Denise Jokes

Following is our collection of named puns and debra one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Denise jokes for adults, dirty cathy jokes and clean kathy dad gags for kids.

The Best Denise Puns

A woman wakes up from a coma and...

A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?

Doctor: Denise

Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew

A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...

When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.

Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"

New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"

Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."

New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"

Doctor: "Denephew."

What's in a name?

A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."

Oh, no, the new mother thinks.Β He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

Not bad, she thinks.Β I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?"

"DeNephew."

Denise and WHAT?!

A woman falls into a coma as she is giving birth. When she wakes up a few weeks later, the doctor greets her with some news.

"Congratulations! You had twins; a boy and a girl. Since you were in a coma, we gave your brother the liberty of naming your children."

"What did he name them?" she worriedly asked, "he isn't very bright!"

"Your daughter is Denise," replied the doctor.

Slightly relieved she says, "That's not so bad! And the boy?"

"Danephew."

A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a girl and a boy. Fortunately, your brother was there to name them for you.

Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. What did he name the boy?

Doctor: Denephew.


A woman who has just given birth has fallen into a coma.

After 7 months the mother finally awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: Good news, you had twins! a boy and a girl. They are healthy, luckily your brother named them for you.

Mother: Oh no, not my brother! he's so stupid! What did he name my daughter?

Doctor: Denise.

Mother: well that isn't so bad, and what did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew.

A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...

6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"

I let my brother name my twins.

He did fine with my daughter, Denise. But my son may never forgive him for naming him Denephew.

A pregnant woman goes into a coma

A pregnant woman goes into a coma moments after she gives birth to twins, one boy and one girl.
When she finally wakes up several days later, she cries out frantically to see her children.
The doctors come to her, and the first thing she asks is "How are my children?"
"Fine" says the doctor, "your brother named them".
She thinks to herself, "Oh no!" "My brother's an idiot" and she asks the doctor "What did he name them?"
The doctor says "He named the girl Denise"
And she thinks, Well, maybe I misjudged my brother... Denise isn't such a bad name"
What did he name the boy?"
Replies the doctor "De nephew."

A mother of twins went into labour and passed out.

A mother of twins went into labour and passed out. She woke up hours later to find her (not so bright) sister carrying her twins. Nervously the new mother asked her sister whether the children has been named. To which the sister replied yes. The new mother shocked and scared then asked the sister what she named the children to which she replied she named the niece Denise. The mother feeling a little better then asked what she had name the boy to which she replied Denephew.

A woman is pregnant with twins.

A woman is pregnant with twins. During her last month of pregnancy, she falls into a coma. When she wakes up, the doctor tells her that she had a girl and a boy, and that her brother claimed them until she came to. Immediately, she panics at the thought of her brother supervising her newborns.

"What did he name them?" She asks anxiously.

"He named the girl Denise", the doctor says.

That's not too bad, she thought, relieved. "What did he name my son?"

"Denephew."


A couple of friends are catching up after years apart.

"So I hear you've recently had a baby boy!" Gushes Edna.

"We did!" Responds Amy.

"Have you decided on a name yet?"

"Funny story: with our first, Denise, my husband's brother wanted to name her. The name stuck, so when he asked again, we figured he'd pick another good one."

"That's adorable! What'd he pick!"

Amy sighed. "Denephew."

A woman is pregnant with twins

but because of complications during labor, she passed out for about 24 hours after the birth. When she wakes up, she asks to see her children, excited to name them.

The doctor says sure, here they are, but your brother already named them.

What? she exclaims, what did he name them?

He named the girl, Denise, said the doctor.

Hmm, she says, I guess that's ok. I like Denise. What did he name my son?

Denephew.

A pregnant woman got in a car wreck and went into a coma.

While in the coma, she gave birth to twins.

4 months later she woke up asking where her kids were.

The nurse informed her she had given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and her brother has been taking care of them.

The woman said "Oh no, not my idiot brother. What did he name my daughter?"

"Denise" the nurse said.

"Oh, that's not bad. What about the boy"

The nurse replied "Da-nephew"

A pregnant lady went into a coma

Months later she wake up, no longer pregnant

"You had twins, a boy and a girl" the nurse exclaims "your brother named them"

"What did he name the girl?" the woman asked

"Denise"

"That's alright, I like Denise, what about the boy?"

"Denephew"

A woman gives birth to twins and then goes into a coma

When she wakes up, she realises that she is yet to name her child.

Doctor: Oh, don't worry about that miss. Your brother was here while you were unconscious. He named your children.


Mother: What!? My brother is a complete idiot! Oh God, what did he name my daughter?


Doctor: Denise


Mother: Oh, I guess that's not too bad. What a relief. And what did he name my son?


Doctor: ....Denephew

A woman gives birth to a girl and a boy but falls into a coma for a few months.

After she wakes up the doctor says "stay calm. You fell into a coma after having twins. Your brother came to pick them up and even name them."

The mother is worried "Oh no my Brother is terrible with names!"

The doctor says "He named the girl Denise"

The mother looks relieved "well that's not so bad. What did he name the boy?"

"Denephew"

A man's sister is giving birth, but she can't think of what to name it.

So the man goes to his good friend and asks; "what should my sister name her child?"

And his friend says, "Denise."

The man asks, "but what if her child is a boy?"

And his friend asks for some time to think.

So the man waits a few days and then returns to his friend.

He asks, "have you thought of a name yet?"

"Yes, Denephew."

Who's the male version of Denise?

The nephew


Coma Pregnancy

A woman is in an accident while she's pregnant. While in a coma she has twins, a boy & a girl.

When she woke up she asked the doctor where her baby was. The doctor said she had twins but her brother named them.

She replied,My brother is an idiot I wonder what names he gave them. Anyway what did he name the girl?

"Denise", replied the doctor. That's not so bad.What about the boy?, she asked. "Denephew"

My ex, Denise used to write me angry letters.

She was literally one letter away from becoming my Demise.

I was extremely nervous meeting my blind date that I felt faint....

I became weak at Denise

My alliterative pedofilic uncle won't shut up about my sister

Every time he sees her he goes: "Look at the knees on my niece, Denise!"

There is an abundance of laurie jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes and denise puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any diane witze you can hear about denise.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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