Democrat Republican Jokes
85 democrat republican jokes and hilarious democrat republican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about democrat republican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Democrat Republican Short Jokes
Short democrat republican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The democrat republican humour may include short republican democratic jokes also.
- The problem with Trump jokes: Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
- A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you... A: Have lunch.
B: Browse reddit. - Comey: He's guilty Democrats: He's guilty
Trump: I'm guilty
Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this - How are republicans and democrats like divorced parents? They care more about you hating the other person than they do about your well-being.
- What is the one thing that Democrats and Republicans can agree on? They should allow guns at the Republican convention
- Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
- What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.
- Finally, a fact both Democrats and Republicans can agree on! "Anyone with half a brain knows Trump won."
- I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
- What do condoms and taxes have in common? Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.
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Democrat Republican One Liners
Which democrat republican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with democrat republican? I can suggest the ones about democratic party and republican.
- I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans... ... Since they freed the slaves
- What do Republicans and Democrats have in common? Epsteins island.
- Why were Democrats in the lead early on? Republicans weren't off of work yet.
- How can you be both right and wrong? Be a republican from a democrat's point of view.
- My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat
- How can you tell a republican from a democrat on voting day? *millennial sigh*
- Republicans think every day is july 4th Democrats think every day is april 15th
- There are no Republicans only Democrats in a deserted island..
- A Republican asked a democrat, "Who's side are you on ?". The democrat said : H3H3
- I s**... identify as half Democrat and half Republican I'm bipartisan
Playful Democrat Republican Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about democrat republican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean democrats jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make democrat republican pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
A: At least two!
"A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader." Harry S. Truman
The Boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that read:
I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: -
Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat . . .
A Republican sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws the man a 25 foot rope, and expects him to swim half way.
A Democrat sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws him a 100 foot rope. Then lets of of his end.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I've got some buddies...
They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical m**... to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.
This is a very old joke that I'm sure most people have heard.
One day George W. Bush was walking through Washington when he spotted a boy selling week old "Republican Puppies", delighted he resolved to come back with reporters in a few weeks for his campaign. When he came back the boy was now selling "Democratic Puppies". Disgruntled he asked why and the boy said,
"They used to be Republican Puppies, but now they've opened their eyes."
Vote!
Vote!
Vote early!
Vote your conscience!
Vote! Even if you've never voted before!
Vote! If your an Conservative, Vote!
Vote! If your an Democrat, Vote!
Vote! If your an Independent, Vote!
Vote! If your an Libertarian, Vote!
Vote! If your Republican, vote like you've never voted before!
Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.
A Republican, a Democrat, and a Socialist live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the Socialist dies. Why?
everyone else was at work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my grandma what people use to think of democrats and republicans over 70 years ago
*Watching the news with my grandma*
Me: Grammy, when you were really young, did they talk about democrats and republicans, like they do today?
Grandma: What do you mean?
Me: Were they always hostile towards one another, like this lady on the news.
Grandma: Oh yeah, that's one thing that has never changed over the years.
Me: Well, what do you remember people saying about democrats and republicans when you were young.
Me: What is the first thing you remember about it?
Grandma: Well, I always heard the older people say the same thing
Grandma: "Republicans are for the rich, and democrats are for the poor."
Me: What did they say about everyone in the middle?
Grandma: I don't know, they always just talked about getting s**....
When's the only time a Democrat and a Republican are in agreement?
When they're on the same page.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Republicans asked the Democrats what it would take
to stop being considered s**.... The democrats said "Just put forth one presidential candidate who can make a brain surgeon look like an idiot."
Death changes a man
My entire life my father voted straight Republican, since his death he has been voting straight Democrat.
You know what's really great about being a Democrat in Texas on Super Tuesday?
No waiting in line. (An hour and a half wait if you were a Republican.)
What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?
Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.
I was talking to a friend's little girl...
I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were to be the President, what is the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' 'Wow - what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my sidewalks and driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds 'cause she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, the little girl looked me straight in the eye and asked, Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?
And I said, Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart.
A little boy asks his mother what the difference is between a Democrat and a Republican?
The mother thinks hard and comes up with this explanation for the child.
A Democrat is like that very nice aunt you have that always promises to take you to Disneyland. But something always comes up and you never actually go.
A Republican is like a grumpy uncle. Every time you ask him about Disneyland he says absolutely not, we don't have enough money.
But then later you find out that he went with out you anyway.
- Corey Kahaney
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The problem with politics today...
Republicans treat people like dogs
and
Democrats treat dogs like people
There was a Political Drum-Off last week, sponsored by the mathletes...
Democrats and Republicans took turns showing off their best drum licks, while answering math problems in between.
Turns out the Republicans lost. They couldn't handle Al Gore rhythms.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a republican and a democrat?
How much damage can their w**... make...
My life long Republican grandfather voted Democrat for the first time this election.
He died 2 years ago. We miss you Pappy.
What would you call a democrat and republican coming together as one in the bible?
A Bernie Bush
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I haven't seen Democrats this upset with a Republican since...
A Republican took the Democrats' slaves away
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results
The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away
My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died.
Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.
Democrats: "The rains are God crying about Trump's inauguration"....
Republicans: "The storms are why there was such low turnout."
Trump: "The showers remind me of when I was in Russia."
On His Deathbed
On his deathbed, a lifelong Republican supporter suddenly announced that he was switching to the Democrats. I can't believe you're doing this. said his friend. For your entire life you're been a staunch Republican. Why would you want to become a Democrat now? Because I'd rather it was one of them that dies than one of us.
Remember when Republicans and Democrats got along?
Me too. That was before they became byepartisan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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If a conservative is a republican and a liberal is a democrat, what is a moderate?
s**...
There is a man drowning 100 feet from shore and is crying for help.......
A Democrat shows up and throws him 200 feet of rope. The excess rope weighs the victim down and he drowns.
A Republican shows up and throws out 50 feet of rope and demands that the victim take some responsibility for himself and swim to the rope. He can't and drowns.
A libertarian shows up and shrugs it isn't my problem and just goes away; the victim drowns.
A bunch of Tea Party types show up. One throws the victim a heavy rock; the victim drowns and all of the tea partiers cheer.
A Green Party member shows up. He yells at the victim for polluting the water. The victim drowns.
I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high.
It is only 1 Pence.
Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was...
Republicans don't want to play left field.
Democrats don't want to play right.
Nobody wants to play center.
Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination .
This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
I wonder if users deleting facebook are democrat or republican?
Why wonder when I can just pay facebook to find out!
A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats.
The only answer they got back was "Yes."
What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America?
One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Now that the democrats banned straws...
Republicans can no longer use strawman tactics. That's actually really clever.
What do conservatives, republicans, liberals, and democrats all have in common?
They're all boring people for getting so involved in politics
Why didn't the republican promise the homeless person food?
He knew the democrat would promise food, so then the homeless person would die of starvation
The only reason the Democrats haven't risen up and overthrown the government
The Republicans are the ones with the guns.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don't. They pay an i**... immigrant well below minimum wage, lie that they did and then blame it on the Democrats.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Whenever people ask me why I'm an Independent Voter I always tell them
The Republicans freed b**...; but, the Democrats put one in office
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bad Dad Joke:
Q: Did hear about the meeting the Democrats had with the Republicans about m**... legalization?
A: They assembled a joint commission
What's the biggest problem with Trump jokes?
The biggest problem is that Republicans don't find them funny and Democrats don't find them as jokes.
It's sad how Democrats and Republicans can never agree on anything.
They can't even choose which type of ice they will remove.
A Democrat, a Republican and a guy with hemmerhoids walk into a bar...
They're all butthurt.
Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything
Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.
OVERHEARD: "My father was a Republican until the day he died..
Then he became a Democrat."
A Republican says this is like arguing with a Democrat.
^To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead".
Thomas Paine
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A Republican walks up to a Democratic with a face mask and say, do you know what I say to sheep like you?...
Whatever the Republican Party tells me too say.
So yesterday I was talking with Bill, my politician friend. Since he's a Republican, I thought I'd go ahead and ask him how Trump managed to become the face of the Republican Party.
He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "The Democrats kept beating us, so we figured it was time to play our Trump card."
A man gets sick and, fearing he might have Covid, goes to get tested
When the results of his test come back he gets called in and the person asks him, first, are you a Democrat or Republican?
The man says, what? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, if you're a Democrat you've got Covid. But if you're a Republican it's just a hoax.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A Democrat and a Republican were walking along the beach when they spotted a bottle.
They picked it up and a genie popped out.
"I will grant you each one wish, whatever you desire", said the genie.
The Democrat said, "I would like for my fellow liberals and I to live the life and exist under the form of government we believe in!" p**...! All the Democrats in America were whisked away to Venezuela.
The genie turns to the Republican and said, "And what is your wish?"
The Republican paused for a second and said, "You mean to tell me that all the Democrats in America are gone?"
The genie answered, "Yes!"
The Republican goes, "In that case, I'll take a beer."
Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...
... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.
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You know what s**... the most about being a democrat in a republican household?
If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an a**... of yourself
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The Democrats have a plan to make the Republicans sound s**....
Operation "Just Let Them Talk"
