Depressing Jokes

Funniest Depressing Short Jokes

Short depressing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The depressing humour may include short depressive jokes also.

1. If you're depressed, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
2. I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
   They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
3. My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore.
4. Why are New Yorkers always so depressed? Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?
   A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
5. What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking? Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.
6. I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.
7. Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.
8. Why is everyone in New York depressed? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
9. Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity? It's a sad state of affairs.
   Cr
10. Every time I put my key in the ignition, a light comes on that says, "depress clutch to start." So I lean down and tell the clutch, "Everybody likes brake and accelerater better than you."

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Depressing One Liners

Which depressing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with depressing? I can suggest the ones about depressed person and frustrating.

1. Denial, anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Saturday, Sunday
2. What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace? Melancolleague(s)
3. Ohio is stealing my life story A series of train wrecks in an already depressed area
4. A depressed Storm Trooper goes to the bar for some jager shots. He goes home sober.
5. Why was kurt cobain depressed at 13? Midlife Crisis.
6. What's the best way to overcome depression? Love it, so it leaves you as well.
7. I was going to make a depressed joke But my parents already did.
8. I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
9. What do you call 2 depressed bears? bipolar
10. Name a popular state that most people live in. Depression
11. What did Odysseus say to the depressed Cyclops? Nobody cares.
12. My dentist told me to open up.... so I started telling him how depressed I was.
13. If you think Thursdays are depressed, wait for two more days.... It will be a sadder day.
14. The cure for my depression is right around the corner. Yes, here comes my train now.
15. What does a socially awkward and depressed frog say? Reddit.!

Good Depressing Jokes

Here is a list of funny good depressing jokes and even better good depressing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife's cooking is pretty good, but it makes me sad when she uses so much spice. I'm starting to think I have seasonal depression.
• The depressing thing about tennis is I will never be as good as a wall.
• I started a project to hire people with depression on my dairy farm... if there's one thing they're good at its milking it.
• Why was the kid with chronically depressed parents always in such a good mood? Because two negatives make a positive.
• When I was a teenager, I used to flush my anti-depressants down the toilet. Not good for my my mental health, but the Dog was never happier.
• Why do English teachers never get depressed? Why do English teachers never get depressed?
  They're really good at finding meaning where none exists.
• The depressing thing about squash tennis is that, no matter how good I get, I"ll never be as good as a wall.
• A coin collector was depressed... He hadn't had a good quarter in ages.
• A friend suggested I try CBT for my depression... ...turns out a good kick in the nuts was exactly what I needed.
• What did the depressed cherry say to the grape? "Give me one good raisin for living?"

Bad Depressing Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad depressing jokes and even better bad depressing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I once met a drummer who's timing was so bad, he began to get depressed... Eventually, he threw himself behind a train.
• You wouldn't wish depression on your worst enemy Or would you. If they are your worst enemy depression ain't that bad of a wish
• Why is Joker depressed? Cause he fells bad man❗️
• Why couldn't the depressed person get his email? He had a bad Outlook.

Super Depressing Jokes

Here is a list of funny super depressing jokes and even better super depressing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the doctor to get my blood type when I was super depressed? He said B Positive

Uplifting Depressing Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about depressing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean oppressive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make depressing pranks.