Gather Around for Heartwarming Delusions Jokes and Uplifting Humor
I visited the library the other day.
I asked the librarian where the books on paranoid delusions were kept.
She leaned in close to me and whispered,
"They're behind you!"
I told my therapist that I was suffering from affluenza.
He diagnosed me with delusions of grandeur.
I used to suffer from delusions that I was a bland, flavourless cut of meat...
but now I'm cured.
paranoid fantasies
A woman is laying on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist says, "I want to talk about these paranoid fantasies you've been having of being stalked by a man who is disguising himself as furniture. How long have you been having these delusions?"
The woman says, "About 5 months."
The couch says, "It's been 6 months, actually."
I used to have delusions that I was living in the past.
I'm fine today though and that happened hundreds of years ago.
I spent last night shouting at my psychiatrist
Long story short he's convinced I have delusions of being a pony... I'd tell you more, but I'm a little hoarse.
The shrinks diagnosed me as a sociopath with paranoid delusions.
But they're just out to get me.
My girlfriend told me I suffer from delusions of grandeur
I was so shocked that I almost fell of my throne
I used to have delusions that I was Matthew Mcconaughey
But now I'm alright alright alright.
My doctor said I have superiority delusions
Well, who is he to say that?
My receptionist says you came here with two problems.
Patient: I have delusions of grandure and can't seem to get a grip on reality.
Doc: And what's the other problem?
Patient: I'm Batman.
You can explore delusions medically reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean delusions schizophrenia dad jokes. There are also delusions puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A duck walks into a bar and says "Quack"
His psychologist takes a sip of his beer, diagnoses the duck as suffering from delusions, and tells the duck to leave his office.
I suffer from delusions of having the ultimate vehicle...
...It's driving me up the wall.
What happened when the number 8 got drunk?
He fell over and had delusions of grandeur.
How do you gain delusions of grandeur?
Be over 6 feet tall and never play sports.
My flat-earther friend was diagnosed by a psychologist
He suffers from very sphere delusions.
My delusions of self-grandeur told my God-Complex
That they stopped believing in him
The Donald is DOA
He suffers from Delusions Of Adequacy
My doctor said I'm suffering from delusions of grandeur.
He's only saying that because he wants to be me.
