Deputy Jokes
18 deputy jokes and hilarious deputy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deputy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh along with our jokes about deputies and assistant sheriffs. These jokes about commissars make light of the hard work and dedication that goes into being a deputy sheriff.
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Funniest Deputy Short Jokes
Short deputy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deputy humour may include short sheriff jokes also.
- How many deputies did it take to push the inmate down the stairs? None, he fell.
I work as a Detention Deputy, and that's one of my favorite jokes to tell the inmates. - Deputies Tahoma and Arial push open the swinging doors saunter into the bar, and the barkeep looks up and says, "You two better Vamoose!" "There's a new Serif in town."
- Sinn Féin deputy Martin McGuinness has resigned over a failed community heating scheme... Funny, I'd have thought that would have gone down like a bomb.
- What did the type setter sing while he worked? I shot the seriff, but I did not shoot the deputy!
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Deputy One Liners
Which deputy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deputy? I can suggest the ones about supervisor and secretary.
- What did the deputy find in the sheriff's toilet? The police log
- How does FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe get home when he's lost? Fusion GPS
- Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
- What did the Deputy Prime Minister of Poland say to the lamp? Hello? Is this thing on?
Uplifting Deputy Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about deputy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean officer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deputy pranks.
Police dog
One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Her: I want to be safe so you have to wear a c**...
Him: Don't worry, I'm a Broward County Sheriff Deputy so there's no chance I'll come inside.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two inmates were caught having s**... and the deputy jailer was furious.
The lawyer representing the inmates told the jailer
"Why can't you let bi-cons be bi-cons and move on"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We truly are living in an alternate timeline.
I was sure the Deputy District Attorney's name was Rod Rosen**stain**.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man looking to join the Texas sheriffs is being interviewed for the job
The deputy doing the interview says, "Well all of your referrences check out and your qualifications are good. The only thing left is to see how you do on the attitude test."
The deputy slides a service p**... and a box of ammo across the desk. "Take this and go shoot 6 i**... Mexicans, 6 black guys, 6 Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."
The guy asks, "Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude!", says the deputy. "When can you start?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Texas Sheriffs Deputy Exam
A man in Texas looking to join the Frio County Sheriffs Dept. was being interviewed. The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications look good, but there's an attitude suitability test you must pass before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a Smith and Wesson 45 p**... across the desk, he says to the man, "Take this p**...; go out and shoot six i**... aliens, six m**... dealers, six Muslim extremists, six 'Progressive Liberal' democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" the man asked.
"That's the attitude we're looking for." said the Sergeant, "When can you start?"
Three women break out of prison...
..a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They hear the marshal and his men coming so they duck into a near by potato barn. They find three potato sacks and jump in covering themselves from head to toe.
The marshal sends his deputy into the potato barn to check it out. The deputy see's the three sacks looking out of place, so he steps up to the sack with the redhead and kicks it.
"Woof." says the redhead.
"Just a dog in there." says the not to bright deputy. He kicks the sack with the brunette.
"Meow." purrs the brunette.
"Just a cat." says the deputy. He kicks the sack with the blonde in it.
Nothing happens. He gives it another kick.
"Potato" says the blonde.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Irishman are running from the sheriff...
They turn a corner and see three large empty sacks. Quickly, they each hide inside one.
The sheriff and his deputy turn the corner and see the three sacks on the ground. The sheriff dismounts and kicks the first sack.
"Meow," says the Englishman.
"It's just a cat," the sheriff says and kicks the second bag
"Woof," says the Scotsmen.
"It's just a dog," the sheriff says and finally kicks the last bag.
The Irishman says "potatoes."
