Democrat Jokes

Following is our collection of gop puns and senate one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Democrat jokes for adults, dirty voter jokes and clean proud to be a democrat dad gags for kids.

The Best Democrat Puns

How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They only *talk* about change.

If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving,

If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.

What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat?

I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.

On His Deathbed

On his deathbed, a lifelong Republican supporter suddenly announced that he was switching to the Democrats. I can't believe you're doing this. said his friend. For your entire life you're been a staunch Republican. Why would you want to become a Democrat now? Because I'd rather it was one of them that dies than one of us.

If there weren't any democrats...

then who would be left?


A Democrat, a Republican and a guy with hemmerhoids walk into a bar...

They're all butthurt.

Today it was so cold in the morning that..

I saw a democrat with his hand in his own pocket.

I try to reassure everyone I meet, Republican or Democrat alike - the cost of replacing Trump is actually not that high.

It is only 1 Pence.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat . . .

A Republican sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws the man a 25 foot rope, and expects him to swim half way.
A Democrat sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws him a 100 foot rope. Then lets of of his end.

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

A man gets sick and, fearing he might have Covid, goes to get tested

When the results of his test come back he gets called in and the person asks him, first, are you a Democrat or Republican?

The man says, what? What does that have to do with anything?

Well, if you're a Democrat you've got Covid. But if you're a Republican it's just a hoax.


My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died.

Ever since then, she's voted Democrat.

My grandfather always voted democrat...

But now that he is dead, he can vote democrat twice.

I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans...

... Since they freed the slaves

A gay Republican impregnants a Lesbian Democrat at a crazy house party. They decide to share custody of the child.

It was a bi-party-son agreement.

Help, I'm a Democrat who has a very specific fetish of looking at foreign dictators resting on top of crackers and I'm looking for people into the same as me...

So if you're Blue and you don't know what to search for why don't you look were Fascists sits... Putin on the Ritz

The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side.

Trump agreed.



...but Mexicans refused.

Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election...

....she said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."

A guy walks into a store

He sees three brains on display.

One is a Libertarian Brain, priced at $250.

The second is a Republican Brain, priced at $275.

The third is a Democrat Brain, priced at $5,000,000.

The Guy asks the sales clerk, Man, why does the Democrat brain cost so much more than the other two? Clerk replies, Well, sir, that brain has never been used.


A Democrat walks into a bar

He asks the bartender, "What's your most popular drink?"


Bartender replies, "a Russian Collusion".


The Democrat responds "I'll have one of those."


The bartender then gives him an empty glass and says "enjoy."

If you're from Virginia, you're a Virginian. If you're from New York, you're a New Yorker. If you're from Texas, you're a Texan.

And if you're from Massachusetts, you're a Democrat.

How did the Democrats feel about the results of Georgia's special election ?

The just couldn't Handel the loss. They had worked their Ossof for it.

How Many Democrats Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb

Two. One to explain that they are doing all they possibly can to fix the problem, and another to screw it into the faucet.

I sexually identify as half Democrat and half Republican

I'm bipartisan

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.

Why are Democrats considered more attractive than Republicans?

Never heard of a hot piece of elephant.

What's the difference between a republican and a democrat?

How much damage can their Weiner make...

Q: Why did the Wisconsin democrat cry?

A: He couldn't recall.

OVERHEARD: "My father was a Republican until the day he died..

Then he became a Democrat."

How do Democrats apply their sunscreen?

Liberally.

Why is the Democrat nominee for President so old?

cos he's been biden his time.

What do you call a college democrat with a gun?

Triggered.

Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points.

If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.

I like this new Democratic candidate, Pete Buttigieg. Some people think he's not experienced enough...

But it's my vote, so I'll Buttigieg of that.

The Democratic National Committee

Democratic. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

My life long Republican grandfather voted Democrat for the first time this election.

He died 2 years ago. We miss you Pappy.

My Dad voted Republican his entire life.

After he died he voted Democrat

Hillary was running as Democrat

and her campaign really blue over.

The police got all the democrat protesters in California to leave last night

They gave them participation awards

What do you call a German Democrat?

A Demokraut!

Why don't the democrats want to talk about Joe Biden running in 2020?

...it's a touchy subject.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
A: At least two!

Death changes a man

My entire life my father voted straight Republican, since his death he has been voting straight Democrat.

Did you hear about the commemorative gun they're making in honor of the democrat party and president Obama?

It's called the union worker
You'll over pay
It never works
And you can't fire it

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India. In Usa U Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can't Susu. In India U Can Susu In Public Place But Cant Kiss.

Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren't off of work yet.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?

They can use Flint and Tinder

What does a democratic magician wear?

Appointed Hat.

What did the democrats say after the mid-term elections?

Trump that.

How many democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.



*They just talk about it instead of doing anything.*

Democrats: "The rains are God crying about Trump's inauguration"....

Republicans: "The storms are why there was such low turnout."

Trump: "The showers remind me of when I was in Russia."

You know what's really great about being a Democrat in Texas on Super Tuesday?

No waiting in line. (An hour and a half wait if you were a Republican.)

A Republican, a Democrat, and a Socialist live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the Socialist dies. Why?

everyone else was at work.

Someone told me Joe Biden has dementia.

Finally, a Democrat that Trump voters can relate to.

Democrats are quick to say their side is right but Republicans are even quicker.

You might even say they're Russian it.

There is an abundance of supporter jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 56 funniest jokes and democrat puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any democratic national convention witze you can hear about democrat.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes