Democracy Jokes

Following is our collection of president puns and constitution one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Democracy jokes for adults, dirty citizens jokes and clean trump dad gags for kids.

The Best Democracy Puns

The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.

Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.

They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

In a democracy, it's your vote that counts...

...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

Democracy in Russia

I bet you were expecting more.


God is talking with the presidents.

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"

Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"

"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."


Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"

Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."

"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."


Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"


Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?

Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.

Why isn't China a democracy?

Because a billion people would be talking about their *erections*.

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.

The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented sex". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."

American's won't stand for Russian interference..

"Only American billionaires are allowed to undermine our Democracy!"


Democracy obviously doesn't work.

I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.

We sent prince harry to Afghanistan. Because when you want to teach them about democracy, you send them a prince.

...to shoot at them from a helicopter.

Why isn't China a democracy?

Because then they'd have to hold erections.

Democracy

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner: pizza or tacos .

They picked pizza.

So I made steamed broccoli because that's what we get after we are done voting.

(Blatant copy from another joke)

US democracy is the envy of the world...

It is the greatest that money can buy.

Japan is not a Democracy. It's a Constitutional Monarchy.

They don't have big erections.

A man is dispatched by the UN to investigate the quality of the democracy in China.

Upon arrival, he has a meeting with the chinese president. He asks the president:

Do you have elections?

The president seems somewhat uncomfortable but answers:

Evely molning

Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy?

Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national erection


To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They voted on pizza.

Then I took all their pocket money, spent it all on booze and blamed my ex-wife for their predicament.

What do you call a nomadic democracy?

A Roman Republic

The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World

They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean

We need a wall on our southern border to keep out the filthy, raping, murdering savages

Keep the Yankees out of our glorious country!

We might be small and weak but at least we are actually a democracy!

The thing with Russian democracy is that you always get what you Putin.

A Russian and an American are in a bar talking about democracy

At one point, the American shouts The problem with you Russians is, you don't understand democracy! . To which the Russian eloquently responded What do you mean? We got Trump elected didn't we?

Burger King: Have It Your Way!

Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!

Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!

Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!

Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!

Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!

Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!

The great thing about democracy...

....is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid

A wise alien elder told the younglings around it: "Democracy seems great..."

...until you have been to the Planet of Walls.

What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

I wanted to teach my kids about American democracy, so I let them choose what food to have dinner.

They chose pizza, but I gave them tacos since they didn't live in a swing state.

Teacher: Today's topic is DEMOCRACY Teacher: What is Democracy?

Students: Today's topic.

Democracy is when everybody has an equal opportunity

Wolves can eat sheep, sheep can eat wolves.

I wake up every morning feeling like a Japanese democracy.

Huge erection.

To teach my class democracy, I let them vote on what we'd be doing today.

They voted to have a free period, but we live in Texas so we did the normal class work

Teacher: "Okay class, today we are going to talk about democracy"

Students: "Why?"

Teacher: "Because I say it"

Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy

"As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything"- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today.

What did the Turks say to Mustafa Kemal when he introduced democracy?

Atta' Turk!

What is the definition of democracy?

Three wolves and a sheep taking a vote on what's for lunch.

Why isn't North Korea a democracy?

Because they can't hold erections.

In a democracy one's voice is intimated.

When you require 'id' it's intimidated.

The U.S. is a democracy in only 49 states...

Mississippi has a queen

Why did the Societ Union fall?

It tripped over democracy

So I was watching a communist revolution....

and democracy broke out.

Archaeologists in Athens have unearthed the crypt of the man many believe was responsible for denying women the right to vote in the ancient democracy.

That man's name? Misogynes.

American War (2016).aXXo.HDRip.mkv

A movie about the spread of peace and democracy around the world.

If you are wondering the difference between democracy and fascism...

Fascism is the Reich choice.

Came up with this one at work, and yes, we were talking about trump.

Sometimes people put so much oil in their food

it makes America attack their homes for democracy.

There is an abundance of fascism jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 47 funniest jokes and democracy puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sovereign witze you can hear about democracy.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes