Fun-Filled Delicious Jokes to Boost Your Mood
My grandma was known all over town for her delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died I would plant strawberries over her grave so that everyone could visit her and enjoy them. I fulfilled her wish.
She's dead and berried.
A man is stranded on a dessert island
and it was delicious.
A teacher tells her students to make a sentence using the words "cheese" and "liver"...
The White kid responds, "Last night my mother made a Cheese and Liver sandwich. It was delicious."
The Black kid responds, "Last night my Dad told my Mom to go get groceries. When she came back without the Government cheese, he punched her in the liver."
The Mexican kid responds, "Last night some vatos tried looking up my sisters skirt. So I tell them, HEY LIVER ALONE! CHEESE MY SISTER!"
Two cannibals are eating a m**... starting at opposite ends.
One says to the other "This guy's ear is delicious! Are you enjoying eating him as much as I am?"
The other cannibal says "I'm having a ball."
An old man is lying on his death bed...
... when he smells the delicious aroma of freshly baked apple pie. He calls over his grandson and whispers, "Boy, go ask your grandma for a slice of that pie."
The boy scampers off and returns a minute later, replying, "Grandma says no, it's for after the f**...."
In a blind taste test
...Stevie Wonder was delicious
A fine-looking gentleman sat down in...
...the main dining room of an expensive restaurant. He ordered a big dinner and spent an hour enjoying himself.
After he was given the check, he summoned the headwaiter. "Ah, my friend," he said, "that was a delicious meal! Perhaps you don't remember that I was a guest at this same table just about a year ago. And at that time I couldn't pay the check, so you, sir had me thrown out in full view of all the other diners!"
"I am so sorry, sir" said the head waiter. "But, you understand-"
"Oh it's quite all right," interrupted the gentleman, "but I'm afraid I'll have to trouble you again."
Battered Women
Not as delicious as it sounds
"The FISH joke"
A lazy guy went fishing but forgot the worms. So instead, he grabbed a piece of paper and wrote on it; "I am a delicious worm!", attached it the hook and threw it in the water .. After 3 hours of waiting, he finally felt a drag.. so he quickly pulled the hook out of the water, and found a different piece of paper that says: ".. And I am a delicious fish ;)"
HEADLINE: MAN EATING LIZARD FOUND IN FOREST
"It was delicious," says man.
Vegan ribs are actually delicious!
The hardest part is hunting down the vegan.
You can explore delicious pastries reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean delicious delightful dad jokes. There are also delicious puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong...
but who cares, he was delicious!
Diet - day 1:
I have removed all bad food from the houseβ¦it was delicious.
A recently married couple...
A recently married couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. When the food was served, the husband said, "The food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: "Honey, you always say a prayer before eating at home. Won't you do that here?"
Husband: "That's at home sweetheart. Here the chef knows how to cook."
What do you call a dinosaur that only eats the most delicious food?
A connoisaur
A lion goes into a restaurant
He sits down, and starts looking through the menu. After a while, the waiter comes over.
"What would you like to drink, sir?" Asked the waiter.
"A glass of the house wine please." The lion responds.
"Excellent choice sir! Might I recommend the Salmon for the starter?"
"Sounds delicious!"
"And what can I get you for your main?"
"Oh, just a comb."
What is Chipotle most known for?
- A. Steak Bowls
- B. Delicious Tacos
- C. Chips
- D. Burritos
- E. Coli
At Indian Restaurant
"Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now."
What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One's a slimy, s**...-s**... bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.
*-Hannibal Lecter*
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.
Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.
The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."
I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup.
After that I had a massive vowel movement.
Had Irish 7 coarse meal for lunch today
6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!
Couple in a Restaurant β Joke
Husband and wife were having dinner at a fancy restaurantβ¦
As the food was served, Husband said:
The Food looks delicious, let's eat.
Wife: Honey.. You say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: That's at home sweetheart⦠Here the chef knows how to cook.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called 'Road-Kill Recipes'
I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
I saved my cannibal neighbor's daughter from drowning today. Her father was so grateful he gave me a hand shake.
It had some chunks, but it was delicious.
Diet Day 1: Just removed all the fattening food from my house.
It was delicious.
β-1 2^3 β Ξ
And it was delicious.
If a chocolatier and a pastry chef have a child together, will they also make delicious food?
Not Nestle Sara Lee
Two days into my diet I removed all the junk food from my house....
.....and it was delicious
Truly delicious tofu recipe:
1) Chuck the tofu.
2) Fry a juicy steak.
A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.
He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and t**... into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.
He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."
A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.
Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
The German consulate is in NYC for a big UN meeting...
The clock hits 12:30 and the meeting breaks for lunch. Being that he's in New York, the consulate requests to go out to lunch at a local Deli. An intern is charge with taking him out. As they are sitting and eating the consulate turns to the intern and exclaims,
"I have to admit, these bagels are really delicious! We don't have bagels like this in Germany."
"Well," the intern replies, "whose fault is that?"
Grandma and the Bird
I said, "Grandma, how do you like the bird I sent?"
She said, "It was delicious."
I said, "You ate it?! That was a two thousand dollar talking bird!" She said, "Well, he should have said something."
(β-1) (2^3) (Ξ£Ο)
And it was delicious
A man and a woman are in a restaurant...
When their food arrives, the man exclaims Well this looks delicious! Let's eat
But don't we have to say prayer first? Says the woman
Honey, we do that at home. Here the chef knows how to cook
Marriage is like a bar of soap...
It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it
There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
For my birthday, my friend bought me a book called, "Road Kill Recipes". As luck would have it, the very next day, I came across some road kill, so I cooked it according to one of the recipes in the book and it was delicious...
I'm just not sure what I should do with the bike...
I had my first date in high school.
I'm happy home economics introduced me to such a delicious fruit.
A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest
... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my t**... and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"
β(β1) 8 β Ο
And it was delicious.
What's a baby cow called?
Delicious
What is the difference between a freshly made pizza and a hungry jungle tiger?
One tastes delicious to you and you taste delicious to one.
I work as a spy for the US government.
One of my more deadly assignments involved going after a mad scientist in Italy. I was having dinner with one of my contacts over some delicious cheesy rigatoni. Then, out of nowhere, I was hit by a shrink ray and tossed into my food with the sound of evil laughter. Fraught by the perils of steaming hot carbs around me, I knew that for now, escape would have to be my mission.
Mission in pasta bowl.
Two lions spoke at a f**......
First lion sighed and said: "I'm really sorry about the loss of your kids, bro..."
Second lion nodded and bowed his head: "Yes, may they rest in peace. Sometimes I blame myself, but they were so delicious!!"
I had this horrible nightmare last night!
It was just horrifying, I was on a boat in a lake, when suddenly my boat tipped over! As I fell into the lake I realized it was orange, orange crush infact! Tasted delicious, but after a minute I started sinking, I was going to drown in a lake of orange crush!
That's when I woke up and realized, it was just a fanta-sea
Y'all heard of that new disease called Delicious?
It's a perfect mix between Coronavirus and Lyme disease
Year 4000 will be a delicious year.
MMMM
A man, his wife and his friend just finished diner
"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"
His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."
The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"
I've been giving my cows w**... to make their meat taste better
The steaks were high, but were otherwise delicious
I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms
But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
My doctor told me to get rid of all the bad food in my pantry.
It was delicious
I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.
The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.
At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.
TIL of Private First Class, Francis Liptonβ an American soldier in the Revolutionary warβ who invented a delicious new beverage while fighting at Valley Forge.
It was the first known casual tea of
War.
A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...
He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"
The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."
What is both delicious and moist?
.
.
.
.
.
.
A lie!
One of the Secret Service agents was tempted by the delicious muffin on the president's office desk, as he slowly reached out to take a bite, the other agent stopped him and said:
"Its FOR-BIDEN!"
Ever since the government lockdown, my neighbor has had to run her business out of her backyard. She bakes delicious pastries.
Google Back Door Cream Pies if you're interested.
I used to love eating aged meat.
That was until the gravedigger caught me.
Now I like fresh meat.
He was delicious!
My daughters pet lamb died today.
The grieving process was delicious.
Panda's Day Out
A panda walks into high-end restaurant and sits down at a table. A waiter quickly asks for the order and brings it to him after thirty minutes.
After the delicious meal, the panda asks for the bill. As soon as the waiter brings it, the panda whips out a p**... and shoots him. The waiter dies on the spot and the panda runs away.
The police are called and owner explains the situation. But the police refuse to investigate. When the puzzled owner enquires why, the police just show a dictionary. It says,
"*Panda: A type of bear that eats shoots and leaves*"
An old man was sitting on a bench in the park and crying his heart out
A passing cop stopped and asked, what happened?
Old man: I have a beautiful young wife. Every evening she cooks the most delicious meals and serves it in candle light and then we have a romantic night.
Cop: So, why are you crying?
Old man: Because, I have forgotten where I live.
When I'm craving middle eastern food, there's this place I always go to. It's delicious, affordable, and best of all...
Israeli quick.
I just read that in an alternate ending to Beauty and the Beast the Beast turns ravenous and eats Cogsworth
He was delicious, but the whole process was time consuming.
They opened up a restaurant on the moon.
The food is delicious but there's no atmosphere
A dog gets left in a forest by its owners. A tiger spots it, and thinks to itself: "What is that? It looks delicious." The dog catches wind of it though, and in a bit of quick thinking, it stands in front of a pile of bones, and shouts: "Mmmm, tiger meat is the best! I gotta hunt for more!"
The tiger kills and eats the dog, because it doesn't know dog language.
I love my vegetarian-only diet.
Lambs, Cows, Deers, Rabbits. They're all vegetarians and they're delicious!!
New Diet..
DIET Day 1: Remove all the sweet food from the fridge.
I did that. It was delicious..
I just started a diet. Here's a recap of Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house
It was delicious
Man walked by old man sitting on bench openly weeping, so the man said, what's wrong? The old man responds..
I'm married to a beautiful 25-year old woman who quit her modeling career to spend time with me. Every single night she makes love to me like no other woman ever has in my life, she follows it up with dinner afterwards cooks me up a delicious gourmet meal then we fall asleep holding eachother in bed.
So the man, dumbfounded responded, so what's the problem? π
The old man responds, I forgot where I live.
Why are rocks from space more delicious than rocks from Earth?
Because they're meatier.
Noah's diary : Day 39.
Unicorn pie is delicious!
I'm tired of hearing people say British food tastes awful. In fact, British food is the third most delicious food in the world
The first being French food, and the second is food from all other countries.
Photos
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented "These are very good! You must have a good camera."
He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said "That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots."
I just found out vegan ribs are delicious.
It must be their vegetarian diet.
