Depth Jokes
54 depth jokes and hilarious depth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about depth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you prepared for the depths of humor? Get ready for a collection of jokes based on depth perception and density with a beaker full of the deepest and funniest jokes around!
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Funniest Depth Short Jokes
Short depth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The depth humour may include short level jokes also.
- Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth ... but then they realized No Man's sky was invented already.
- "Leagues" in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" refers to horizontal distance, not depth. Otherwise it would be called "Journey to the Center of the Earth."
- Why did they put Patrick Henry in a submarine? Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".
- Did you hear about the statistician that drowned? Apparently he tried crossing a river with an average depth of 4 feet.
- There's something wrong with my sense of touch and depth perception... But I just can't put my finger on it.
- It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... and then it's fun and games with no depth perception."
- I have such dirty thoughts when it comes to submarines Every night my mind sinks to new depths
- Depth perception jokes are always near misses. It's like I never see the punchline until it is too late.
- How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies don't have the motor skills or the depth perception to change a light bulb.
- Theres a couple guys at a drinking party.. And they all start an in depth discussion on inkblot drawings
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Depth One Liners
Which depth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with depth? I can suggest the ones about height and dimension.
- If a pizza has a radius "z" and a depth "a" Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a
- Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.
- Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl? He lacked depth perception.
- What kind of rock music do they listen to in Atlantis? Depth metal 🤘🧜♀️🤘
- What do you call a fish that lives in the greatest depths of the ocean? Mega-low-don.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- Why did the one-eyed pirate run his ship aground? He didn't have any depth perception
- Why is anti-submarine warfare so expensive? Because of the depth charges.
- What do you call an actor that scuba dives? Johnny Depth
- Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground? No depth perception.
- Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown? Because he had no depth perception.
- I enjoy talking with aquatic pools They offer in-depth conversations
- I told my friend he had bad depth perception He said he'd look into it
- I couldn't imagine measuring the depths of water... That sounds unfathomable.
- Why couldn't the one-eyed scuba diver gauge how far he dove? He had no depth perception
Depth Perception Jokes
Here is a list of funny depth perception jokes and even better depth perception puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between an a**... kisser and a brown noser? Depth perception.
- Do you know what the difference between a b**... kisser and a brown noser is? Depth perception
- Always choose a one eyed girl for a rebound Her depth perception is s**....
Depth Charge Jokes
Here is a list of funny depth charge jokes and even better depth charge puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- h**... and friends decide to have a game to see who can put the most depth charges in the sea It's a Mine Kampfetition!
Witty Depth Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about depth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean deep jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make depth pranks.
DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you m**...!"
How to get rich
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
3 blondes were standing around some tracks.
The first blonde said "look at these tracks! Do you think they're deer tracks?"
The second blonde shook her head "no, there are no hoof prints. If anything these are dog tracks".
The third blonde chuckled, "come on you two. Look at the even spacing, the consistent depth, the distance between the tracks - it's obvious they're bear tracks!"
The other two blondes looked at the third in admiration of her excellent knowledge of nature, and then all 3 were hit by a train.
My in depth research says that 73% people are good at maths
The rest 37% are d**... though
An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.
They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.
"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist.
"Look, buddy, I have no idea what *we* are gonna do, but what *I'm* gonna do is move that hole 5 inches to the left on the blueprint."
Diving
One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he was not wearing a scuba gear.
The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later.
The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.
This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the h**... are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"
The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING s**...".
Last week I submitted a ten page in depth technical description of my groundbreaking invention to a prestigious journal... but it didn't get published.
They said I should just call a s**... a s**....
A U-Boat is hit by a depth charge...
...the Kapitan gets to the radio and yells 'Commandant, Commandant!!! Ve are sinking.'
The radio is silent for a few seconds and finally the Kapitan hears a voice break through the static. 'Vhat are you sinking about?'
One day a man says to his wife
"Our relationship lacks depth. Tell me something that makes me feel both happy and sad."
So the wife thinks and finally responds, "Of all your friends, yours is the biggest."
Did you hear the one about the statistician who drowned while wading across a river whose average depth was three feet?
Extreme diving is the latest sports craze for adrenaline junkies
Many of them are saying it's really *depth* defying.
I just read Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
It sure is a story with a lot of depth.
