The Best 15 Depend Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Depend jokes. There are some depend belive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these depend dependent puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Depend Jokes and Puns

What does a mumble rapper and a politician have in common?

both of their careers depend on incomprehensible bullshit

I told my wife "if ever I become comatose and depend on a machine for my survival, unplug me"

She unplugged the computer.

My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology.

They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, no, your generation depends too much on technology.

Then I unplugged his life support.

Depend joke, My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the price will depend on where you want to put it in.

Why can you always depend on Anti-Gravity?

Because it will never let you down.


Give him what he wants.

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom.

The husband turned to his wife and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it's best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."

"I'm so relieved you feel that way," replies his wife, "because he told me he thinks you're really cute."

"You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..

i don't want to depend on any machine or any other fluids that are supposed to keep me alive". As i said that to her, she looked at me dearly, then she went on to confiscate my phone, laptop and flushed down the toilet all the beer i had.

Depend joke, "You know, honey, when i'm old and very ill, i don't want to live like a vegetable..

Everyone asks me why I eat like I got out of prison. I explain them that in a family with 5 siblings it's a race to the snacks like lives depend on it.

Also I've spent 9 years in prison.

My girlfriend said the number of kids we have will depend on the number of carats I get her in her wedding ring.

I says " I don't know how you're going to have half a kid!"

I wonder if the views of a color blind person depend on the circumstances of the scenario

Or if they just see the world in black and white.

Did you know that depending on their mood, people produce two different smelling types of sweat?

That's just my two scents on the topic

You can explore depend eden reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean depend dependant dad jokes. There are also depend puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Depending on who you are determines what colors you see the dress as.

Chris Brown sees it as black and blue.

"Come on everybody let's hit the polls like our lives depend on it!"

- Stormy Daniels

I am going to state my gender as 0Γ·0 on my job applications.

Because it will depend on how they approach me.

My grandpa said our generation of kids depend to much on tech...

I said "No, your generation depends too much on tech".

And I unplugged his life support.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the depend gabriel jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working depend apostles piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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