Following is our collection of pastries puns and parm one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Delicious jokes for adults, dirty delightful jokes and clean eat dad gags for kids.
.....and it was delicious
- A. Steak Bowls
- B. Delicious Tacos
- C. Chips
- D. Burritos
- E. Coli
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
A recently married couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the food was served, the husband said, "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: "Honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home. Won't you do that here?"
Husband: "That's at home sweetheart. Here the chef knows how to cook."
Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurantβ¦
As the food was served, Husband said:
The Food looks delicious, let's eat.
Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart⦠Here the chef knows how to cook.
And it was delicious
After that I had a massive vowel movement.
He sits down, and starts looking through the menu. After a while, the waiter comes over.
"What would you like to drink, sir?" Asked the waiter.
"A glass of the house wine please." The lion responds.
"Excellent choice sir! Might I recommend the Salmon for the starter?"
"Sounds delicious!"
"And what can I get you for your main?"
"Oh, just a comb."
... when he smells the delicious aroma of freshly baked apple pie. He calls over his grandson and whispers, "Boy, go ask your grandma for a slice of that pie."
The boy scampers off and returns a minute later, replying, "Grandma says no, it's for after the funeral."
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."
"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"
His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."
The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"
It was just horrifying, I was on a boat in a lake, when suddenly my boat tipped over! As I fell into the lake I realized it was orange, orange crush infact! Tasted delicious, but after a minute I started sinking, I was going to drown in a lake of orange crush!
That's when I woke up and realized, it was just a fanta-sea
"Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now."
and it was delicious.
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.
Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.
The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."
A connoisaur
...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.
After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"
"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"
"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."
The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.
At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.
I'm just not sure what I should do with the bike...
One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming hot carbs around me, I knew that for now, escape would have to be my mission.
Mission in pasta bowl.
It had some chunks, but it was delicious.
He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and thrust into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.
He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."
When their food arrives, the man exclaims Well this looks delicious! Let's eat
But don't we have to say prayer first? Says the woman
Honey, we do that at home. Here the chef knows how to cook
The White kid responds, "Last night my mother made a Cheese and Liver sandwich. It was delicious."
The Black kid responds, "Last night my Dad told my Mom to go get groceries. When she came back without the Government cheese, he punched her in the liver."
The Mexican kid responds, "Last night some vatos tried looking up my sisters skirt. So I tell them, HEY LIVER ALONE! CHEESE MY SISTER!"
And it was delicious.
But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
And it was delicious.
I said, "Grandma, how do you like the bird I sent?"
She said, "It was delicious."
I said, "You ate it?! That was a two thousand dollar talking bird!" She said, "Well, he should have said something."
6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!
It was delicious.
1) Chuck the tofu.
2) Fry a juicy steak.
The steaks were high, but were otherwise delicious
I have removed all bad food from the houseβ¦it was delicious.
It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it
Not as delicious as it sounds
The clock hits 12:30 and the meeting breaks for lunch. Being that he's in New York, the consulate requests to go out to lunch at a local Deli. An intern is charge with taking him out. As they are sitting and eating the consulate turns to the intern and exclaims,
"I have to admit, these bagels are really delicious! We don't have bagels like this in Germany."
"Well," the intern replies, "whose fault is that?"
I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
It was delicious
She's dead and berried.
Delicious
First lion sighed and said: "I'm really sorry about the loss of your kids, bro..."
Second lion nodded and bowed his head: "Yes, may they rest in peace. Sometimes I blame myself, but they were so delicious!!"
but who cares, he was delicious!
One tastes delicious to you and you taste delicious to one.
... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my throat and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"
MMMM
The hardest part is hunting down the vegan.
I'm happy home economics introduced me to such a delicious fruit.
...Stevie Wonder was delicious
Not Nestle Sara Lee
It's a perfect mix between Coronavirus and Lyme disease
"It was delicious," says man.
Delicious!!
One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.
*-Hannibal Lecter*
Me: what would you recommend?
Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.
Me: sounds good .
Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.
Me: awesome, noted.
Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey Jack cheese but has delicious pepper chunks in it.
Me: weird flecks, but ok!
It's delicious, but a lot.
A lazy guy went fishing but forgot the worms. So instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it; "I am a delicious worm!", attached it the hook and threw it in the water .. After 3 hours of waiting, he finally felt a drag.. so he quickly pulled the hook out of the water, and found a different piece of paper that says: ".. And I am a delicious fish ;)"
you must be an eggspert.
Father O'Malley put down his ham and cheese sandwich and commented, This sandwich is so good! Kosher dietary restrictions made sense in ancient times, but when are you going to join the modern age and eat delicious, wholesome food like this?
Without missing a beat, Rabbi Schwartz replied, At your wedding.
Cold on the inside and 90% artificial.
Shaquille Oatmeal
A waiter approached our table and asked us if we enjoyed our meal.
It was absolutely delicious, I ate every last bit! said my wife.
And Sir? said the waiter. How did you find the pork belly?
Oh, about six years ago, we met at a sales convention.
So he baked some white fudge treacle tarts and put them down on a table. Ken walked up and was like, "ooh, these tarts smell delicious" and he started to pick one up, when Ryu grabbed the whole plate and did a jumping-spinning kick at Ken while yelling "THESE TARTS AREN'T FOR YOU KEN!"
John was sitting on a bench eating a poptart, with one of his arms on the inside of his shirt instead of through his sleeve. One of his friends came up and said, "Oh man, a pop tart?! That looks delicious! Where'd you get it!" John responded, "At the store down the street, but be careful, in this economy it'll cost you an arm and a leg."
I eat them straight out of the box.
At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited to find a chocolate milk machine. But her aunt did not approve. Chocolate milk for dinner? she asked.
It's delicious! said my daughter.
Her aunt shrugged. Well, its 8 a.m. somewhere.
Good korma.
it should be called Ethereal box.
Slightly amazing every time you see them, able to brigthen a cold dark place, mysterious until you find the little button that turns them on, constantly showing delicious food and beers, producing no audible sound, always in the kitchen, and there when you need them but gone at the flick of your wrist.
Pho King Delicious.
Vietnoms
And it was delicious
The buffet was alright, but the wedding cat was delicious.
There is an abundance of tasty jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 74 funniest jokes and delicious puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any donuts witze you can hear about delicious.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.