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Delivers Mail Jokes

34 delivers mail jokes and hilarious delivers mail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about delivers mail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Delivers Mail Short Jokes

Short delivers mail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The delivers mail humour may include short postal service jokes also.

  1. What did the blacksmith say to the knight when he delivered the knight's new armor? You've got mail
  2. Two postman compete to see who can deliver more letters, what do you call the winner? The alpha mail
  3. [washing hands after delivering a baby] That thing really didn't want to fit in the mail box.
  4. What do you call a critical horse? A nay-sayer.
    Thought of this while delivering mail in the countryside.
  5. What does the Postal Service have in common with Medieval Blacksmiths? They both deliver the Mail.
  6. Did you hear about the mail-order surgery kit you can have delivered straight to your door? It's called Suture Self.
  7. I'm always extra nice to the guy who used to deliver my mail. I'd hate to get into a fist fight with an ex-professional mail boxer.
  8. What is it called when brown envelopes aren't delivered as quickly as white ones? White Mail Privilege
  9. The Post Office has been mis-delivering mails lately... ...this issue has to be seriously addressed.
  10. Have you heard the one about the mail lady who got fed up and stopped delivering mail? Never mind, you won't get it.

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Delivers Mail One Liners

Which delivers mail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with delivers mail? I can suggest the ones about delivery service and postal worker.

  1. Who delivered the mail back when Jesus was alive? The apostal service
  2. What do you call a black person who delivers mail? A mailman
  3. Why do feminists hate the postal service? Because they deliver straight white mail.
  4. What kind of mail gets delivered to drug addicts? Junk e-mail
  5. What do you call a transgendered person who delivers iron products? Fe Mail Man
  6. Why do they call Hannibal Lecter The Mail Man ? He always delivers.
  7. What is the worst mail company? OP, because they never deliver.

Fun-Filled Delivers Mail Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about delivers mail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mailed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make delivers mail pranks.

Three insurance salesmen, Al, Ben, and Carl, are bragging about their accomplishments.

"Last month," says Al, "when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within six hours. The next day, I put a check in the mail for his family."
"That's nothing," says Ben. "Last week, when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within 30 minutes. That very day, I personally delivered a check to his family."
"Amateurs," says Carl. "Yesterday, one of my insured was fixing the roof of my office building when he fell off the roof. I handed him his check when he passed my window."

Need the punch line to this joke.

So I'm channel surfing with my 10 yo son and we hear this joke. What kind of shark delivers mail? Well I clicked to the next channel before the punch line. So if anyone has heard this joke I'd appreciate it if you could tell me the punch line.

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer.


For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end…
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

A old woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $3.

95 for fast delivery or $2.30 for slower service.
“There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.”
He glanced at her and said, “That will be $3.95, please.”

My wife convinced me to try some roleplay.

She said she wanted to be a s**... mail-carrier.
She's so good at it, she even keeps delivering to the neighbor's house on accident.

I need advice.

My wife and I were walking back to our car thru the Wal-Mart parking lot and I saw a wallet laying on the ground.
In it was the usual stuff, business cards, drivers licence, credit cards and $200.00.
I know that if you find a wallet or purse with a something in it with an address on it,
you can drop it in any public mail box and they will deliver it to the person that lost it, which intend to do.
my dilemma is about the $200.00.




Do I tell my wife about it or keep it all to myself?

The boy went to say his nightly prayers....

His father listened from the door as the boy said "God bless mommy, God bless Daddy, God Bless Grandma, goodbye grandpa"
The next day the family awoke to found the grandpa dead, but brushed it off as an awful coincidence.
A few days go by and the boy is saying his prayer "God bless mommy, God bless Daddy, goodbye Grandma."
Sure enough the next day she is dead, and the father is starting to really freak out.
A week goes by and the boy is saying his prayers "God bless mommy, goodbye Daddy"
The next day the father wakes up, goes to work, and stresses the entire day about his fate. When he gets home he is upset and wants to console with his wife. She is also upset and he asks what wrong.
She says "You'll never believe what happened today the mailman came to deliver the mail and dropped dead right on the doorstep"

The postman and kisses dilevery .

There was a postman who is always happy. in the other side there is harry who would just stares at the happy postman everyday and asks himself "What's the secret of this man".
One day Harry decided to stop the postman and ask him why he's always smiling and happy, what he did.
the postman answered:"Whenever I'm handing a mail to a women I kisses her and I get more than just a kiss sometimes."
Harry liked the idea and went to a poste office and proposed for the job then he got it . In his first delivery Harry was so excited try the kissing thing out, and as he thought, there was a hot women in front of the first door, he went directly towared her and pasted her a kiss staight in the lips, in the middle of that her husband suddenly appeared in front him and asked:"w**... ARE YOU DOING."
"I'm just delivering a 'kiss' was sent from China" Harry answered in a sporadic tone.
"Very nice, you came on time, I want to send a 'Fuck' with you to South Africa" the husband responded while draging Harry into the house.
This is also a translated joke, hope it's better than the first one

Mailman's last day on the job

A mailman is on his last day of the job after 20 years delivering the mail on the same route. He is going about his regular routine, when he is greeted at the door by a stunning blonde. She's wearing nothing more than a skimpy robe and beckons him inside. Without a word she leads him up the stairs and into the bedroom and proceeds to give him the best s**... of his life. After they both get dressed, she takes his hand and leads him downstairs. There is a gourmet meal prepared on the table and she pulls out a chair and indicates for him to sit down. Without a word he sits and they eat until they cannot eat another bite. He finishes eating and slumps back in his chair. The woman stands up and walks over to him, slipping a $1 bill in his front pocket. Bewildered the man finally asks "What in the world is all of this for?". The woman responds, "I heard it was your last day and asked my husband what we should do for you. He said 'Fuck him, give him a dollar'. The breakfast was my idea".

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. they were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and "kick it up a notch."
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. the husband continued to feel quite well.
Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mail man was dead on the porch.