Silly & Ridiculous Democracy Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?
A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.
Why doesn't democracy work in china?
Because no one wants to hold an e**....
What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?
Democracy
Japan is not a Democracy. It's a Constitutional Monarchy.
They don't have big erections.
The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World
They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean
A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.
The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented s**...". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."
Why isn't China a democracy?
Because a billion people would be talking about their *erections*.
Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?
Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
Why isn't China a democracy?
Because then they'd have to hold erections.
I wake up every morning feeling like a Japanese democracy.
Huge e**....
Greece just demanded royalties from all countries in the world for using democracy
"As for Russia, they don't have to pay us anything"- Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras clarified earlier today.
You can explore democracy president reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean democracy citizens dad jokes. There are also democracy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Democracy is when everybody has an equal opportunity
Wolves can eat sheep, sheep can eat wolves.
Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy?
Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national e**...
Teacher: "Okay class, today we are going to talk about democracy"
Students: "Why?"
Teacher: "Because I say it"
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.
They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
To teach my class democracy, I let them vote on what we'd be doing today.
They voted to have a free period, but we live in Texas so we did the normal class work
In a democracy, it's your vote that counts...
...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A wise alien elder told the younglings around it: "Democracy seems great..."
...until you have been to the Planet of Walls.
Teacher: Today's topic is DEMOCRACY Teacher: What is Democracy?
Students: Today's topic.
We sent prince harry to Afghanistan. Because when you want to teach them about democracy, you send them a prince.
...to shoot at them from a helicopter.
I wanted to teach my kids about American democracy, so I let them choose what food to have dinner.
They chose pizza, but I gave them tacos since they didn't live in a swing state.
What did the Turks say to Mustafa Kemal when he introduced democracy?
Atta' Turk!
Democracy obviously doesn't work.
I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.
The great thing about democracy...
....is that it gives every voter a chance to do something s**...
Burger King: Have It Your Way!
Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!
American's won't stand for Russian interference..
"Only American billionaires are allowed to undermine our Democracy!"
What do you call a nomadic democracy?
A Roman Republic
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
The thing with Russian democracy is that you always get what you Putin.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They voted on pizza.
Then I took all their pocket money, spent it all on booze and blamed my ex-wife for their predicament.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner: pizza or tacos .
They picked pizza.
So I made steamed broccoli because that's what we get after we are done voting.
Democracy in Russia
I bet you were expecting more.
US democracy is the envy of the world...
It is the greatest that money can buy.
We need a wall on our southern border to keep out the filthy, r**..., murdering savages
Keep the Yankees out of our glorious country!
We might be small and weak but at least we are actually a democracy!
The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
A Russian and an American are in a bar talking about democracy
At one point, the American shouts The problem with you Russians is, you don't understand democracy! . To which the Russian eloquently responded What do you mean? We got Trump elected didn't we?
A man is dispatched by the UN to investigate the quality of the democracy in China.
Upon arrival, he has a meeting with the chinese president. He asks the president:
Do you have elections?
The president seems somewhat uncomfortable but answers:
Evely molning
My kids were asking me how democracy works, so I let them vote on dinner as a teaching exercise.They picked pizza..
.. but I made tacos, because they don't live in a swing state.
Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...
...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.
Afghanistan is sending 1200 troops to Washington D.C.
on a mission to secure the fragile democracy.
Increasing expectation among military analysts in recent days:
United States to invade United States to install democracy
How did the GOP shoot themselves in the foot?
With a Cult 45.
***
Also works with, How does a democracy die? , etc.
Sorry if someone already thought of this, thought it was clever and didn't see it after a quick glance.
If you dressed up like a rodeo clown, broke into the capitol, and tried to destroy the democracy of the United States
You might be a r**...
Democracy and Football
What does democracy and football have in common?
\- adding the word American completely changes the meaning...
In democracy your vote counts.
But in feudalism, your Count votes.
What do you call a flawed democracy?
An electile dysfunction
How do you get Donald Trump to cut down a tree?
Tell him it's one of the pillars of our democracy.
In first, US added to annual list of 'backsliding' democracies
Apparently US is considered a democracy now
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.
I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
What's the most persuasive argument against democracy?
"Have you ever worked in retail?"
So, I decided to teach my kids about democracy, right?
I was like, 'Alright kids, we're gonna have a vote. We're gonna decide on what show to watch and what food to order.'
And they're excited, they're like, 'Ooh, democracy!'
And I'm like, 'Yeah, this is how it works.'
And then I picked the show and got the food I wanted because I'm the one with the money.
