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Democracy Jokes

60 democracy jokes and hilarious democracy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about democracy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Democracy Short Jokes

Short democracy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The democracy humour may include short democratic jokes also.

  1. The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
  2. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza. I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
  3. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
  4. Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
  5. I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
  6. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  7. My kids were asking me how democracy works, so I let them vote on dinner as a teaching exercise.They picked pizza.. .. but I made tacos, because they don't live in a swing state.
  8. What's the difference between democracy and feudalism? Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
    A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.
  9. Why isn't China a democracy? Because a billion people would be talking about their *erections*.
  10. How do you get Donald Trump to cut down a tree? Tell him it's one of the pillars of our democracy.

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Democracy One Liners

Which democracy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with democracy? I can suggest the ones about democratic party and republic.

  1. What's the most persuasive argument against democracy? "Have you ever worked in retail?"
  2. Democracy in Russia I bet you were expecting more.
  3. What do you call a flawed democracy? An electile dysfunction
  4. In democracy your vote counts. But in feudalism, your Count votes.
  5. Why isn't China a democracy? Because then they'd have to hold erections.
  6. Japan is not a Democracy. It's a Constitutional Monarchy. They don't have big erections.
  7. US democracy is the envy of the world... It is the greatest that money can buy.
  8. How do you say 'democracy' in Chinese? You don't.
  9. The thing with Russian democracy is that you always get what you Putin.
  10. What do you call a nomadic democracy? A Roman Republic
  11. What do you get when you mix a Republic and a Truck A Semi-Democracy
  12. What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not? Democracy
  13. Teacher: Today's topic is DEMOCRACY Teacher: What is Democracy? Students: Today's topic.
  14. What did the Turks say to Mustafa Kemal when he introduced democracy? Atta' Turk!
  15. Why isn't North Korea a democracy? Because they can't hold erections.

Democracy joke, Why isn't North Korea a democracy?

Silly & Ridiculous Democracy Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about democracy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean communism jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make democracy pranks.

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an e**....

The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World

They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean

A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.

The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented s**...". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."

Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy?

Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national e**...

A wise alien elder told the younglings around it: "Democracy seems great..."

...until you have been to the Planet of Walls.

We sent prince harry to Afghanistan. Because when you want to teach them about democracy, you send them a prince.

...to shoot at them from a helicopter.

Democracy obviously doesn't work.

I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.

Burger King: Have It Your Way!

Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!

American's won't stand for Russian interference..

"Only American billionaires are allowed to undermine our Democracy!"

God is talking with the presidents.

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They voted on pizza.

Then I took all their pocket money, spent it all on booze and blamed my ex-wife for their predicament.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner: pizza or tacos .


They picked pizza.
So I made steamed broccoli because that's what we get after we are done voting.

We need a wall on our southern border to keep out the filthy, r**..., murdering savages

Keep the Yankees out of our glorious country!
We might be small and weak but at least we are actually a democracy!

A Russian and an American are in a bar talking about democracy

At one point, the American shouts The problem with you Russians is, you don't understand democracy! . To which the Russian eloquently responded What do you mean? We got Trump elected didn't we?

A man is dispatched by the UN to investigate the quality of the democracy in China.

Upon arrival, he has a meeting with the chinese president. He asks the president:
Do you have elections?
The president seems somewhat uncomfortable but answers:
Evely molning

Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...

...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

Afghanistan is sending 1200 troops to Washington D.C.

on a mission to secure the fragile democracy.

Increasing expectation among military analysts in recent days:

United States to invade United States to install democracy

How did the GOP shoot themselves in the foot?

With a Cult 45.
***
Also works with, How does a democracy die? , etc.
Sorry if someone already thought of this, thought it was clever and didn't see it after a quick glance.

If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States

You might be a r**...

Democracy and Football

What does democracy and football have in common?
\- adding the word American completely changes the meaning...

In first, US added to annual list of 'backsliding' democracies

Apparently US is considered a democracy now

So, I decided to teach my kids about democracy, right?

I was like, 'Alright kids, we're gonna have a vote. We're gonna decide on what show to watch and what food to order.'
And they're excited, they're like, 'Ooh, democracy!'
And I'm like, 'Yeah, this is how it works.'
And then I picked the show and got the food I wanted because I'm the one with the money.

Democracy joke, So, I decided to teach my kids about democracy, right?

jokes about democracy