Departure Jokes
4 departure jokes and hilarious departure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about departure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical & Quirky Departure Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good departure joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A group of Soviet tourists takes express-lesson of Italian before departure.
-Write a couple of phrases in Italian - tour guide says - such as: ''How much does lemonade cost?'', ''Where is the pharmacy?''
One of the tourists asks:
-How do I say ''Please, provide me a political asylum''?
-What have you just said? - asks another tourist seriously.
-Nevermind, just wanted to know which one of you is our KGB senior for this trip.
Ticket Please
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
A woman with terminal sickness calls for her husband for a final talk.
"Hebert" *cough* "Everything is settled for my final departure, I just have one final thing to ask of you" *cough* "Should you ever find a new woman in your life please do not let her wear my clothes..."
Herbert: "Okay hun, I promise... she's not your size anyway..."
A plane is sitting at the terminal and is supposed to leave shortly
Departure seems to be taking ages, and the passengers are growing restless. Eventually a staff member says on the PA system:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay to your journey today. During preflight checks the pilot wasn't happy with the noise coming from the left engine, so we've had to delay departure until we can locate a new pilot."
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