Depend Jokes

Following is our collection of eden puns and belive one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Depend jokes for adults, dirty dependant jokes and clean dependent dad gags for kids.

The Best Depend Puns

What does a mumble rapper and a politician have in common?

both of their careers depend on incomprehensible bullshit

I told my wife "if ever I become comatose and depend on a machine for my survival, unplug me"

She unplugged the computer.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the price will depend on where you want to put it in.

Why can you always depend on Anti-Gravity?

Because it will never let you down.

Give him what he wants.

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom.



The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."



"I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."


"You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..

i don't want to depend on any machine or any other fluids that are supposed to keep me alive". As i said that to her, she looked at me dearly, then she went on to confiscate my phone, laptop and flushed down the toilet all the beer i had.

My girlfriend said the number of kids we have will depend on the number of carats I get her in her wedding ring.

I says " I don't know how you're going to have half a kid!"

I wonder if the views of a color blind person depend on the circumstances of the scenario

Or if they just see the world in black and white.

Did you know that depending on their mood, people produce two different smelling types of sweat?

That's just my two scents on the topic

Depending on who you are determines what colors you see the dress as.

Chris Brown sees it as black and blue.

I am going to state my gender as 0รท0 on my job applications.

Because it will depend on how they approach me.


My grandpa said our generation of kids depend to much on tech...

I said "No, your generation depends too much on tech".

And I unplugged his life support.

"Come on everybody let's hit the polls like our lives depend on it!"

- Stormy Daniels

There is an abundance of gabriel jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes and depend puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any apostles witze you can hear about depend.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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