Delta Jokes

Following is our collection of personnel puns and zeta one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Delta jokes for adults, dirty phi jokes and clean lima dad gags for kids.

The Best Delta Puns

Agent: "Welcome to Delta, can I help you?"

Passenger: "Hi, I'm going to Boston. I'd like this bag sent to Miami, and this one to Atlanta."

Agent: "I'm sorry, but we can't do that sir."

Passenger: "Really? Because you did it last week..."

Credit to /u/SilverbackBob

Did you hear Delta is no longer allowing road kill in checked bags?

It's only carrion

Discount Air Rides

Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, 'What trip?'

Say "Unreliable Airline" three times fast.


D.E.L.T.A. Airlines

Didn't Even Leave The Airport

My friend took Delta to court after his luggage went missing ...

He lost his case.

My friend was flying with Delta airlines

I told him: "Don't expect luggage to arrive".

He later informed me his luggage didn't even leave the airport.

American airlines, Delta Air Lines, and United Airlines all had a race...

United Airlines beat them all, united airlines beats EVERYBODY.

Muslims are boycotting Delta...

Now making Delta the safest airline

If you can read this...

India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.

Job Opportunity for Flat Earthers

Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.

Trans-continental blonde ....

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

So Delta and United Airlines are in a bar...

United: "We threw a doctor off our plane!"

Delta glances around, spies baby....

Delta: "Hold my beer..."

If you want to have rough sex

Go with Delta cause they will bang up everything you own

I'm starting a new Egyptian fraternity, would you like to join?

It's called Delta Delta Delta.

My brother joined the DELTA forces

Now he's a changed man

More Bad United Joke

You know you feel jet lagged after flying on delta.. So how do you after being on United.

Really beat.

I ordered a Delta Chi at Starbucks this morning.

It came with 4 shots.

Did you guys hear about the new Delta Airlines restaurant?

You order your meal and its delivered to another table in Switzerland.

A mathematician wanted some change to his career he started dealing drugs

He delta huge amount of drugs.

With the new announcement of the space force, Donald Trump decided to call this branch...

Space Patrol Delta! The catch phrase will be, SPD emergency.

Why did the gay anarchist go to Athens?

He wanted the delta

I'll never fly delta again.

I tried to board with two dead comfort cats and they said I could only have one carrion.

Today I could not even touch the food of Delta airlines while traveling back to home

Because I was traveling in American airlines

Delta airlines is probably chomping at the bit to get into the commercial space travel industry

After all

In space no one can hear you scream

Delta Airlines Motto

We're not happy until you're not happy.

Give a man a ticket to fly on Delta, and he will fly for a day.

Give a man a ticket to fly on United Airlines, and he will fly for the rest of his life.

Delta: We're #2

## And you can be too!

Why was Delta always so well rested?

Because she has such good REM.

I'm looking to adopt, but the waiting list is full.

Guess I'll just follow a couple of families flying Delta

I've never used them in the past, but I decided to start using Delta airlines.

I guess it was time for a change.

There is an abundance of nile jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes and delta puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any rho witze you can hear about delta.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes