democratic Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious democratic puns

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"

The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.

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I Hear that Russia is so mad about the US airstrike in syria

That they are seriously considering voting democratic in the next election.

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You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler)

A democratic senator from Kentucky.

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This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.

One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."

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Why isn't North Korea democratic?

Because Kim Jung Un doesn't want a public erection

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Say what you will about the Democratic debate...

but Hillary Clinton didn't refer to the size of her penis.

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I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms.

Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.

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An Economist went to a lingerie shop

to buy a bra for his wife. While he proudly announced to the Salesgirl that he is an Economist, he also confessed that only thing he knows about bra is 'how to unhook', and he really needed some expert help in making the purchase.


The smart Salesgirl asked, "Sir, you want a capitalistic, socialistic or democratic bra?"


Of course, our Economist was intrigued and he asked, "What are they?"


Salesgirl : "Sir, capitalistic suppresses the masses, socialistic uplifts the downtrodden and democratic makes mountains out of molehills."

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Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination .

This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.

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Did you guys hear about the new death camps in North Korea?

No you didn't. You haven't heard anything. Long Live the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Why are there no chairs in the Democratic National Headquarters?

Because everyone is left leaning.

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What's the difference between a democratic system and a feudal system?

In one your vote counts, in the other, your count votes.

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Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house...

the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%.

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What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party?

No brains

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The Democratic National Committee

Democratic. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

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Iran has finally reached out to America politically

Concerned for its citizens, they want to send over a few election monitors to ensure a fair democratic election occurs without fraud.

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Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India. In Usa U Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can't Susu. In India U Can Susu In Public Place But Cant Kiss.

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I think we all know Lincoln Chaffee won the Democratic debate last night.

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What does a democratic magician wear?

Appointed Hat.

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A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State

A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims

"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"

The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues;

"As you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in exactly 8 years"

The humble farmer then signals to the official to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping through for some time he finally says;

"Morning or afternoon?"

The party official is rather offended, and remarks "comrade, you are being given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what does it matter if its morning or afternoon?"

To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..."

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What do you call a conservative acting as a mole in the Democratic party?

A decepti-con.

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"A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader." Harry S. Truman

The Boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that read:

I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: -

Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

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This Christmas...

This Christmas,

Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada.

Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War.

Bernie Sanders stars...

in

HELL TOUPÉE

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"By 2040, 70% of Americans will live in 15 states, which means that 30% of Americans will elect 70 of the 100 senators."

America is Democratic.

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Q: Why doesn't our democratic society permit a man to have 2 wives?

A: Because our laws protect us against cruel and unusual punishment.

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What does a democratic male produce when he masturbates?

Soy sauce

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The was this democratic elevator stuck in the basement

it kept getting down votes.

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Why is the democratic process so efficient in Asian countries?

They are afraid of letting their erection last more than four hours.

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What do a democratic Asian and a gay guy have in common?

They both love an erection

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No democratic debate on Christmas Day

The democratic presidential hopefuls signed a statement not to debate on Christmas Day.

It was a Barry Sanders-clause

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How did Obama celebrate his reelection?

He hosted a Democratic Party.

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In honor of the Democratic presidential candidate debate last night ...

... SpaceX decided to demonstrate that they too are feeling the bern.

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What do Trump and Sanders have in common?

They both have an equal chance of winning the Democratic nomination.

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The Democratic National Comittee

Fuck.

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A Tea party like revolution is coming to the Democratic party after the election. What should it be named ?

Half-Caff-Extra-Whip-Soy-Latte Party

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What are the most funny Democratic jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Democratic? Well, here are the best Democratic dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Democratic pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes