Following is our collection of Deposit jokes which are very funny. There are some deposit tellers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these deposit collateral puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
but it turns out my bank doesn't accept that kind of deposit.
When you deposit into a sperm bank you lose interest.
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To the river bank!
At the AT-ATM.
She really hates it when I call her that though.
A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some asshole's got my pen."
The teller asked, "what are you doing?"
I said, "I wish to open a joint account!"
A snowbank
A doctor walks into a bank to make a deposit. When he goes to sign the check, he realizes he's scribbling with a thermometer.
"Oh, that's great," he says. "Some asshole's got my pen!"
The bank is very full so it takes a long time for it to be his turn.
After an hour wait he finally gets to go up to the counter. The woman asks him how she could assist him.
He looks around, making sure he cant be heard and whispers into her ear "I would like to deposit $1 million into a bank account"
The woman looks a bit startled and says out loud "oh dont worry sir! You dont have to whisper, here in Switzerland its no shame to be poor."
You can explore deposit substantial reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean deposit payment dad jokes. There are also deposit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
River banks
He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"
The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."
...you make a deposit, withdrawal, then lose interest.
The teller asks the foreigner: "Would you like to make a deposit?"
The foreign man replies: "Yes I would."
The teller: "How much would you like to deposit?"
The man leans in and whispers: "Three million dollars..."
The teller: "Oh you can speak up. Being poor is no reason to be ashamed in Switzerland."
People deposit their feelings to save, but usually gain very little interest.
...now I live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Erect deposit.
It's where he makes his deposit
Source: slightly drunk grandfather
Neither of them want to give you your deposit back.
...... became concerned when the Army insisted that he sign up for direct deposit.
"It's not going to work for me," he said, panicked.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I use my Guard pay for spending money."
"So?"
"For the past ten years, I've been telling my wife that I serve for free!"
Unless its a Joint Account.
...I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
A Creampie
Because they said they would pay the profit per annum.
First you make a deposit.
Then you make a withdrawal.
Then you lose interest.
I said
"Wait, people wanted to put money in my bank account and you stopped them?!"
The teller starts flipping through the cash, and realizes it's counterfeited. When she tells the prostitute, the response is "That can't be true. Please look over it again"
"Sorry ma'am, this really *is* counterfeit money"
The prostitute takes a step back and says "Oh my, I've been *raped*!"
Into their Czeching account
A savings bank you make a deposit and gain interest, a sperm bank you make a deposit and lose interest.
De-pos-it.
...after years of hard work and commitment, I'm living direct deposit to direct deposit.
A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to sign a deposit slip, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"
Her shavings account
Not getting your deposit back.
This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever
You either make a deposit or withdraw.
Turns out that sperm is only collected from our clients and they don't like when I ask if they're here to make a withdrawal or deposit.
They say he could only deposit.
You make a deposit, it multiples over and over again.. eventually you make a withdrawal and then you end up broke.
He found remains of some primitive musical instrument and a small deposit of fossilized excrement. when asked about what they signified,
Fred Flintstein replied: "A dab o' ABBA doo."
The pigeon can still put a deposit on a new Mercedes.
Remember that a small deposit turns into a long term investment, and sometimes a liability for life.
The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
but they won't let you do the same thing with a picture of cash?
I went to Bank to deposit a check, and they asked me for ID. I said, Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you're telling them no?
The Ghost Office!
I said, Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you're telling them no?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the deposit cheque jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working deposit withdrawal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.