Democracy Jokes
60 democracy jokes and hilarious democracy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about democracy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Democracy Short Jokes
Short democracy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The democracy humour may include short democratic jokes also.
- The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
- To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza. I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
- Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
- I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
- In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
- What's the difference between democracy and feudalism? Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes. - How do you get Donald Trump to cut down a tree? Tell him it's one of the pillars of our democracy.
- Democracy and Football What does democracy and football have in common?
\- adding the word American completely changes the meaning... - Democracy obviously doesn't work. I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.
- We sent prince harry to Afghanistan. Because when you want to teach them about democracy, you send them a prince. ...to shoot at them from a helicopter.
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Democracy One Liners
Which democracy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with democracy? I can suggest the ones about democratic party and republic.
- What's the most persuasive argument against democracy? "Have you ever worked in retail?"
- Democracy in Russia I bet you were expecting more.
- What do you call a flawed democracy? An electile dysfunction
- Japan is not a Democracy. It's a Constitutional Monarchy. They don't have big erections.
- US democracy is the envy of the world... It is the greatest that money can buy.
- How do you say 'democracy' in Chinese? You don't.
- The thing with Russian democracy is that you always get what you Putin.
- What do you call a nomadic democracy? A Roman Republic
- What do you get when you mix a Republic and a Truck A Semi-Democracy
- What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not? Democracy
- Teacher: Today's topic is DEMOCRACY Teacher: What is Democracy? Students: Today's topic.
- What did the Turks say to Mustafa Kemal when he introduced democracy? Atta' Turk!
- So I was watching a communist revolution.... and democracy broke out.
- In a democracy one's voice is intimated. When you require 'id' it's intimidated.
- The U.S. is a democracy in only 49 states... Mississippi has a queen
Silly & Ridiculous Democracy Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about democracy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean communism jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make democracy pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why doesn't democracy work in china?
Because no one wants to hold an e**....
The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World
They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.
The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented s**...". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why isn't China a democracy?
Because a billion people would be talking about their *erections*.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I wake up every morning feeling like a Japanese democracy.
Huge e**....
Democracy is when everybody has an equal opportunity
Wolves can eat sheep, sheep can eat wolves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy?
Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national e**...
Teacher: "Okay class, today we are going to talk about democracy"
Students: "Why?"
Teacher: "Because I say it"
To teach my class democracy, I let them vote on what we'd be doing today.
They voted to have a free period, but we live in Texas so we did the normal class work
A wise alien elder told the younglings around it: "Democracy seems great..."
...until you have been to the Planet of Walls.
I wanted to teach my kids about American democracy, so I let them choose what food to have dinner.
They chose pizza, but I gave them tacos since they didn't live in a swing state.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The great thing about democracy...
....is that it gives every voter a chance to do something s**...
Burger King: Have It Your Way!
Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
American's won't stand for Russian interference..
"Only American billionaires are allowed to undermine our Democracy!"
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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We need a wall on our southern border to keep out the filthy, r**..., murdering savages
Keep the Yankees out of our glorious country!
We might be small and weak but at least we are actually a democracy!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian and an American are in a bar talking about democracy
At one point, the American shouts The problem with you Russians is, you don't understand democracy! . To which the Russian eloquently responded What do you mean? We got Trump elected didn't we?
A man is dispatched by the UN to investigate the quality of the democracy in China.
Upon arrival, he has a meeting with the chinese president. He asks the president:
Do you have elections?
The president seems somewhat uncomfortable but answers:
Evely molning
Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...
...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.
Afghanistan is sending 1200 troops to Washington D.C.
on a mission to secure the fragile democracy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Increasing expectation among military analysts in recent days:
United States to invade United States to install democracy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the GOP shoot themselves in the foot?
With a Cult 45.
***
Also works with, How does a democracy die? , etc.
Sorry if someone already thought of this, thought it was clever and didn't see it after a quick glance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States
You might be a r**...
In first, US added to annual list of 'backsliding' democracies
Apparently US is considered a democracy now
