Delusional Jokes
27 delusional jokes and hilarious delusional puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about delusional that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Delusional Short Jokes
Short delusional jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The delusional humour may include short delusions jokes also.
- My girlfriend threatened to leave unless I stopped being delusional and admitted that I am not a Transformer But I told her Babe, I can change!
- My girlfriend broke up with me for being too delusional. But I don't think that I have that problem, right giant cabbage?
- What do you call hypocrite , autistic , cringy , lying delusional human beings ? Youtubers (90%)
- What's the difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Ayn Rand? One author is delusional and whose fans follow blindly like a religion...and the other is L. Ron Hubbard.
- "I want my future kids to think 'wow mommy and daddy are really in love' " So you want them to be delusional?
- Difference between Trump and Gritty? One is orange, crazed, and liked only by a delusional fan base. The other is the Flyer's mascot.
- I got really annoyed today when someone told me I was delusional. I was so upset I nearly fell off my unicorn
- If an alcoholic is someone addicted to alcoholic and a chocoholic is someone addicted to chocolate, then what's a Catholic? Delusional.
- Did you hear about the delusional electrician? Turns out, he wasn't properly **grounded** in reality.
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Delusional One Liners
Which delusional one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with delusional? I can suggest the ones about paranoid and schizophrenic.
- The other day my friend told me I was delusional... ...I nearly fell off of my unicorn.
- I've recently been diagnosed as delusional.
- People who claim to talk to God are so delusional.. I've never talked to any of them.
- My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional.
- Thom Yorke's phone thinks someone is listening in on its calls... ...delusional iPhone.
- My girlfriend says I'm delusional. She doesn't exist, so she's probably right.
- I'm neither arrogant nor delusional. I just am the zenith of confidence.
- I'm in a band called Delusional b**.... I know what you're thinking...great name
Amusing Delusional Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about delusional you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lunatic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make delusional pranks.
Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland,report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality.
It's nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling his old self.
Trump and Obama having a private conversation in 2012
Trump: Mr. Obama, out of sheer curiosity, what must I need to do in order to be elected President of the United States?
Obama: President?? You have to be s**..., ignorant, probably delusional to think you can be qualified to be the President of the United States!
Trump: Perfect, I will see you on your way out then.
Obama: What???
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
Donald Trump's has said his favorite movie is Citizen Kane
It's about a guy who inherited his wealth, flirted with fascism, and ended up a delusional, sad man.
I really don't have anything to add to that.
