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Demetri Martin Jokes

9 demetri martin jokes and hilarious demetri martin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about demetri martin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Comical & Quirky Demetri Martin Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What is a good demetri martin joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Apparently "I'm sorry" and "My bad" are same thing

unless you're at a f**...
[Demetri martin]

Today I witnessed an amputee being hanged.

I tried to save him, but yelled out all the wrong letters.
(H/T Demetri Martin)

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What did the sign for the s**... club say during the day?

Sorry, we're clothed
Taken from Demetri Martin

A guy waved at me and ran over the other day...

He said "oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"
I said, "I am"
-Demetri Martin

My friend asked me to put him into one of my jokes

i said "Sure how about this one?"
[credit to Demetri Martin]

[demetri martin] A drunk driver is very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver

if he's persuasive.
"Go left."
-"Dude those are trees."
"trust me."

If I had a bookstore

I'd make the mystery section really hard to find
(Credits: Demetri Martin)

My friend is a big fan of similes. He's like...

...annoying.

New Year's Resolution

1024 x 768
-- Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin joke, New Year's Resolution

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Demetri Martin joke, New Year's Resolution

Demetri Martin joke, New Year's Resolution