The Best 35 Depth Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Depth jokes. There are some depth iqs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these depth bottomless puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Depth Jokes and Puns

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Babies don't have the motor skills or the depth perception to change a light bulb.

A U-Boat is hit by a depth charge...

...the Kapitan gets to the radio and yells 'Commandant, Commandant!!! Ve are sinking.'
The radio is silent for a few seconds and finally the Kapitan hears a voice break through the static. 'Vhat are you sinking about?'

Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

How to get rich

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Did you hear the one about the statistician who drowned while wading across a river whose average depth was three feet?


Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground?

No depth perception.

If a pizza has a radius "z" and a depth "a"

Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a

Depth joke, If a pizza has a radius "z" and a depth "a"

Why did the one-eyed pirate run his ship aground?

He didn't have any depth perception

I just read Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

It sure is a story with a lot of depth.

Theres a couple guys at a drinking party..

And they all start an in depth discussion on inkblot drawings

Did you hear about the statistician that drowned?

Apparently he tried crossing a river with an average depth of 4 feet.

You can explore depth deepest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean depth deeper dad jokes. There are also depth puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth

... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye...

and then it's fun and games with no depth perception."

What do you call an actor that scuba dives?

Johnny Depth

DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Punch areas and punch volumes have more depth.

Depth joke, Punch lines are extremely one-dimensional

Always choose a one eyed girl for a rebound

Her depth perception is screwed.

Depth perception jokes are always near misses.

It's like I never see the punchline until it is too late.

I told my friend he had bad depth perception

He said he'd look into it


Why did they put Patrick Henry in a submarine?

Because he said "Give me liberty or give me depth".

Why is anti-submarine warfare so expensive?

Because of the depth charges.

One day a man says to his wife

"Our relationship lacks depth. Tell me something that makes me feel both happy and sad."

So the wife thinks and finally responds, "Of all your friends, yours is the biggest."

Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl?

He lacked depth perception.

Extreme diving is the latest sports craze for adrenaline junkies

Many of them are saying it's really *depth* defying.

Why couldn't the one-eyed scuba diver gauge how far he dove?

He had no depth perception

Hitler and friends decide to have a game to see who can put the most depth charges in the sea

It's a Mine Kampfetition!

Depth joke, Hitler and friends decide to have a game to see who can put the most depth charges in the sea

There's something wrong with my sense of touch and depth perception...

But I just can't put my finger on it.

Do you know what the difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is?

Depth perception

"Leagues" in "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" refers to horizontal distance, not depth.

Otherwise it would be called "Journey to the Center of the Earth."

What's the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser?

Depth perception.

An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.

They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.

"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist.

"Look, buddy, I have no idea what *we* are gonna do, but what *I'm* gonna do is move that hole 5 inches to the left on the blueprint."

3 blondes were standing around some tracks.

The first blonde said "look at these tracks! Do you think they're deer tracks?"

The second blonde shook her head "no, there are no hoof prints. If anything these are dog tracks".

The third blonde chuckled, "come on you two. Look at the even spacing, the consistent depth, the distance between the tracks - it's obvious they're bear tracks!"

The other two blondes looked at the third in admiration of her excellent knowledge of nature, and then all 3 were hit by a train.

What kind of rock music do they listen to in Atlantis?

Depth metal 🤘🧜‍♀️🤘

Last week I submitted a ten page in depth technical description of my groundbreaking invention to a prestigious journal... but it didn't get published.

They said I should just call a spade a spade.

Diving

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he was not wearing a scuba gear.

The diver went below another 20 ft but the guy joined him a few minutes later.

The diver went below 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the hell are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING STUPID".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the depth extent jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working depth diver piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes