus do frogs use?

Der - ribbit - tives

I'm a chemist and I can play the guitar

Anyway, here's Van der Waal

[A non-anti-semitic Jewish Joke]: In 1939, a Jewish man walked past a cafe in Berlin and saw a fellow Jew sitting outside reading Der StΓΌrmer.

The passerby was shocked.

"How can you read such horrible stuff?" he wanted to know.

"All the other papers," the man quietly explained, "are filled with Jewish tragedy. But in *this* paper, it's just the opposite. It says we Jews control absolutely everything. I find it rather reassuring!"

Why did Mr. T reject Marxism?

Because Marx said "You have nothing to lose but your chains."

*^(Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei - 1848)*

Did you hear Oasis's new song about the attraction and repulsion of atoms?

"And after all, you're my Van der Waals"

You can explore der von reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean der hav dad jokes. There are also der puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes?

Vans of der Waals

What's an antonym for under?

der

What does the douchey atom play on guitar?

And after aaaaaall,

You're my Van der Waaaaal.

What did the witch say when Gretel pushed her into the oven?

"eyner muzn zeyn der ershter."

What is Donald trump's favorite chemical process?

When two molecules bind temporarily because of random polarization
Oh f*k it it's van der walls forces

Staying Positive

Who needs anti depressants when you have a Van Der Graaf Generator

Whats the opposite of under?

Der.

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?
Eish-Yes. What you want?
I'm calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.
Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society suh
The next day, the Police descends on Hendrik's house. They search the braai lapa (BBQ area) where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they chop open every piece of wood, but find no dagga (Cannabis) . They shout and swear at Hendrik and leave.
The phone rings at Hendrik's house.
Hey, Hendrik! Did the Police come?
Ja! (Yes!)
Did they chop your firewood for the braai (BBQ) tonight?
Ja… (Yes...)
Happy birthday my friend!


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the der mann jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working der gersput piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes