Dependent Jokes

Following is our collection of newer puns and eggnogstic one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dependent jokes for adults, dirty reliant jokes and clean dependency dad gags for kids.

The Best Dependent Puns

A husband and wife...

Were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

My grandpa told me, "You millennials are too dependent on technology...

.. so I plugged out his life support

The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors:

1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is

My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology...

...Yet he is the one hooked to life support.

A man and his wife was sitting in the living room

Husband:Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.


What do you call a clingy, moody scientist?

A dependent variable

The right to die

A man and his wife are sitting in the living room, and he says to her: "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.

I told my grand kids that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle...

So they unplugged my computer and threw out my bourbon..

Bakeries are very dependent on money

They knead the dough.

That name to call an alcoholic Santa?

A dependent Claus.

An English Joke

What happens to Santa when he gets addicted to heroin?

He becomes a dependent clause


An old man said to his grandson playing on a tablet...You younger generation are too dependent on technology.

His grandson said...Which one of us needs a pacemaker to live?

How many people with ASD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

That's entirely dependent on the situation.

I can't go anywhere without my hot chocolate.

I'm cocoa dependent.

Four Original Math/Science Jokes

1. Yo momma's so mean her Z-score is zero!

2. What do you do with a high concentration bomb?
You diffuse it.

3. Why was X mad at the IRS?
He couldn't list Y as his dependent

4. Why did the students do well on the hard calc test?
Because the grade was on a curve

Your mom is so fat

When she was applying for Health Insurance she had to claim herself as a dependent.

What are little rats called

Dependent on how the parents name them

All cats are Libertarians!

Completely dependent on others, but fully convinced of their own independence.

There is an abundance of independent jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes and dependent puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any massless witze you can hear about dependent.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes