Demonstration Jokes
32 demonstration jokes and hilarious demonstration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about demonstration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Demonstration Short Jokes
Short demonstration jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The demonstration humour may include short demonstrate jokes also.
- Abortion clinics should be banned Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.
- Students at M.I.T. recently developed a new contender for the blackest material known to man... Scientists attempted to demonstrate it in public, but it was immediately shot by the police.
- Why did the police chief tell his officers to show up 15 minutes early to the political demonstration? To beat the crowds.
- Scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. It's probably better to just use an ashtray.
- There was a demonstration by homeless people in my town today. They were demanding change.
- I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ... which this post is too short to contain
- I don't understand why people have a problem with corona protest demonstrations. Shouldn't everyone be pro testing?
- Did you hear about the really boring demonstration on unmanned aerial vehicles? The guy droned for at least an hour.
- It appears international women's day was a HUGE success. Women from all over the US demonstrated their femininity by not making up their minds about whether they wanted to celebrate it or not.
- How do you know when a British person is demonstrating great hospitality? You visit their house and they don't offer you their food.
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Demonstration One Liners
Which demonstration one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with demonstration? I can suggest the ones about testimony and specimen.
- Nobody would show up to a "White Lives Matter" demonstration. They all have to work.
- What's an evil gathering called? A demonstration
- Did you see the gorgeous girl doing the taser demonstration? She was stunning.
- What is white and disturbs people while they are demonstrating? An avalanche.
- If Catholics are in a demonstration... ... Are they Protestants?
- Why did the American prepare peach gelato? To demonstrate her right to freeze peach!
- A bartender walks into a bar demonstrating the danger of free beer.
- Interviewer: "Describe a time you demonstrated versatility" Me: "Well I'm bisexual so..."
- worst thing you could say in a s**...-ed class? "can we have a live demonstration?"
Silly & Ridiculous Demonstration Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about demonstration you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean presentation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make demonstration pranks.
Did you know? In Marseille, they actually give you a certificate with every souvenir you buy, as a means of demonstrating that it's a genuine product of southern France.
It's proven Provence province provenance.
Kiss The Mirror
A middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how much work they were making for the custodian, she asked him to clean one of the mirrors while the girls watched. The custodian took a long-handled brush, dipped it into the nearest toilet, and proceeded to scrub the mirror. From that day on, the problem of lip prints on the mirrors was completely eliminated.
A s**... bomber is teaching some new recruits...
He said, "Watch this demonstration carefully. I'm only going to do this once."
Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...
A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:
"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" Says the dog.
"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
Again, the dog says "Roof!"
"Remarkable! So what do you think?"
The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."
Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are observing a building...
A very heavy-set man is seen going in.
A while later two very skinny men exit.
The physicist says "To within experimental error, the conservation of mass has been demonstrated."
The biologist says "reproduction by mitosis must have taken place."
The mathematician scratches his chin and then says "you know, if one more person goes in there that building will be empty."
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Lipstick Girls
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints.
Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together that wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2pm. They gathered at 2pm and found the principal and the school custodian waiting for them.
The principal explained that it was becoming a problem for the custodian to clean the mirror every night. He said he felt the ladies did not fully understand just how much of a problem it was and he wanted them to witness just how hard it was to clean.
The custodian then demonstrated. He took a long brush on a handle out of a box. He then dipped the brush in the nearest toilet, moved to the mirror and proceeded to remove the lipstick.
That was the last day the girls pressed their lips on the mirror.
Scientists and spiders.
There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'
Many times when I am troubled or confused...
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a v**... Martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
A famous armorer was called to court...
…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!
A priest in church wanted to demonstrate the dangers of alcohol.
He took out a live worm, dipped it in a glass of water and pulled it out alive. 'See? The worm is alive and well'. He now dips the worm in a glass of whisky and pulls out the worm. He screams at the congregation 'look at this worm. It's dead now. What does that tell you? The drunk at the back says: if you drink whisky you won't get worms.
My little brother asked out of nowhere how gay men have s**...
I told him to go ask our uncle, when I was his age he gave me a demonstration.
I attended a very touching live demonstration on b**....
There wasn't a dry eye in the audience.
I saw my brother m**... in his room when I was seven
I asked him what he's doing. He didn't want mum to know about this and told me he's practising Chinese kungfu. I shall never forget the day when I volunteered to demonstrate Chinese kungfu in front of everyone in class.
A teacher asked her class "What is s**...?"
Johny got up and said:
"s**... is a *temptation*
Caused by a *sensation*
Where a boy sticks his *location*
Into a girls *destination*
To increase *population*
For the next *generation*
Did you get my *explanation*
Or so you need a *demonstration?*"
The teacher fainted then.
