Department Jokes
137 department jokes and hilarious department puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about department that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article provides a range of jokes related to departments found in any business, such as the fire, IT, finance, produce, emergency, meat, quality, parts, purchasing, and billing departments. Get ready to have a laugh over the unique challenges and activities that occur in each division of the company, and the humorous "affairs" of the CFO!
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Funniest Department Short Jokes
Short department jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The department humour may include short district jokes also.
- Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers? They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.
- This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
- What is the quietest place on Earth? The complaint department at a parachute packing company.
- I couldn't believe the highway department called my dad a thief. But when I got home, the signs were all there.
- Just saw that our local Police Department got 2 huge new trucks with "Criminal Gang Unit" labeled on the sides. Finally, some self awareness.
- The only day of the year that gives an order March 4th
Sorry this was one of my dear departed mother's favorite annual jokes. Just had to share the love! - The US Justice Department were hellbent on taking IKEA to court a few years ago. Unfortunately they had to walk away as they were having difficulties putting a case together.
- Someone blew up a department store because they didn't stock basic clothing... There were no casual tees.
- There's a new study out from the Department of Education... It shows that two thirds of Americans don't understand fractions and the other half don't care.
- An Englishman began procedures at the Immigration Department to move to Australia Immigration: "Do you have a criminal record?"
British guy: "Is that still necessary?"
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Department One Liners
Which department one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with department? I can suggest the ones about office and division.
- Shot my first turkey today. Scared everyone in the frozen meat department.
- Coffee maker in the IT department doesn't work Try reinstalling java.
- LG's new Bluetooth department is very progressive Everyone there is LGBT
- Where did Sauron go to take his driver's test? The Department of Mordor Vehicles
- I hired a bee to run my IT security department He makes really good honeypots
- What does a Karen say to the IT department? I'd like to speak to your task manager.
- I got fired from the unemployment department. They're still paying me though.
- Why do fire departments have dalmatians? To help the firemen find the hydrants
- What do you call the IT-department of Samsung? The Guardians of the Galaxy!
- The Department of Unfinished Statistics concluded... ... that 7 out of 10.
- Why is Pennywise good with computers? Because he works in the IT department.
- What did Dido say when Aeneas departed for Italy? Don't go. Aeneid you!
- Did you hear about the party at the English department? It was Lit af
- Whats the Slogan for every I.T. Department in America? "Mmmm. Move Over."
- Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
It Department Jokes
Here is a list of funny it department jokes and even better it department puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A girl I know who works in the X-ray department of a local hospital is dating one of her patients Nobody know what she sees in him
- The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge. They only have periodic tables.
- TIL The Kremlin IT department exclusively uses Linux. Turns out everyone in the Kremlin has problems with Windows.
- When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person.
- What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition? Financial Ayyyyyyd
I'll^see^myself^out - The employees play basketball or soccer Department directors play tennis. CEOs play golf!
The higher the position, the smaller the balls... - Have you ever heard of the ckicken plant? I guess the eggplant came first!
I work at a grocery store and a guy in the produce department told me this. He thought it was hilarious - Saw a guy in the power tool department at home depot who looked a lot like Elvis. Returned a sander.
- Why was Alan Turing fired from the department store? He was unable to compute whether or not any given top was a halter top.
- Being an HR, whenever I get a new batch of resumes, I always throw half of them in the garbage. I don't want unlucky people working in my department.
Department Store Jokes
Here is a list of funny department store jokes and even better department store puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Grocery store meat departments are starting drone delivery but customers think it's risky. Its a high-steaks situation
- In a department store, where is your beauty? Aisle of the beholder.
Lol I hate myself. - A man walked into the best department store he's ever seen and suddenly collapsed, spasming The doctor diagnosed it as a grand mall seizure.
- How do most rappers build a following? They go shopping at a department store.
- My wife went to the grand opening for a new department store without me...... I couldn't go with her so she called me and said it was a new low.
- A man was in a department store trying to decide between a step stool and a ladder... He chose the latter.
- A guy buys a cigarette and smokes inside the department store.. The Store lady:Sorry,sir you can't smoke here
Man:But I bought it here
Store lady:We sell condoms too - You know something's up If a department store rick rolls you (Chicos)
- WTC joke guy 1- Did you see there gonna be putting a department store on the top floors of the new World Trade Center?
guy 2- No I didn't what store are they putting up there?
guy 1- A Target - I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it.
Fire Department Jokes
Here is a list of funny fire department jokes and even better fire department puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the Mexican fire department name their hose? Hose A and Hose B.
- Before you fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water.
- on fire The chief of the fire department walks into the room where the other firemen wait and says: "Take it easy boys, the Tax Office is on fire."
- I once crashed my car into a fire department... The response was incredible
- Did you hear about the history professor who got fired just for passing out in a chair? If it had been the chair of any other department he'd probably still have a job
- When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
- My grandfather has Alzheimer's so bad that everytime he farts, he calls the fire department.
- My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.
- I almost got fired last month because the word got out that I was intolerant... I had to explain all about lactose to the Human Resource department.
- My buddy got fired from the road department He was accused of stealing traffic signals.
When the cops went to his house, all the signs were there.
Police Department Jokes
Here is a list of funny police department jokes and even better police department puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I didn't want to believe that my uncle had been stealing from the roads and traffic department ... ... but when the police raided his apartment, all the signs were there.
- What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common? Reclaiming black bodies.
- Why'd the police department hire a mathematician? They needed someone to count in fractions
- My local police department is running a dual campaign against dangerous driving and taking drugs. The signs read: SPEED KILLS
- All the toilet seats were recently stolen from the local police department They still have nothing to go on...
- Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor? "STOP RESISTING!!!"
- If you ever feeling worthless, just remember that Gotham City has a police department.
- I, for one, support my local police department All of those speeding tickets I've paid *must* be buying them some pretty good stuff.
- My town's public works department is so bad that police has trouble picking drunk drivers up Everybody is swerving around the potholes
- So Dylann Roof killed black people in cold blood and ran away in secret at first. The police department offered him a job.
Witty Department Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about department you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean staff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make department pranks.
Socrates' Beloved
Socrates beloved dog died. He went to his Greek priest and asked if he could arrange a regular church service for his dearly departed. The priest was outraged and berated the parishioner for suggesting his dog receive holy services. Dismayed, Socrates turned away mumbling, 'Now what am I to do with the five thousand Euros we saved for the serviced?' 'Good Lord, my son, come back; why didn't you say he was Orthodox?'
Freedom Tower
Apparently they're having such a hard time filling office space in the new Freedom Tower, they've opened it up to big chain department stores...
Just what America needs — another Target.
This Joke Is A Real Lemon
A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'
Dean, to the physics department:
"Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
The half-wit
A man owned a small farm in Norfolk.
The Department of wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.
'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep.
'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him 200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her 150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about 10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'
'That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent.
'That would be me,' replied the farmer.
The Montana Department of Employment
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ending It All
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left n**....
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
A Texas Salesman
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
"One."
"Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"$79,237.64."
His boss is astounded. "$79,237.64? What did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine SeaRay. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
The young man replied, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hair Fragrance
Every day at the office, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "So what's s**... threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Layoffs
The boss has to lay off one person from his department and he's narrowed the choice down to Ann or Jack. First he invites Ann in.
The boss says "I have a problem, I have to lay you or j**..."
"You better j**..., I've got a headache"
How does a blond cross the road?
A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store.
The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?"
The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"
The locked car...
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."
A burglar
Some young man is trying to get into my room through the window, screamed old Mrs. Kleinman into the telephone.
Sorry, lady, came back the answer, you've got the fire department. What you want is the police department.
No, no, she pleaded, I want the fire department. What he needs is a longer ladder!
Why is a university Philosophy Department always cheaper to fund than the Math Department?
The math department needs paper, pencils, and a wastebasket.
The philosophy department only needs paper and pencils.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde goes to buy a TV.
A blonde goes out to buy a TV at a department store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair brown. She then goes back to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry but we don't sell to blondes.
Amazed she goes out and dyes her hair ginger. She later returns to the store.
Blonde: I'd like that TV please.
Clerk: I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes.
Blonde: How did you know I'm blonde?
Clerk: Because that's a Microwave.
IT guy
John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "
A man owned a small farm
A man owned a small farm near Maddock. The North Dakota Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my field hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week, plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I go into town and buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night," replied the farmer.
"That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer sadly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?
A f**....
*dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*
All Men Go to Heaven...
...and upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells the recently departed to form two lines: one for the 'man of the house'; and a second for those obedient and dutiful to their wives. The first line had only 1 man standing in it, while the second line was miles long.
St. Peter turns to the one man standing in the first line and asks, "Man, how did you end up in this line?!"
To which the man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
Dad joke I came up with at work.
I work at a grocery store produce department. Today there was some misplaced cheese in a cooler. I saw it was sharp provolone. I took it to the deli lady and once she read it I said "be careful, it's sharp."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm starting to hate the U.S. government
The NSA appears to be the only department which listens
An office worker opened his pay envelope to find
his check was short $100. He called the accounting department to voice his complaint.
"You're right, we made a mistake," said the clerk, "but last week we overpaid you $100 and we didn't hear you complaining then."
"Look," said the man, "I can overlook one mistake. But two weeks in a row?"
A flight from Dublin to Boston
Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night
To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone.
The disgruntled designer told them "j**...".
The marketing department found the idea fantastic.
Discount Air Rides
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'
A man runs up to the conductor of a train that is about to depart from a station in Paris...
A man runs up to the conductor of a train that is about to depart from a station in Paris. Panting, he asks the conductor:
"Excuse me, does this train go to Toulouse?"
"Non monsieur," replies the conductor.
"Zis train goes 'WOOOOT WOOOOOOT!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A policeman pulls over a driver and starts writing out a ticket
The driver says to the policeman 'I didn't realise the local policeman department were selling tickets to their annual ball'
The policeman responds 'What are you talking about, we don't have any b**...'
The driver replies 'yeah didn't think so'
How many tech support reps does it take to change a light bulb?
I'm sorry, this isn't the right department to give you the answer to that question. Let me transfer you to another sub, hold please....
A mother finds out she has cancer
A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."
A woman gets called into her office HR department
They tell her that they noticed her password for her login was very unusual and asked her how she chose "DocGrumpyHappySleepyBashfulSneezyDopeySacarmento"
She said - "well the instructions were to have a password with seven characters and have at least one capitol, so I thought I was just following the rules"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
JCPenney just moved the women's Plus Size department downstairs. Is this yet another example of fat acceptance?
Or are they just tired of the escalator breaking?
I've written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts.
The sequels going to be set in a different department.
This time it's personnel.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who killed Abraham Lincoln?
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm... 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a m**... case!"
HR Department
"I proposed to my girl friend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day."
"That is cool! What did she say?"
She said, "We will get back to you soon."
I was watching the ted bundy tapes on Netflix
When he was first arrested, the police departments from the different states got together in a hotel to have a conference and share knowledge with each other.
It was the world's first Ted Talk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
A guy goes to a department store and sees a display of thermoses...
"What is this thing?" he asks the sales rep. "Why that's a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold." "Oh neat!" the guy says, "I'll take one!" The next day he goes to work with his new thermos under his arm. His boss sees him and says "Hey what is that you got there?" The guys says, "It's a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold." "Wow that's awesome," his boss asks, "What do you have in there?" The guy answers, "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."
My city decided to ban alcoholic drinks
Our health department started reporting 0 cases of corona
Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.
Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.
"Eddie!" the king says, "What's the matter?"
"Your highness," says Eddie. "You gave me the wrong key."
Recently a new supermarket opened nearby
It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men only want one thing
From the Missing-the-point department:
Text from her: Men only want one thing, and it's disgusting!
Text from him: Wash it then?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
James Potter and Sirius Black passed by each other in heaven.
James exclaimed, "Sirius, why are you here? Are you visiting?"
Sirius hung his head. "No, I actually died. Bellatrix killed me in the Department of Mysteries."
Potter just laughed. "What do you mean? You were a much better wizard than her. You can't fool me."
"I'm not kidding!" Black protested. "She killed me!"
**"Oh," James said, looking at his friend. "You're dead Sirius."** (dead serious)
As part of his infrastructure plan, President Biden will be creating a new department to work with the Department of Defense
It will be called the Department of Degate
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A jihadist was preparing himself for his mission, when suddenly he's facing the image of his dearly departed comrad
"Ahmad! How is paradise?"
"Abdul, don't go through with the mission, it is not the paradise we were promised!"
"How is that possible? How could that be? Did you get the 72 virgins?"
"Yes, and that's the problem, Abdul... think about what kind of women dies a v**...."
Little old lady calls the fire department
A little old lady calls the fire department and says, help, come right away, my house is on fire.
The dispatcher says okay ma'am, how do we get there?
The little old lady replies, don't ya'll still have that red truck?
Company Picnic Softball Tournament
At our annual company picnic, the advertising department always played a game of softball with the editorial department. This year the ad dept. won ,9-4. But on the company bulletin board the next morning was the following notice. The Editorial Dept. is proud to announce that upon the conclusion of this year's softball tournament, we finished in second place overall, having lost only one game the entire season. We would also like to take this opportunity to offer our condolences to the Ad Dept.'s team for finishing next to last, having won only one game during the entire year.
A KGB agent meets a friend
"How are you doing?" the KGB agent asks
"I'm fine, I'm working as a teacher. How about you?"
"I'm a KGB agent"
"Oh, what is it that you do?"
"I arrest those who are dissatisfied with the current regime"
"There are those that are satisfied with the current regime?" the friend asks in shock
"Yeah, but they are the responsibility of the anti-corruption department"
I never wanted to believe the rumors about my company's tech department being abusive until I had to have them come fix an issue with my office computer.
And then IT hit me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat
in a high-end department store. Do you realize, Sarah says, that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat? Sarah's mother turns to her and snaps, Think about how much I've suffered! And don't call your father an animal.
Nothing looks good on me anymore, complained a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store's mirror…
Nonsense, ma'am, said the salesclerk trying to reassure her.
That dress says it all.
That's the problem, the woman replied.
I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut.
Ex wife to her departing Husband..
You'll never find someone like me again!-
Husband …
That's my goal!
