Dentist Jokes
Following is our collection of teeth humor and anesthetic one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Dentist puns for adults, dirty dental jokes or clean dentist visit gags for kids.
There is an abundance of orthodontist jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 58 funniest jokes on dentist. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any toothbrushes witze you can hear about dentist.
The Best jokes about Dentist
I dated a dentist a while back,
She had the whitest teeth I ever came across.
When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while...
Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
My dentist asked me the last time I flossed
I replied, "You remember.. You were there.."
As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.
She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
My dentist mocked me today, saying that even though he's much older than me, he has healthier teeth.
I said it must be because he has the better dentist.
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."
I just had my first prostate examination
Worst dentist ever.
My dentist asked me how long it had been since I flossed
I said you should know that, you were there .
At the dentist
The wife says, -I have to get a tooth pulled and I have no time for any anesthesia. Just pull the tooth out as quickly as you can so we can get going!
The dentist was really impressed, -You are indeed a brave woman! Which tooth is to be removed?
She turned to her old man, -Show him your tooth, dear!
Why do only 9/10 dentists recommend Crest toothpaste?
The last dentist is busy killing a lion
Dentist: This will hurt.
Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife since last year.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)
Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates?
They hate plaque buildup.
I went to the dentist today
Dentist: Open up please
Me: Sometimes I get sad.
Dentists are racist and homophobic.
They want to make your teeth white and straight.
Dentist: This will hurt a little.
Patient: OK.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.
Why don't dentists display their awards?
Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.
Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little. Me: Ok.
Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom.
A guy walked into a dentist's office...
A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?"
And the guy says, "Your light was on."
I'm a moth
I walked into a dentist's office. The dentist asked me what the problem was.
I said, I'm a moth.
The dentist said, You're a moth?
I said, Yes! I'm a moth. I act like a moth. I think like a moth. I'm a moth!
The dentist said, Sir, I think you want the psychiatrist's office. He's two doors further down the hall.
I said, I know. I was on my way there, but your light was on.
Man visits a dentist with broken teeth
Dentist.:- how did you manage to break these three teeth. .?
Man:- my wife bakeda bread that was too hard.
Dentist.:- you could have refused to eat it
Man:- that's exactly how this happened...
My doctor checked my prostate last week
It was the worst dentist appointment of my life.
Will Smith teeth joke
Jason Derulo classic golf moves leaving Will Smith with no front teeths !
LPT: If your dentist has no painkillers, ask him for Helium.
It will be hilarious when you scream.
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin meet with guests at the White House
One of the guests asks: Mister President, what are you talking about with president Putin? – We are planning World War III.' - 'And what does it look like?' – Trump: We will kill 4 million Muslims and a dentist... The guest looks a bit confused: Why a dentist? - Putin claps Trump on the back and says, What did I tell you, Donald? No one will ask about the Muslims.
I went to the dentist.
I sat down in the chair and he said, "Open up for me..."
"OK," I said, "my parents don't love me very much."
Why are dentists really good hackers?
Because they always get root access.
Little old lady goes to a dentist...
A little old lady goes to the dentist.
She walks in to the dentists office, sits down, drops her panties, and lifts her legs.
Rather flustered the Dentist says, "I'm sorry madam, I'm not a gynaecologist!"
She says, "I know you're not, I just need my husband's teeth back!"
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
Why did the Oreo cookie go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
A woman goes to the dentist....
and the dentist says "Looks like you need to have a tooth pulled." The woman says "I'd rather have a baby."
The dentist looks at her and says "Make up your mind, I'll have to adjust the chair."
Doctor of death!
Impressively, only 2% of the people I operated on died last year. But for some reason the authorities think that's too high for a dentist.
It's in the Smile
A boy met a girl....
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy (smiling): Why thank you... are you single?
Girl: No, I am a dentist.
My dentist told me to open up....
so I started telling him how depressed I was.
The Dentist says, "When was the last time you flossed?"
The Patient replies, "You should know, you were there!"
Heard this at the dentist this morning
An old woman walked into a dentist's office (mild NSFW)
took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
My dentist and orthodontist have the same name...
Isn't that coinci*dental*?
i just got my first prostate exam
and im never going back to that dentist again
A man and wife are lying in bed...
The man says "hey honey, do you want to make love?"
She says "normally I would, but I have an appointment with my gynecologist in the morning, and that seems like it would be gross."
The man says "I understand" and rolls over.
After a few moments, the man rolls back over and asks "when's your next dentist appointment?"
Teacher asked kids to tell her what they liked the most about her and she would tell them who they would be when they grew up.
Sally : I like your hair teacher!
Teacher: well, you're going to be a hair stylist!
George : I like your teeth teacher!
T : Well, you're going to be a dentist.
Then little Johhny jumps out of his seat and yells : I already know what i'm gonna be!
T : well, tell us.
Johhny : A milkman!
So my dentist says to me...
So my dentist says to me, "you're the cleanest patient I've had all week!"
Then I respond, "Wow I deserve a plaque!"
This literally just happened. She lost it.
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
His hand slipped.
A man walks into a dentist's office and says "Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm a moth!"
The dentist says, "I think you want the psychiatrist down the hall."
And the man replies, "Yeah, but your light was on."
Why did Donkey Kong go to the dentist?
He had tooth DK
A man goes to the dentist for a check-up
"Uh oh" the dentist says, "looks like your denture plate is eroding a bit. Have you been eating any new foods lately?"
The man thinks for a moment and says "you know, my wife has been using a lot of hollandaise sauce lately. She's been putting it on every dish."
"Ah, that explains it" the dentist replies. "We'll have to make you a new denture plate, but this one will need to be made of chrome."
"Chrome?" The man asks in surprise. "Why chrome?"
"Well, you know what they say", replies the dentist.
"There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise"
I have the worst dentist in the world.
He even got a little plaque to prove it.
The dentist said, "You need two root canals. They'll be expensive, but I'll let you pay...
..for them for $500 a month for 36 months."
I said, "Wow, those sound like car payments."
"They are."
My dentist said my teeth were stained and then asked me "Do you smoke or drink coffee?"
I said ... "I drink it"
A woman smiling
Not my joke but wanted to post it here. A bit dry but I find it funny.
At a bar a woman keeps smiling at a man. Finally the man walk over to her.
Man: I would like to ask you to come over to my place.
Woman: Are you trying to pick me up?
Man: No. I'm a dentist.
Three guys just met eachother and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste
The first guy says: "I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant."
The second guy says: "I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist."
The third guy says: "I know everything about copy-paste, because I am a Redditor."
So a mentally disturbed man walks into a dentist's office.
He says, "Doc, you gotta help me! I think I'm a moth!"
"You think you're a moth??" the dentist asks.
"Yes!"
"Well you don't need a dentist... you need a psychiatrist."
"I know," says the man.
"Then what are you doing here?"
"Well, you're light was on, so..."
I hold my boyfriend and my dentist to the same standard...
They're not allowed to ask me open ended questions when they're in my mouth.
The Pastor's New Teeth
The Pastor goes to the dentist to get a new set of false teeth. On the first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. On the second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
But the following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what had happened to cause that.
The Pastor explained that the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much again to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
Dentist: How did you lose your three teeth?
Patient: "My wife prepared the pancakes and they were very hard to eat."
Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them."
Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."
My dentist is gay
I guess that makes him the tooth fairy.
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old woman, was nervous
So he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves:
Do you know how they make these gloves? He asked.
No, I don't. She replied.
Well. He spoofed. There's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, Then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.
She didn't crack a smile.
Oh, well.. I tried. He thought. But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.
What's so funny? He asked.
She replied. I was just envisioning how condoms are made!
My Dentist friend just divorced his wife who is a manicurist
All they did was fight tooth and nail
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Guy : Awwww..Are you single ?
Girl :No, I'm a Dentist..
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.