Dentists Jokes
111 dentists jokes and hilarious dentists puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dentists that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dentists Short Jokes
Short dentists jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dentists humour may include short jokes also.
- When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while... Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
- My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?" I said "Yes, I'm ready."
He said "I'm sleeping with your wife." - My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, do you smoke or drink coffee? I told him I drink it.
- My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth. I said it must be because he has the better dentist.
- My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed I said you should know that, you were there .
- Why do only 9/10 dentists recommend Crest toothpaste? The last dentist is busy killing a lion
- Dentist: This will hurt. Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife since last year. - My dentist was voted "Dentist Of The Year".... He didn't get a trophy, they just gave him a little plaque.
- Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates? They hate plaque buildup.
- Dentist: This will hurt a little. Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.
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Dentists One Liners
Which dentists one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dentists? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I dated a dentist a while back, She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.
- My dentist asked me the last time I flossed I replied, "You remember.. You were there.."
- I just had my first prostate examination Worst dentist ever.
- What did the dentist name his boat? The Tooth Ferry
- I went to the dentist today Dentist: Open up please
Me: Sometimes I get sad. - Dentist: When was the last time you flossed? Shaking my head. Dude, you were there!
- Dentists are racist and homophobic. They want to make your teeth white and straight.
- My dentist is a really mean guy He always hurts my fillings.
- Hey baby, call me Colgate Because 9 out of 10 dentists recommend me in your mouth.
- Why don't dentists display their awards? Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.
- Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little. Me: Ok. Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom.
- My doctor checked my prostate last week It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.
- Why are dentists really good hackers? Because they always get root access.
- Why did the oreo cookie go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.
- What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque.
Dentists Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dentists you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dentists pranks.
A woman smiling
Not my joke but wanted to post it here. A bit dry but I find it funny.
At a bar a woman keeps smiling at a man. Finally the man walk over to her.
Man: I would like to ask you to come over to my place.
Woman: Are you trying to pick me up?
Man: No. I'm a dentist.
I have the worst dentist in the world.
He even got a little plaque to prove it.
What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?
One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.
Little old lady goes to a dentist...
A little old lady goes to the dentist.
She walks in to the dentists office, sits down, drops her p**..., and lifts her legs.
Rather flustered the Dentist says, "I'm sorry madam, I'm not a gynaecologist!"
She says, "I know you're not, I just need my husband's teeth back!"
A man walks into a dentist's office and says "Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm a moth!"
The dentist says, "I think you want the psychiatrist down the hall."
And the man replies, "Yeah, but your light was on."
What's the difference between mass and weight?
Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.
(From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)
I was at the dentist yesterday
As he was inspecting my teeth, he poked and prodded and scraped one of my back molars that was particularly sore. He leaned closer for a better look, and said to me, "That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen! That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen!"
I was kind of offended. "Doc, I'm not s**... or deaf, you didn't have to repeat yourself."
"I wasn't repeating myself, that was the echo!"
My niece dropped this joke on me today: Why did the king go to the dentist?
He needed to get a new crown
My girl threw this one at me right before bed: "Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"
Because they always do a full cavity search!
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
A man and wife are lying in bed...
The man says "hey honey, do you want to make love?"
She says "normally I would, but I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning, and that seems like it would be g**...."
The man says "I understand" and rolls over.
After a few moments, the man rolls back over and asks "when's your next dentist appointment?"
At the dentist
The wife says, -I have to get a tooth pulled and I have no time for any anesthesia. Just pull the tooth out as quickly as you can so we can get going!
The dentist was really impressed, -You are indeed a brave woman! Which tooth is to be removed?
She turned to her old man, -Show him your tooth, dear!
Man visits a dentist with broken teeth
Dentist.:- how did you manage to break these three teeth. .?
Man:- my wife bakeda bread that was too hard.
Dentist.:- you could have refused to eat it
Man:- that's exactly how this happened...
My dentist and orthodontist have the same name...
Isn't that coinci*dental*?
My dentist is gay
I guess that makes him the tooth fairy.
So a mentally disturbed man walks into a dentist's office.
He says, "Doc, you gotta help me! I think I'm a moth!"
"You think you're a moth??" the dentist asks.
"Yes!"
"Well you don't need a dentist... you need a psychiatrist."
"I know," says the man.
"Then what are you doing here?"
"Well, you're light was on, so..."
What do you call a gay dentist?
The Tooth Fairy
LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for helium.
It will be hilarious when you scream.
A guy walked into a dentist's office...
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?"
And the guy says, "Your light was on."
A few minutes ago while I was lifeguarding, an old lady told me that I looked like a lion pacing back and forth.
Now I'm nervous for my dentist appointment on Thursday.
What is a dentist's favorite dinosaur?
A Flossiraptor!
I'll just show myself out...
The Dentist says, "When was the last time you flossed?"
The Patient replies, "You should know, you were there!"
Heard this at the dentist this morning
A woman goes to the dentist....
and the dentist says "Looks like you need to have a tooth pulled." The woman says "I'd rather have a baby."
The dentist looks at her and says "Make up your mind, I'll have to adjust the chair."
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: - Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have s**... for a three weeks...
Husband: And what did the dentist say?
Why do SJWs hate dentists?
Because they want to make teeth straight and white.
As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.
She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
So my dentist says to me...
So my dentist says to me, "you're the cleanest patient I've had all week!"
Then I respond, "Wow I deserve a plaque!"
This literally just happened. She lost it.
I'm a moth
I walked into a dentist's office. The dentist asked me what the problem was.
I said, I'm a moth.
The dentist said, You're a moth?
I said, Yes! I'm a moth. I act like a moth. I think like a moth. I'm a moth!
The dentist said, Sir, I think you want the psychiatrist's office. He's two doors further down the hall.
I said, I know. I was on my way there, but your light was on.
I went to the dentist.
I sat down in the chair and he said, "Open up for me..."
"OK," I said, "my parents don't love me very much."
It's in the Smile
A boy met a girl....
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy (smiling): Why thank you... are you single?
Girl: No, I am a dentist.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
A man goes to the dentist for a check-up
"Uh oh" the dentist says, "looks like your denture plate is eroding a bit. Have you been eating any new foods lately?"
The man thinks for a moment and says "you know, my wife has been using a lot of hollandaise sauce lately. She's been putting it on every dish."
"Ah, that explains it" the dentist replies. "We'll have to make you a new denture plate, but this one will need to be made of chrome."
"Chrome?" The man asks in surprise. "Why chrome?"
"Well, you know what they say", replies the dentist.
"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."
i just got my first prostate exam
and im never going back to that dentist again
My dentist told me to open up....
so I started telling him how depressed I was.
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin meet with guests at the White House
One of the guests asks: Mister President, what are you talking about with president Putin? – We are planning World War III.' - 'And what does it look like?' – Trump: We will kill 4 million Muslims and a dentist... The guest looks a bit confused: Why a dentist? - Putin claps Trump on the back and says, What did I tell you, Donald? No one will ask about the Muslims.
Doctor of death!
Impressively, only 2% of the people I operated on died last year. But for some reason the authorities think that's too high for a dentist.
Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful"
Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"
.
.
.
.
Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."
Teacher asked kids to tell her what they liked the most about her and she would tell them who they would be when they grew up.
Sally : I like your hair teacher!
Teacher: well, you're going to be a hair stylist!
George : I like your teeth teacher!
T : Well, you're going to be a dentist.
Then little Johhny jumps out of his seat and yells : I already know what i'm gonna be!
T : well, tell us.
Johhny : A milkman!
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Guy : Awwww..Are you single ?
Girl :No, I'm a Dentist..
The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...
..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."
I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."
"They are."
Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?
Because they make teeth straight and white.
Dentist: How did you lose your three teeth?
Patient: "My wife prepared the pancakes and they were very hard to eat."
Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them."
Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."
4 out of 5 dentists say brushing alone is not enough.
That's why I do it on crowded subway cars.
A girl met a guy at the subway
G: Everytime you smile I feel like calling you over to my place
B: awww... Are you single?
G: No I'm a dentist
My dentist told me to open up
So I told him that I often have trouble putting peoples words into context. He said I can tell
My Dentist friend just divorced his wife who is a manicurist
All they did was fight tooth and nail
The dentist asked me if I had sensitive toothpaste at home.
I told her toothpaste and I don't talk about our feelings.
(PS: This was the actual conversation I had with my dentist just last night!)
Why did Donkey Kong go to the dentist?
He had tooth DK
Will Smith teeth joke
Jason Derulo classic golf moves leaving Will Smith with no front teeths !
Three guys just met eachother and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste
The first guy says: "I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant."
The second guy says: "I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist."
The third guy says: "I know everything about copy-paste, because I am a Redditor."
My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me "Do you smoke or drink coffee?"
I said ... "I drink it"
I hold my boyfriend and my dentist to the same standard...
They're not allowed to ask me open ended questions when they're in my mouth.
If 2020 is not bad enough already, I've just read about dentists planning a national strike next month
Brace yourselves.
What will the dentist give you for $1?
Buck teeth!
When my dentist reminded me about my husband's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed and laughed about it for a while, but then it hit me....
We have different dentists...
If dentists make all their money from bad teeth...
....why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.
My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?"
I said "Yes, I'm ready."
He said "Cash or credit card?"
a graphic designer, an astrophysicist, a dentist and an electrician walk into a bar
it was queen and they were playing their first gig
The dentist said "This might hurt a bit...are you ready?"
The patient said "Yes I'm ready"
The dentist said "I slept with your wife"
Dentist: "This is going to hurt a bit. Ready?"
Me, shutting my eyes, dreading this moment: "Yes, ready."
Dentist: "That will be $700 please."