The Best 37 Demons Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Demons jokes. There are some demons exorcism jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these demons sinners puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Demons Jokes and Puns
So to celebrate the Halloween season...
... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.
Why dont Demons fear oxidation?
Because there's no rust for the wicked
A word of advice on the subject of *demon possession.*
"Demons should take good care of their possessions and not leave them out after they're done playing with them."
I think my uncle is an exorcist.
He always says he's fighting off his demons.
Late last night I was trying to summon a demon.
After many hours in my basement drawing pentagrams, chanting voodoo and performing spiritual dance I had failed to conjure any demons from the dark depths of Hades.
Defeat was in my mind and I had no choice but to admit the ways of old no longer held any sway with the dark lord. I reluctantly slid the Iphone from my bathrobe's inner pocket and activated the voice command:
"Siri, would you please summon me the darkest, most malevolent demon that Satan himself would be pleased with."
Siri:"Ok, Contacting Comcast Customer Support"
Demons must be obese...
...Because they hate getting exorcised.
what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common?
They both treat their demons with spirits!
Why do demons love apostrophes?
They show possession.
Why do Demons and Ghouls hang out together?
Because Demons are a Ghouls best friend.
A Paladin goes into a mechanic's shop...
A paladin goes in to a mechanic's shop, and says "Hey, you've got to help me. Normally, I'm a perfect, upstanding paladin. I help old ladies cross the street, I tithe, I slay evil demons. But when I get in my car, I only have the urge to cause property damage and run people over. What's going on?"
The mechanic responds almost immediately. "Oh, yeah. What you've got there is a problem with your alignment."
What do you get when you combine two Japanese demons?
A two-eyed onion.
You can explore demons angels reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean demons eternal dad jokes. There are also demons puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A priest entered the bedroom of a possessed boy with nothing but a treadmill and weights
Surprised, the boy's family gave the priest a strange look. He turned to the family, a bit confused himself, and said "I'm here to exercise the demons, right?"
When the devil goes out drinking, he makes all the demons wear robes.
He likes jinn in tunics.
I stretch daily to squeeze the demons out of my blood.
It's the only way I know how to exorcise.
My wife said she hates Diablo 3 because it's about demons
I said, babe, it's not about demons, its about gambling!
Women are like planets...
It's hard to find ones in the habitable zone, and when you do, they're usually overrun with demons.
What haunts more than ghosts and is scarier than demons?
Our thoughts
How are demons getting to work?
With the succu-bus
There was a demonstration by homeless people in my town today.
They were demanding change.
Why did the priest get a nutritionist degree?
To help him when exercising Demons
Why are there so many fat demons?
Because they hate exorcising.
I wonder if all female demons have a kink for cars
Because they sure succ-a-bus
How can you tell which demon farted in a crowd of demons?
Look for the one that's ember-assed.
An alcoholic therapist
Is a destroyer of demons and spirits.
What do you call it when two unspeakably awful demons compete to see which is the most evil?
The 2016 election.
Why are Southerners most delicious to demons?
Because they're soul food.
What type of jackets do demons wear?
Blazers
Credit to my son for coming up with this joke.
Demons are good people
Well, unless you count the times when they ask to see my manager
Why are there no demons in Africa?
Cause someone already blessed the rains down there.
Technically DOOM is a Christian game...
Because all you do is kill Demons.
Why did satan open a gym?
So he could exercise his demons.
In another context, "Doom" could have been one of the scariest horror games of all time.
All you have to do is play one of the demons.
Why are demons fat.
Because they hate exorcising.
How do demons get to the brothel?
Via the succu-bus.
Why did Satan build a gym in Hell?
To exercise the demons
How do you keep demons away?
Exorcise regularly.
Did you know they opened up a gym in Hell?
Now you can exercise your demons.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the demons satanists puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working demons fiery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.