Dentures Jokes
28 dentures jokes and hilarious dentures puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dentures that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Dentures Short Jokes
Short dentures jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dentures humour may include short false teeth jokes also.
- Whoever decided to call it Dentures.... Really missed the opportunity to call it Substitooths.
- I won't pay off my student loans until I'm an old man Now that's what I call in-dentures servitude
- People are saying Donald Trump is wearing dentures after he was slurring his speech yesterday. I think this calls for a molar investigation.
- My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar. It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth.
- An older pastor gives an unusually long sermon. After the three hour service, he's asked why. I was running very late today and accidentally put my wife's dentures in and couldn't stop talking.
- He only had a dollar... Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get new dentures?
His insurance was denied and he only had a dollar on him...so he wound up with buck teeth. - The Tooth Fairy wasn't too impressed with the dentures I left under my pillow... ...Tooth be trolled.
- Nobody really knew that grandma had dentures until.... ...it came out during a conversation
- Don't waste time brushing your teeth when you are young. Simply put your dentures in the dishwasher when you're older.
- I'm afraid my love for candy has finally caught up to me: last time I went to the dentist I had 7 cavities. And I have dentures!
Share These Dentures Jokes With Friends
Dentures One Liners
Which dentures one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dentures? I can suggest the ones about implants and missing teeth.
- Whosoever invented "dentures" missed out on calling them ... "Substitooths".
- Whoever called it 'Dentures' really missed an opportunity to call it 'Substitooths'.
- What do you call a large gay man who wears dentures? A gummy bear
- What do you call dentures made for sheep? Lamb chops!
- Why was the semi-dentured man frustrated? He was upset that he only had the up-set.
- What is another word for dentures? Substitooth
- My dad forgot his dentures on the way to dinner I said "well dadgum it!"
- What do you call an elderly person who volunteers their time? A dentured servant
- What can you say at the dinner table and in bed? Grandma, put your dentures back in.
- If I was a prosthodontist, I'd tell people I work in in-denture services.
- TIL that the elderly used to be enslaved. They called them dentured servants.
- How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth? He took out his dentures!
Happy Dentures Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about dentures you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dentures pranks.
Two elderly men
Got wasted drunk one evening and decided to go to a brothel.
The madam seeing how out of it both of them were decided to give them blow up dolls instead of real women.
The next day the two old men met up again and started sharing their experiences of the previous night.
The first one went.
"I think mine was dead. I moved her, shook her. No reaction whatsoever".
The other guy said.
"This is nothing. I'm convinced mine was a witch. In the heat of the moment as we were going at it I bit her a**.... She let out a massive f**.... Then flew out the window taking my dentures with her."
Some students notice an elderly couple in the McDonald's with only one meal on the table...
"Excuse me," says one of the students, "I noticed that you only have one meal between you. If you'd like we could get another for you, it's no trouble."
"That's very kind of you," replies the elderly woman, "but you see, in our marriage my husband and I share everything. This is enough food for both of us."
A few minutes later, the students again notice that the only elderly man is eating while his wife sits in still silence.
"Perhaps we could get that meal for you after all?" another student asks sheepishly. To which the woman replies:
"Oh no, it's fine. I'm waiting for my turn with the dentures."
A man goes to the dentist for a check-up
"Uh oh" the dentist says, "looks like your denture plate is eroding a bit. Have you been eating any new foods lately?"
The man thinks for a moment and says "you know, my wife has been using a lot of hollandaise sauce lately. She's been putting it on every dish."
"Ah, that explains it" the dentist replies. "We'll have to make you a new denture plate, but this one will need to be made of chrome."
"Chrome?" The man asks in surprise. "Why chrome?"
"Well, you know what they say", replies the dentist.
"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"
"I bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye."
An old man is sitting quietly at a bar drinking whisky. After an hour of steady drinking, he leans over and says to the young man next to him, "I bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye."
Obviously this is impossible, and seeing an opportunity to take an easy 20 off a drunk, the young man says, "Okay. You're on."
The old man, whips his artificial eye out and bites it.
The young man sighs at being so easily fooled and hands over $20.
The old man finishes another drink and then leans over again and say, "I bet you 100 bucks I can bite the other eye."
Now the young man knows the man can see him and doesn't have two artificial eyes. So again he says. "You're on."
The old man then whips off his dentures and bites the other eye.
A buddy of mine recently invested in a friend's dental practice and it just paid off big-time.
"So I guess that makes you...a denture capitalist now, eh?"
That's it. I'm done. Only downhill from here.
EDIT: showed my wife the comments and she muttered something under her breath about divorce. I love this sub.
An elderly couple are at McDonald's
They order one meal between the 2 and go and sit down.
The guy in the booth next to them notices they've only got one meal and offers to buy them another one.
The elderly man says "no thank you we share everything"
So the elderly man then cuts the burger in half and gives half to his wife. She starts to eat and the elderly man just sits there.
The man in the booth looks over again and this time notices the elderly man isn't eating yet. So he asks "why aren't you eating as well?
The elderly man replies "I'm waiting for the dentures"
A trip to the dentist
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits down in the chair, pulls down her pants and spreads her legs. The dentist says to her, "I think you've got the wrong place. The gynecologist's office is upstairs." The woman says back, "No mistake. You put my husband's dentures in, and now you're gonna get them out."
A 75 year old used to put his fake teeth in a jar of water before sleeping
He used to do this every night. One day he felt thirsty and accidentally drank the water which he put his dentures. The next day, he had severe stomach pain and went to the doctor.
The doctor examined him thoroughly, wiped his brow of sweat visibly shaking and said - In all my years being a doctor, I thought I had seen everything. But this is the first time, I saw an a**... smiling at me .
Baby teeth
\- Hey neighbour what is going on, why is your husband screaming like that?!!
\- Nothing to worry neighbour, his teeth are coming out!
\- Wait what? Isn't he like 60 years old?!
\- Yeah, that's true but last night, during his sleep, he swallowed his dentures ...
