dense Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dense puns

Why did the blond girl became the Invisible Woman?

Because she has to be dense enough for light to bend around her

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TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency

Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

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A homicidal rapist is holding hands with a little girl.

They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to return by myself".

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Two guys are in a helicopter.

During their flight the helicopter encounters some dense fog and quickly becomes lost. After a few minutes of careful maneuvering, the two find themselves hovering next to a large building where they can see a guy in his office, sitting at his desk.

Thinking quickly, the copilot grabs a piece of paper, writes "WHERE ARE WE?" in huge letters on it, and holds it up for the officeworker to read. The officeworker grabs a sheet of paper off his desk, scribbles quickly, and holds up his response: "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

"Okay, no problem," says the pilot. "I know where we are. We're over the local college and that's the engineering school."

"How do you know that?" asks the copilot.

"Because," says the pilot, "the answer he gave us was technically correct but completely useless."

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Most creatures on earth are carbon based, but you might be made of Einsteinium

You dense motherfucker.

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An indian and a white man are walking through the woods...

and the white man is trying to learn how to hunt game from the indian. So the indian is moving quickly and quietly through the dense forest and the white man is fumbling loudly behind him. Suddenly, the indian stops short and presses his cheek up against a large tree. He then exclaims,

*"Moose come."*

The white man is baffled by how the indian discovered this and says, *"How do you know that?"*

Indian: *"Cheek sticky."*

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What did oil say to water?

You dense motherfucker.

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Hey girl, are you the big bang?

Cause you're pretty hot, but very dense

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Pedophile and a young boy go for a walk in the woods...

After they had been walking for a few hours, the sun begins to set and the woods are getting dense. The little boy says, "Gee Mister, it's getting pretty scary out here."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared?...I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."

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I like my women as I like my pre-expansion universes

So hot and dense that it violates the Pauli exclusion principle and demands a better understanding of the standard model

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A Red Dwarf star, a Main Sequence star, and a neutron star are all hanging out and telling stories.

The Red Dwarf decides to share a joke. He says, "What's a light-year?"

"It's the same as a regular year, but with less calories!" All three burst into laughter.

After a few minutes the neutron star confesses that he didn't get the joke. Both the Main Sequence star and the Red Dwarf turn to him with confused looks. Finally the Red Dwarf says, "Dude, you are one dense mother fucker!"

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I was arguing with a black hole.

Great conversationalist, but too dense to listen.

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A US Ship was sailing through dense fog when it sees another light....

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

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RIP Dense Water Vapour.

You will be mist ;(

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An American, a british, and a chinese man is stranded on a desert island.

The American takes charge.
He orders the British man to take care of shelter, he himself will take care of food, and he orders the Chinese man to take care of supplies.
They all go their own ways.

The american man and the british meet up, the American with food and the British with a place to stay. They wait several days for the Chinese man without him ever showing up.

They start looking for him. They start walking through the dense forest when suddenly the Chinese man jumps up from a bush:
SUPPLIES!
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.
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.
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What are denser than black holes?

Flat earthers

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Completely Original Joke About Numbers That I'm Sure Has Never Occurred To Anyone

While I've always been able to count on the cardinal numbers, I find that some of the integers can be negative, but at least they're still rational. But as long as a number can be real with me, I don't care how dense they might be.

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Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole...

...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back.

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Chemistry Lesson

Me: "Hey girl, if you were a compound, you'd be copper telluride. You know why?"

Girl: "Because I'm cute?"

Me: "Nah, you're just really dense."

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My skydiving instructor was really dense.

He left quite an impression.

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Travelling through the deepest darkest jungles of Africa with my man servant Jeeves ....

We broke through the dense undergrowth into a small clearing. There were eggs everywhere. I turned to Jeeves and said "This is obviously the work of poachers"

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What do you and a black hole have in common?

You're both dense motherfuckers.

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I explained to my friend that he shouldn't be afraid of drowning in the sea because of Archimedes principle.

But he was too dense.

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What did the block of Silicon say to the block of Gold?

"Dude, quit being so dense!"

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3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don't you tell Matter the joke.

Atom: he wouldn't get it, he's too dense.

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My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me..

When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.

Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, good eye mike!

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A mathematician was stopped in San Francisco by a cop for speeding.

The cop says, Ma'am, you were going 25. But the speed limit in a dense neighborhood is 15 mph in California.

I'm sorry, Officer, she says, but you're wrong. This isn't a dense neighborhood.

He looks around at the three-story Victorians crammed against each other and laughs. It isn't? Well, then, what's your definition of a dense neighborhood?

She smiles kindly at him and says, Between every two houses is another house.

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I like my men like I like my neutron stars

Hot, dense, and degenerate.

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RIP Kanye West, died after what police think was his attempt to walk on water...

Coast Guard attempted rescue, but say he was too dense.

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Why are Korean Women's belts called the '38th Parallel'?

So that the belts could separate the mountains of the north from the dense forests of the south.

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Yo momma's so dense she has an accretion disk

I'm so sorry...

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Yo mama's so dense...

Yo mama's so dense the only reason people think she's bright is because she hit critical mass and now she burns the eyes out of anyone who looks at her... Sick burn.

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Hey baby, are you osmium?

Because you're really fucking dense.

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my girlfriend told me that i never understand what she's trying to say and that i'm dense.. i understood perfectly

and i explained to her that i can't be that dense since i am ~70% water

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Apparently there was a Problem with a request to put Trump's Face on Mount Rushmore

It seems granite isn't a dense enough substance to accurately portray his head

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What are the most funny Dense jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dense? Well, here are the best Dense dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dense pick up lines to share with friends.

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