Demo Jokes

Following is our collection of jobs puns and confrontation one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Demo jokes for adults, dirty embark jokes and clean opportunities dad gags for kids.

The Best Demo Puns

How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They only *talk* about change.

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

In a democracy, it's your vote that counts...

...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

Democracy in Russia

I bet you were expecting more.

If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving,

If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving.

This has nothing to do with politics.

I just really want to travel.


A Demogorgon, a Dungeon Master and a Sherriff walk in to a bar.

My friend shouts "Wow! I've never seen anything like this. Isn't this amazing?!"

I replied "Nah, I've seen Stranger Things."

Why do demons love apostrophes?

They show possession.

Why did the demon get arrested?

Posession

Demons must be obese...

...Because they hate getting exorcised.

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying


There was a demonstration by homeless people in my town today.

They were demanding change.

If there weren't any democrats...

then who would be left?

A Democrat, a Republican and a guy with hemmerhoids walk into a bar...

They're all butthurt.

Democracy obviously doesn't work.

I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.

Why are demons fat.

Because they hate exorcising.

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

A demolition expert goes on stage during open mic night...

He proceeds to bring the house down.

Democracy

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner: pizza or tacos .

They picked pizza.

So I made steamed broccoli because that's what we get after we are done voting.

(Blatant copy from another joke)


I haven't seen the democrats this mad at republicans...

... Since they freed the slaves

Help, I'm a Democrat who has a very specific fetish of looking at foreign dictators resting on top of crackers and I'm looking for people into the same as me...

So if you're Blue and you don't know what to search for why don't you look were Fascists sits... Putin on the Ritz

The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side.

Trump agreed.



...but Mexicans refused.

A Democrat walks into a bar

He asks the bartender, "What's your most popular drink?"


Bartender replies, "a Russian Collusion".


The Democrat responds "I'll have one of those."


The bartender then gives him an empty glass and says "enjoy."

US democracy is the envy of the world...

It is the greatest that money can buy.

Why are demolition experts and dominatrixes alike?

They both like wrecking balls

How would you tell someone that you want a demon for your birthday?

Asking for a fiend

How Many Democrats Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb

Two. One to explain that they are doing all they possibly can to fix the problem, and another to screw it into the faucet.

I took my demolition working friend to a cheese tasting

He tried a bit of everything, and was amazed to how many different cheeses there are. His favorite cheese in the end was 'de brie'

How did the Democrats feel about the results of Georgia's special election ?

The just couldn't Handel the loss. They had worked their Ossof for it.

They demolished my local Domino's Pizza shop...

yesterday, and then all the other shops on the street fell down.

You fall asleep in lecture

and when you wake up you cannot remember what class you are in. A demonstration is happening at the front of the class. How do you figure out where you are?

If the demo moves its biology, if it stinks its chemistry, and if it doesn't work its physics.

Why are Democrats considered more attractive than Republicans?

Never heard of a hot piece of elephant.

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

What did the demonic junkie get charged with?

Two counts of possession

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.

Why is the Democrat nominee for President so old?

cos he's been biden his time.

How do Democrats apply their sunscreen?

Liberally.

The demolition workers performed at the workers event last night.

Heard they brought down the house with their act.

Which demon is the average YouTuber most afraid of?

Demonetization.

How do demonic hookers find John's?

They get on the succubus.

I like this new Democratic candidate, Pete Buttigieg. Some people think he's not experienced enough...

But it's my vote, so I'll Buttigieg of that.

How are demons getting to work?

With the succu-bus

How do we know when we have truly demolished gender roles?

When men breastfeed in public just as frequently as women.

The Democratic National Committee

Democratic. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Why are most demolitions experts happy?

They get the best blow jobs in town.

Democracy is when everybody has an equal opportunity

Wolves can eat sheep, sheep can eat wolves.

What's a demolition expert's favorite cheese?

Debris.

How many democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None.



*They just talk about it instead of doing anything.*

What did the democrats say after the mid-term elections?

Trump that.

Why don't the democrats want to talk about Joe Biden running in 2020?

...it's a touchy subject.

Democrats are quick to say their side is right but Republicans are even quicker.

You might even say they're Russian it.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?

They can use Flint and Tinder

How can you tell which demon farted in a crowd of demons?

Look for the one that's ember-assed.

Democrats: "The rains are God crying about Trump's inauguration"....

Republicans: "The storms are why there was such low turnout."

Trump: "The showers remind me of when I was in Russia."

What does a democratic magician wear?

Appointed Hat.

Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren't off of work yet.

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India

Democratic Difrence Between Usa & India. In Usa U Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can't Susu. In India U Can Susu In Public Place But Cant Kiss.

There is an abundance of chefs jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 57 funniest jokes and demo puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any protesters witze you can hear about demo.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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