The Best 18 Delusional Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Delusional jokes. There are some delusional narcissist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these delusional hallucination puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Delusional Jokes and Puns

Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland,report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality.

It's nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling his old self.

The other day my friend told me I was delusional...

...I nearly fell off of my unicorn.

I've recently been diagnosed as delusional.

Delusional joke, I've recently been diagnosed as delusional.

People who claim to talk to God are so delusional..

I've never talked to any of them.

I'm in a band called Delusional Bastards.

I know what you're thinking...great name


Trump and Obama having a private conversation in 2012

Trump: Mr. Obama, out of sheer curiosity, what must I need to do in order to be elected President of the United States?

Obama: President?? You have to be stupid, ignorant, probably delusional to think you can be qualified to be the President of the United States!

Trump: Perfect, I will see you on your way out then.

Obama: What???

My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional.

Delusional joke, My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional.

My girlfriend broke up with me for being too delusional.

But I don't think that I have that problem, right giant cabbage?

What do you call hypocrite , autistic , cringy , lying delusional human beings ?

Youtubers (90%)

What's the difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Ayn Rand?

One author is delusional and whose fans follow blindly like a religion...and the other is L. Ron Hubbard.

Thom Yorke's phone thinks someone is listening in on its calls...

...delusional iPhone.

You can explore delusional crazy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean delusional mothership dad jokes. There are also delusional puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My girlfriend says I'm delusional.

She doesn't exist, so she's probably right.

"I want my future kids to think 'wow mommy and daddy are really in love' "

So you want them to be delusional?

Donald Trump's has said his favorite movie is Citizen Kane

It's about a guy who inherited his wealth, flirted with fascism, and ended up a delusional, sad man.

I really don't have anything to add to that.

Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

Difference between Trump and Gritty?

One is orange, crazed, and liked only by a delusional fan base. The other is the Flyer's mascot.

Delusional joke, Difference between Trump and Gritty?

I got really annoyed today when someone told me I was delusional.

I was so upset I nearly fell off my unicorn

If an alcoholic is someone addicted to alcoholic and a chocoholic is someone addicted to chocolate, then what's a Catholic?

Delusional.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the delusional alt jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working delusional evaluation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes