Delicious Jokes

Following is our collection of pastries puns and parm one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Delicious jokes for adults, dirty delightful jokes and clean eat dad gags for kids.

The Best Delicious Puns

Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house....

.....and it was delicious

What is Chipotle most known for?

- A. Steak Bowls
- B. Delicious Tacos
- C. Chips
- D. Burritos
- E. Coli

Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...

Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."

A recently married couple...

A recently married couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the food was served, the husband said, "The food looks delicious, let's eat."

Wife: "Honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home. Won't you do that here?"

Husband: "That's at home sweetheart. Here the chef knows how to cook."

Couple in a Restaurant – Joke

Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurant…

As the food was served, Husband said:
The Food looks delicious, let's eat.

Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart… Here the chef knows how to cook.


(√-1) (2^3) (Σπ)

And it was delicious

I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup.

After that I had a massive vowel movement.

A lion goes into a restaurant

He sits down, and starts looking through the menu. After a while, the waiter comes over.
"What would you like to drink, sir?" Asked the waiter.
"A glass of the house wine please." The lion responds.
"Excellent choice sir! Might I recommend the Salmon for the starter?"
"Sounds delicious!"
"And what can I get you for your main?"
"Oh, just a comb."

An old man is lying on his death bed...

... when he smells the delicious aroma of freshly baked apple pie. He calls over his grandson and whispers, "Boy, go ask your grandma for a slice of that pie."

The boy scampers off and returns a minute later, replying, "Grandma says no, it's for after the funeral."

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

Two cannibals are eating a missionary starting at opposite ends.

One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."


A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner

"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"

His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."

The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"

I had this horrible nightmare last night!

It was just horrifying, I was on a boat in a lake, when suddenly my boat tipped over! As I fell into the lake I realized it was orange, orange crush infact! Tasted delicious, but after a minute I started sinking, I was going to drown in a lake of orange crush!

That's when I woke up and realized, it was just a fanta-sea

At Indian Restaurant

"Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now."

A man is stranded on a dessert island

and it was delicious.

A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...

A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.

Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."

The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.

The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."

Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"

Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."

What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food?

A connoisaur

A fine-looking gentleman sat down in...

...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.

After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"

"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"

"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."

I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.

The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.

At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.


For my birthday, my friend bought me a book called, "Road Kill Recipes". As luck would have it, the very next day, I came across some road kill, so I cooked it according to one of the recipes in the book and it was delicious...

I'm just not sure what I should do with the bike...

I work as a spy for the US government.

One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming hot carbs around me, I knew that for now, escape would have to be my mission.

Mission in pasta bowl.

I saved my cannibal neighbor's daughter from drowning today. Her father was so grateful he gave me a hand shake.

It had some chunks, but it was delicious.

A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.

He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and thrust into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.

He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."

A man and a woman are in a restaurant...

When their food arrives, the man exclaims Well this looks delicious! Let's eat

But don't we have to say prayer first? Says the woman

Honey, we do that at home. Here the chef knows how to cook

A teacher tells her students to make a sentence using the words "cheese" and "liver"...

The White kid responds, "Last night my mother made a Cheese and Liver sandwich. It was delicious."

The Black kid responds, "Last night my Dad told my Mom to go get groceries. When she came back without the Government cheese, he punched her in the liver."

The Mexican kid responds, "Last night some vatos tried looking up my sisters skirt. So I tell them, HEY LIVER ALONE! CHEESE MY SISTER!"

√-1 2^3 βˆ‘ Ξ 

And it was delicious.

I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms

But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass

√(βˆ’1) 8 βˆ‘ Ο€

And it was delicious.

Grandma and the Bird

I said, "Grandma, how do you like the bird I sent?"
She said, "It was delicious."
I said, "You ate it?! That was a two thousand dollar talking bird!" She said, "Well, he should have said something."

Had Irish 7 coarse meal for lunch today

6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!

Diet Day 1: Just removed all the fattening food from my house.

It was delicious.

Truly delicious tofu recipe:

1) Chuck the tofu.

2) Fry a juicy steak.

I've been giving my cows weed to make their meat taste better

The steaks were high, but were otherwise delicious

Diet - day 1:

I have removed all bad food from the house…it was delicious.

Marriage is like a bar of soap...

It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it

Battered Women

Not as delicious as it sounds

The German consulate is in NYC for a big UN meeting...

The clock hits 12:30 and the meeting breaks for lunch. Being that he's in New York, the consulate requests to go out to lunch at a local Deli. An intern is charge with taking him out. As they are sitting and eating the consulate turns to the intern and exclaims,

"I have to admit, these bagels are really delicious! We don't have bagels like this in Germany."

"Well," the intern replies, "whose fault is that?"

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called 'Road-Kill Recipes'

I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.

Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

My doctor told me to get rid of all the bad food in my pantry.

It was delicious

My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish.

She's dead and berried.

What's a baby cow called?

Delicious

Two lions spoke at a funeral...

First lion sighed and said: "I'm really sorry about the loss of your kids, bro..."

Second lion nodded and bowed his head: "Yes, may they rest in peace. Sometimes I blame myself, but they were so delicious!!"

The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong...

but who cares, he was delicious!

What is the difference between a freshly made pizza and a hungry jungle tiger?

One tastes delicious to you and you taste delicious to one.

A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest

... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my throat and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"

The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,

"Have you ever puked?"

Year 4000 will be a delicious year.

MMMM

Vegan ribs are actually delicious!

The hardest part is hunting down the vegan.

I had my first date in high school.

I'm happy home economics introduced me to such a delicious fruit.

In a blind taste test

...Stevie Wonder was delicious

If a chocolatier and a pastry chef have a child together, will they also make delicious food?

Not Nestle Sara Lee

Y'all heard of that new disease called Delicious?

It's a perfect mix between Coronavirus and Lyme disease

HEADLINE: MAN EATING LIZARD FOUND IN FOREST

"It was delicious," says man.

If Londoners are what you call people from London and New Yorkers are what you call people from New York, what are Hamburgers??

Delicious!!

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.

*-Hannibal Lecter*

So, there I was buying cheese in a deli.

Me: what would you recommend?

Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.

Me: sounds good .

Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.

Me: awesome, noted.

Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey Jack cheese but has delicious pepper chunks in it.

Me: weird flecks, but ok!

Have you ever eaten a whale?

It's delicious, but a lot.

"The FISH joke"

A lazy guy went fishing but forgot the worms. So instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it; "I am a delicious worm!", attached it the hook and threw it in the water .. After 3 hours of waiting, he finally felt a drag.. so he quickly pulled the hook out of the water, and found a different piece of paper that says: ".. And I am a delicious fish ;)"

To make a delicious omlette...

you must be an eggspert.

Rabbi Schwartz and Father O'Malley were at a diner enjoying lunch

Father O'Malley put down his ham and cheese sandwich and commented, This sandwich is so good! Kosher dietary restrictions made sense in ancient times, but when are you going to join the modern age and eat delicious, wholesome food like this?

Without missing a beat, Rabbi Schwartz replied, At your wedding.

My wife is like a delicious strawberry popsicle.

Cold on the inside and 90% artificial.

What do you call Shaq if he was a delicious breakfast dish?

Shaquille Oatmeal

Dining Out

A waiter approached our table and asked us if we enjoyed our meal.

It was absolutely delicious, I ate every last bit! said my wife.

And Sir? said the waiter. How did you find the pork belly?

Oh, about six years ago, we met at a sales convention.

Ryu wanted to confess to his lady-crush Chun Li....

So he baked some white fudge treacle tarts and put them down on a table. Ken walked up and was like, "ooh, these tarts smell delicious" and he started to pick one up, when Ryu grabbed the whole plate and did a jumping-spinning kick at Ken while yelling "THESE TARTS AREN'T FOR YOU KEN!"

John, who lost his leg because of the war.

John was sitting on a bench eating a poptart, with one of his arms on the inside of his shirt instead of through his sleeve. One of his friends came up and said, "Oh man, a pop tart?! That looks delicious! Where'd you get it!" John responded, "At the store down the street, but be careful, in this economy it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Edible panties are delicious -

I eat them straight out of the box.

Gimme a White Russian, Hold The Russian.

At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited to find a chocolate milk machine. But her aunt did not approve. Chocolate milk for dinner? she asked.

It's delicious! said my daughter.

Her aunt shrugged. Well, its 8 a.m. somewhere.

I was nice to my Indian waiter and he brought me a delicious meal...

Good korma.

If Lucky Charms are magically delicious...

it should be called Ethereal box.

Felt compelled to share this offensive joke: Women should be like the light in the refrigerator...

Slightly amazing every time you see them, able to brigthen a cold dark place, mysterious until you find the little button that turns them on, constantly showing delicious food and beers, producing no audible sound, always in the kitchen, and there when you need them but gone at the flick of your wrist.

Did you hear about the new vietnamese restaurant?

Pho King Delicious.

What do you call delicious Vietnamese food?

Vietnoms

√-1 8 Σ 3.14

And it was delicious

Went to a French-Spanish wedding reception.

The buffet was alright, but the wedding cat was delicious.

There is an abundance of tasty jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 74 funniest jokes and delicious puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any donuts witze you can hear about delicious.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes