Dense Jokes

Following is our collection of moist puns and sulfur one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Dense jokes for adults, dirty neon jokes and clean blownaparte dad gags for kids.

The Best Dense Puns

Trump reportedly asked to be added to Mount Rushmore

Turns out granite isn't a dense enough material to represent him

Why did the blond girl became the Invisible Woman?

Because she has to be dense enough for light to bend around her

The spread of coronavirus within a country depends on two factors:

1) How dense the country's population is
2) How dense the country's population is

TIL that the Hindi word for "penny" is derived from the word for bread, as in the ancient Indus valley, small and dense pieces of bread were used as currency

Sounds like a bunch of naan-cents to me

A homicidal rapist is holding hands with a little girl.

They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to return by myself".


What's denser than a neutron star?

A Flat Earther

An indian and a white man are walking through the woods...

and the white man is trying to learn how to hunt game from the indian. So the indian is moving quickly and quietly through the dense forest and the white man is fumbling loudly behind him. Suddenly, the indian stops short and presses his cheek up against a large tree. He then exclaims,

*"Moose come."*

The white man is baffled by how the indian discovered this and says, *"How do you know that?"*

Indian: *"Cheek sticky."*

The spread of Corona Virus is based on 2 factors:

1. How dense the population is.

2. How dense the population is.

The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors:

1. How dense the population is

2. How dense the population is

Hey girl, are you the big bang?

Cause you're pretty hot, but very dense

I like my women as I like my pre-expansion universes

So hot and dense that it violates the Pauli exclusion principle and demands a better understanding of the standard model


Pedophile and a young boy go for a walk in the woods...

After they had been walking for a few hours, the sun begins to set and the woods are getting dense. The little boy says, "Gee Mister, it's getting pretty scary out here."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared?...I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."

I was arguing with a black hole.

Great conversationalist, but too dense to listen.

RIP Dense Water Vapour.

You will be mist ;(

What are denser than black holes?

Flat earthers

Completely Original Joke About Numbers That I'm Sure Has Never Occurred To Anyone

While I've always been able to count on the cardinal numbers, I find that some of the integers can be negative, but at least they're still rational. But as long as a number can be real with me, I don't care how dense they might be.

My brother keeps drowning despite my numerous attempts to teach him to stay afloat.

What a dense child.

Carbon and Helium were having a conversation.

Carbon: And then I said, Barium!

Osmium walks into the room.

What's so funny guys?

Carbon whispers to Helium: Don't tell him. He's too dense to get it.

Chemistry Lesson

Me: "Hey girl, if you were a compound, you'd be copper telluride. You know why?"

Girl: "Because I'm cute?"

Me: "Nah, you're just really dense."


The spread of coronavirus depends on two things:

1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.

Girl, you're like a supermassive black hole...

...because you're incredibly dense, nothing is more attactive than you, and once you suck me in there's no going back.

My skydiving instructor was really dense.

He left quite an impression.

Travelling through the deepest darkest jungles of Africa with my man servant Jeeves ....

We broke through the dense undergrowth into a small clearing. There were eggs everywhere. I turned to Jeeves and said "This is obviously the work of poachers"

I explained to my friend that he shouldn't be afraid of drowning in the sea because of Archimedes principle.

But he was too dense.

3 kids are in class Atom, Molecule and Matter. Atom turns to molecule and tells him a joke. Molecule laughs so hard and asks why don't you tell Matter the joke.

Atom: he wouldn't get it, he's too dense.

My aussie friend was clearly impressed with me..

When i spotted him amongst the dense crowd of people.

Without skipping a beat, first thing he said to me was, good eye mike!

What did the block of Silicon say to the block of Gold?

"Dude, quit being so dense!"

The spread of Covid-19 is based on 2 factors

1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is

Two black holes are jogging in space.

One says "You should slim down to get more attractive."

"Are you dense?" replies the other.

A customer walks into a bakery and orders a loaf of bread. As the baker wraps the loaf, the customer says, "You know, I bake my own bread at home, but they come out dense."

The baker looks up suspiciously and says, "Yeah, prove it."

RIP Kanye West, died after what police think was his attempt to walk on water...

Coast Guard attempted rescue, but say he was too dense.

I like my men like I like my neutron stars

Hot, dense, and degenerate.

What's hot dense but ever expanding?

The Kardashians

Yo momma's so dense she has an accretion disk

I'm so sorry...

Yo mama's so dense...

Yo mama's so dense the only reason people think she's bright is because she hit critical mass and now she burns the eyes out of anyone who looks at her... Sick burn.

Why are Korean Women's belts called the '38th Parallel'?

So that the belts could separate the mountains of the north from the dense forests of the south.

my girlfriend told me that i never understand what she's trying to say and that i'm dense.. i understood perfectly

and i explained to her that i can't be that dense since i am ~70% water

Apparently there was a Problem with a request to put Trump's Face on Mount Rushmore

It seems granite isn't a dense enough substance to accurately portray his head

Why did the pothead seem so smart?

Because all of his buds were so dense...

What's denser than a black hole?

Your ex.

I wanted to organise a party on venus but the atmosphere was too dense

Your dad's so dense...

Your dad's so dense, he has an escape velocity greater than the speed of light.

Seen on performance evaluation

He's so dense, light bends around him.

My teacher says I'm a time waster and too dense.

I told her I absorb everything but the information just gets lost.

She didn't believe me and is now forever circling.

Sucks being a black hole...

There is an abundance of denser jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 44 funniest jokes and dense puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any einsteinium witze you can hear about dense.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes