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Delusions Jokes

21 delusions jokes and hilarious delusions puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about delusions that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Delusions Short Jokes

Short delusions jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The delusions humour may include short delusional jokes also.

  1. I visited the library the other day. I asked the librarian where the books on paranoid delusions were kept.
    She leaned in close to me and whispered,
    "They're behind you!"
  2. I told my therapist that I was suffering from affluenza. He diagnosed me with delusions of grandeur.
  3. I used to suffer from delusions that I was a bland, flavourless cut of meat... but now I'm cured.
  4. My psychiatrist told me my superiority complex turned into a delusion of inferiority. Great. Now I'm the least of my problems.
  5. I used to have delusions that I was living in the past. I'm fine today though and that happened hundreds of years ago.
  6. I spent last night shouting at my psychiatrist Long story short he's convinced I have delusions of being a pony... I'd tell you more, but I'm a little hoarse.
  7. The shrinks diagnosed me as a sociopath with paranoid delusions. But they're just out to get me.
  8. My girlfriend told me I suffer from delusions of grandeur I was so shocked that I almost fell of my throne
  9. I used to have delusions that I was Matthew Mcconaughey But now I'm alright alright alright.
  10. My receptionist says you came here with two problems. Patient: I have delusions of grandure and can't seem to get a grip on reality.
    Doc: And what's the other problem?
    Patient: I'm Batman.

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Delusions One Liners

Which delusions one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with delusions? I can suggest the ones about schizophrenia and paranoia.

  1. Hallucination An optical delusion.
  2. My doctor said I have superiority delusions Well, who is he to say that?
  3. I suffer from delusions of having the ultimate vehicle... ...It's driving me up the wall.
  4. What happened when the number 8 got drunk? He fell over and had delusions of grandeur.
  5. How do you gain delusions of grandeur? Be over 6 feet tall and never play sports.
  6. My delusions of self-grandeur told my God-Complex That they stopped believing in him
  7. The Donald is DOA He suffers from Delusions Of Adequacy
  8. is it just me? or was everyone suffering from delusions of gange yesterday?
  9. What would disguise itself as a rat? A mouse with delusions of grandeur.

Delusions joke, What would disguise itself as a rat?

Gather Around for Heartwarming Delusions Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about delusions you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean denial jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make delusions pranks.

paranoid fantasies

A woman is laying on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist says, "I want to talk about these paranoid fantasies you've been having of being stalked by a man who is disguising himself as furniture. How long have you been having these delusions?"
The woman says, "About 5 months."
The couch says, "It's been 6 months, actually."

Three boys talk in the schoolyard:

Boy one: "You know, my mom's mouth is so big, that she can s**... a whole cinnamon bun in one bite!"
Boy two: "Whatever, my mom can s**... a panini with just one bite!"
Boy three: "Those are rookie numbers! My mom can s**... a whole floor lamp in one gulp!"
Boy one and boy two look at boy three with delusion, and ask him how he knows she can do it, boy three answers:
"I heard when mommy and daddy where talking with each other in the other room the other night. Mom whispered: "turn off the floor lamp, i'll take it in my mouth.""

Delusions joke, I used to have delusions that I was Matthew Mcconaughey