Depressed Jokes

Funniest Depressed Short Jokes

Short depressed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The depressed humour may include short depressive jokes also.

1. If you're depressed, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
2. I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line... Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.
   They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
3. My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore.
4. Why are New Yorkers always so depressed? Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?
   A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
5. What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking? Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.
6. If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water, before you go to bed. That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
7. Why are people from New York always depressed. Because the light at the end of the tunnel is always Jersey.
8. I wanted to build my career on making chemistry jokes to cure my depression. Then I realized alcohol is a solution.
9. Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.
10. Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed I'm sure they'll soon get over it

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Depressed One Liners

Which depressed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with depressed? I can suggest the ones about dejected and bad depressing.

1. Denial, anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Saturday, Sunday
2. What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace? Melancolleague(s)
3. Ohio is stealing my life story A series of train wrecks in an already depressed area
4. A depressed Storm Trooper goes to the bar for some jager shots. He goes home sober.
5. Why was kurt cobain depressed at 13? Midlife Crisis.
6. What's the best way to overcome depression? Love it, so it leaves you as well.
7. I was going to make a depressed joke But my parents already did.
8. I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
9. What do you call 2 depressed bears? bipolar
10. Name a popular state that most people live in. Depression
11. What's big, Scottish, and depressing? Scotland.
12. What did Odysseus say to the depressed Cyclops? Nobody cares.
13. My dentist told me to open up.... so I started telling him how depressed I was.
14. Did you hear about the depressed French chef? He'd lost the huile d'olive.
15. If you think Thursdays are depressed, wait for two more days.... It will be a sadder day.

Depressed Person Jokes

Here is a list of funny depressed person jokes and even better depressed person puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb? 5 days. & I'm pretty proud of myself.
• What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
• The Glass Happy person: The glass is half full
  Depressed person: The glass is half empty
  The Engineer: The glass is twice as big as necessary.
• How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope…
• How does a depressed person view life? There are sad days, and also Saturdays...
• What's a Depressed persons favorite drink? A Depresso Espresso
  Jk it's cyanide
• My Sister recently started dating a depressed German airline pilot She says his personality is really down to earth.
• I made a portrait of a depressed person and gifted it to them. They hanged it too.
• What is the first thing a depressed person does when they wake up? Their mourning routine. :-(
• What do you call a public official with depression? a person in a zolofty position

Depressed Kid Jokes

Here is a list of funny depressed kid jokes and even better depressed kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend just came to me all depressed because his kid's failing 3rd grade, and he doesn't know how to break it to him. Apparently slowly wasn't the advice he was looking for.
• Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.
• What do you call a Emo kid in Hawaii? A Tropical Depression
• (Dark) What do you call depressed American kids? Shooting stars
• There's a kid about to jump off a cliff. His dad walks up and asks why he's going to jump. The kid says, I'm depressed and I hate your dad jokes. Hi depressed...
• Why was the 1 year old African kid depressed? He was facing a mid-life crisis
• I have a great joke about depression, wanna hear it? *sigh* Who am I kidding?
  
  You'll hate it anyways.
• What fell to the floor first ... The depressed kid or a leaf??? The leaf cause the boy was left hanging
• Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he's just depressed. He's trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.
• My brother is terribly sick, so we are collecting 7000$..... So that I can travel across the country. Too depressing living with that sick kid

Depressed Emo Jokes

Here is a list of funny depressed emo jokes and even better depressed emo puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas? Tropical depressions.
• What do you call a depressed gang member? An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son
• Q: How do you kill an emo?
  A: You don't you let depression do the work.
• What do you call a group of Emos? An Isobar (They are linked by their depression)

Entertaining Depressed Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about depressed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saddened jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make depressed pranks.