JokoJokes

Demon Jokes

64 demon jokes and hilarious demon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about demon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Brighten up your day with these devilish demon jokes! From Lemon Demon to Demon Slayer Dark, these funny possessions will have you laughing 'til you make it to Purgatory.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Demon Short Jokes

Short demon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The demon humour may include short satan devil jokes also.

  1. Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people. This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.
  2. What do apostrophes and demonic behavior have in common? They're both signs of possession.
  3. I told my husband he should fight his demons Thats all I remember before being knocked out
  4. what do exorcists and alcoholics have in common? They both treat their demons with spirits!
  5. I stretch daily to squeeze the demons out of my blood. It's the only way I know how to exorcise.
  6. What type of jackets do demons wear? Blazers
    Credit to my son for coming up with this joke.
  7. "Social credit system , censorship of any info that does not fit their narrative , Demonization of people with wrong think " You know who I am talking about. Reddit
  8. What do you call it when two unspeakably awful demons compete to see which is the most evil? The 2016 election.
  9. When the devil goes out drinking, he makes all the demons wear robes. He likes jinn in tunics.
  10. In another context, "Doom" could have been one of the scariest horror games of all time. All you have to do is play one of the demons.

Share These Demon Jokes With Friends




Demon One Liners

Which demon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with demon? I can suggest the ones about monster and devil.

  1. Why are there so many fat demons? Because they hate exorcising.
  2. Why do demons love apostrophes? They show possession.
  3. Demons must be obese... ...Because they hate getting exorcised.
  4. What do you call an accordionist who can play fast and furious? A speed demon.
  5. What gym equipment do demons never use? The exorcise bike.
    Ba dum tiss.
  6. Why are demons fat. Because they hate exorcising.
  7. Why dont Demons fear oxidation? Because there's no rust for the wicked
  8. How do you keep demons away? Exorcise regularly.
  9. How do demons get to the brothel? Via the succu-bus.
  10. An alcoholic therapist Is a destroyer of demons and spirits.
  11. What haunts more than ghosts and is scarier than demons? Our thoughts
  12. Why are Southerners most delicious to demons? Because they're soul food.
  13. How are demons getting to work? With the succu-bus
  14. What do you get when you combine two Japanese demons? A two-eyed onion.
  15. I think my uncle is an exorcist. He always says he's fighting off his demons.

Demon joke, I think my uncle is an exorcist.

Cheerful Demon Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about demon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean goblin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make demon pranks.

Did you hear about the d**... that got arrested?

He was charged with possession.

A daughter is seemingly possessed by a d**......

Her mother frantically calls their priest, requesting an exorcism. She describes the details "She has been spinning about wildly, climbing on the walls, running on the ceiling.. moving about non-stop!" The priest replies "I don't know what you want me to do. Sounds like she's already exercising plenty!"

Why did the d**... get arrested?

Posession

My house was haunted...

... then I got a divorce.
d**... free since 2003.

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.

His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.
When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a d**....
He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"

A pious woman was possessed by a d**...

She went to her priest, desperate to relieve herself of this burden. After a few silent rituals, she was rid of the d**.... As she was exiting though, the priest extended his hand, signifying he was due payment. The woman replied, "Oh, but father, I have no money!"
She was repossessed.

A word of advice on the subject of *d**... possession.*

"Demons should take good care of their possessions and not leave them out after they're done playing with them."

Late last night I was trying to summon a d**....

After many hours in my basement drawing pentagrams, chanting voodoo and performing spiritual dance I had failed to conjure any demons from the dark depths of Hades.
Defeat was in my mind and I had no choice but to admit the ways of old no longer held any sway with the dark lord. I reluctantly slid the Iphone from my bathrobe's inner pocket and activated the voice command:
"Siri, would you please summon me the darkest, most malevolent d**... that Satan himself would be pleased with."
Siri:"Ok, Contacting Comcast Customer Support"

How do you get rid of an obese d**...?

You exercise it.

What did the demonic j**... get charged with?

Two counts of possession

Exorcism

Whats the difference between a normal exorcism and an Irish exorcism??
A normal exorcism you call the priest up to banish the d**... out of the child.
An Irish exorcism you call the d**... to banish the priest out of the child... :D

What do you do to get rid of an obese d**...?

You exorcise him.

How do you exorcise a d**...?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

Why doesn't the fellowship of the japanese cow d**... have any followers?

They're asking everyone to believe in bull oni.

What do you call a japanese spice d**...?

Pepper-oni.

There was a demonstration by homeless people in my town today.

They were demanding change.

A fiery d**..., clad in sleigh bells, entered the chamber.

Gandalf immediately froze in fear. It was what he had feared since entering Moria.
With each horrific step, the bells jangled d**....
That's the jingle bell, muttered Gandalf.
Step.
That's the jingle bell.
Step.
That's the jingle Balrog.

Last night I saw a d**... eating the bottom of my shoe.

When I asked him why he looked at me saying, "I am eating your sole"

What do you call Matt Damon when he haunts a carpet store?

Mat d**...

Which d**... is the average YouTuber most afraid of?

Demonetization.

My brother got possessed by a d**..., and since then he's become extremely pale and sickly.

The doctor said he just needed to go outside and get some exorcise.

If a millennial asks you...

If a millennial asks you why people in old photos have red eyes


Tell them that they're too young to remember the d**... uprising of the 1980s

What should you do if there's a glutenous d**... within you?

Exercise.

There's a double feature at the theatre tonight. The first film is about a s**... transmitted d**.... The second is about an evil clown.

It follows It Follows.

Why did the priest beat the d**... at a bodybuilding competition?

Because the priest knew how to exorcise

What do you do when your ogre gets possessed by an evil d**...?

Call a shrexorcist!

What did the gay s**... d**... say to the straight guy?

I'll succubi.

I'm so out of shape there's no way I can out run a d**....

So I really need to start exorcising.

How do demonic h**... find John's?

They get on the succubus.

I threw holy water at the d**... and tried to banish it back to h**...

My wife was furious and told me not to treat her mother like that

What do you get when You cross the ceo of Facebook and a d**... believed to have s**... with sleeping men?

Mark zuccubus

How would you tell someone that you want a d**... for your birthday?

Asking for a fiend

A Vicar was preaching on the d**... Drink, saying whiskey can kill but water can't.

To prove it he had a glass of each. He dropped a worm into the water and it wiggled about. He dropped a worm into the whiskey.
Stone dead.
A person at the back jumped up shouting, "I'll have the whiskey Vicar! I've been having trouble with worms all my life

One time a d**... showed her daughter how to use a t**...

It was an excellent demonstruation

Can you go to jail for this?

A d**... enters a woman's body. During this time it makes her do horrible things. She commits multiple crimes.
A priest is finally able to free her of this d**..., but legally she is still held accountable for all of her crimes.
She goes to prison and one of inmate says "I'm in for theft; what are you in for?"
She responds, "possession."

Where does Satan shop for luxury items?

d**... Marcus.
I am so terribly sorry.

Where are you if a d**... is forcing you to drink pee all day?

u**... h**...

Did you hear about the omelet that was possessed by a d**...?

They had to call an eggsorcist

I think my neighbor is a d**.... He bought a bunch of Kia's.

I think he is collecting Souls.

How do you measure the weight of a d**...?

In PentaGrams....

So just some dating advice for y'all, never EVER date a d**...!

They're way too possessive!!

How do you turn a d**... into an angel?

You scare the h**... out of them.

What is the Reverse Excorcism?

It is when the d**... banishes the priest out of the non-minor victim.

Demon joke, What is the Reverse Excorcism?

jokes about demon