Deli Sandwich Jokes

35 deli sandwich jokes and hilarious deli sandwich puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about deli sandwich that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Deli Sandwich Short Jokes

Short deli sandwich jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The deli sandwich humour may include short deli jokes also.

  1. If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then... ... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.
  2. What do you call it when you linger too often at a Tibetan sandwich shop? A daily dilli-dallie at the Dalai Deli.
    I'll show myself out now.
  3. I've been dating this lady who is gluten free... Problem is, we go to a deli, she asks, "do you want to split a sandwich." I say, "sure" and then I'm just left with the bread.
  4. Everyone mourns our fallen heroes... But I'm the only one who cried when I dropped my deli sandwich
  5. People in India must really enjoy sandwiches. I heard there were almost 250,000 people in a new deli.
  6. Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli. Commander in Cheese Meltdown.
    They put it on the kid's menu.
  7. If a woman ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument.... ....pull out some bread, deli meat and cheese. Her instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sandwich.
  8. I'm flying to India to try their famous sandwiches. Everyone keeps raving about their new deli...
  9. Noah's son walks into a kosher deli and orders a sandwich. "Sorry," said the owner. "We don't serve Ham."
  10. When pirates visit New York, where do they go for a good pastrami sandwich? Carrrrrrrrnegie Deli

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Deli Sandwich One Liners

Which deli sandwich one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with deli sandwich? I can suggest the ones about subway sandwich and chicken sandwich.

  1. TIFU by taking someone else's sandwich at the deli today Oops... wrong sub
  2. What did Adele name her sandwich shop? A deli
  3. TIFU by giving someone the wrong sandwich at a deli Whoops, wrong sub
  4. What did the DJ order from the deli? A club sandwich with extra beets.
  5. How do you know a deli is halal? They sell a *salaam*-i sandwich
  6. What do you call a person who makes surrealist sandwiches? Salvador Deli.
  7. Did you hear about the sandwich shop that just opened up in India? It's a new deli.
  8. I used to be addicted to deli sandwiches ...but I quit cold turkey

Deli Sandwich Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about deli sandwich you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sandwich jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make deli sandwich pranks.

James Bond orders a sandwich

James Bond goes to a deli and orders a club sandwich.
The employee says to him, "Mr. Bond, we have ham or turkey. How would you like it?"
Bond replies, "bacon, not bird."

I went down to the deli the other day.

I went down to the deli the other day and got myself a sub sandwich. I walked out of the store and towards the park, and I was just about to take my first bite, when out of nowhere, Dave Grohl ran up behind me and snatched it from my grasp. I knew I couldn't outrun him, so I just shook my fist and thought, "d**..., there goes my Hero."

So, there I was buying cheese in a deli.

Me: what would you recommend?
Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.
Me: sounds good .
Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.
Me: awesome, noted.
Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey Jack cheese but has delicious pepper chunks in it.
Me: weird flecks, but ok!

Guy goes into a deli

He looks over the menu:
Ham sandwich: $5
Roast beef sandwich: $7.50
h**...: $250
He looks at the hot blonde behind the counter and says, "who gives the h**...?"
"I do!" She says with a smile!
"Well, wash your hands and make me a ham sandwich"

A new Indian sandwich shop opened up in my neighborhood

I guess you could say it's our New Deli.

Men on my sandwhich

On a day like any other I decided to go to my favorite deli. I ordered the BLT like I always do and began to eat it, however I noticed something strange. Something seemed to be moving in my sandwich. I looked closer and it appeared to be a tiny man with some sort of wooden pole. He planted it into my sandwich and moved along.
I was totally boggled by this so for the next few days I came in and ordered a variety of sandwiches but the men only came when I ordered the BLT. One day I had had enough.
"Hey!" I shouted, "what are you doing on my sub all the time?"
"Sorry!" He shouted back, "we always repost on this sub"

TIFU by accidentally walking out of the deli with someone else's sandwich

Whoops, wrong sub

A horse enters a deli...

... and says "Give me a grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes, peppers, jalapeños, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, and relish."
Without a word, the deli owner, standing behind the counter, gets to work on the grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes, peppers, jalapeños, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, and relish.
A while later, she presents him his meal. "Here's your grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes, peppers, jalapeños, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, and relish."
The horse smiles, accepts the food, and asks her, "I bet you were surprised when you saw a horse enter the deli and order a grilled cheese sandwich with tomatoes, peppers, jalapeños, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, and relish."
"Not really," she said. "I like it that way myself."

Two Sandwiches in a Deli

One day two sandwiches are sitting in a deli. One sandwich - a veggie sandwich - asks the other "Hey man, if you could be any kind of sandwich, what would you be?"
The other sandwich - a turkey sandwich - isn't in the mood. He retorts "I'm tired man. I don't feel like having a deep conversation right now."
But the veggie sandwich persists. "I'm sorry to bug you. It's just that I'm doing this study for a class. I need to know your response in order to fully understand the psyche and whims of a turkey sandwich. I promise, just the one question, and that's it."
The turkey sandwich replies "Look man, I'm happy just being a turkey sandwich. I know I'm not the most exotic food item out there, but I'm content with my situation."
The veggie sandwich tries taking a more motivational approach. "Come on man, I'm not trying to imply that you're not awesome. Of course you are. But surely you have dreams. We all have dreams. If you could be ANY kind of sandwich in the world, what would you be?"
The turkey sandwich is still reluctant to enter into anything resembling a philosophical conversation with the veggie sandwich. It's always ended poorly in the past, but he knows how relentless the veggie sandwich can be. "Fine," he says, knowing that he has to make a decision. "If pressed, I would be a panini."