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Delay Jokes

36 delay jokes and hilarious delay puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about delay that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make the best of the wait with these hilarious delay jokes that will keep you laughing while you wait for your flight, train, or wedding plans to continue. From airline delays to rain delays, we've got jokes about them all! And if you're looking for a laugh, don't miss our favorites - the airline delay copilot joke and the one hour delay crave joke.

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Funniest Delay Short Jokes

Short delay jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The delay humour may include short pause jokes also.

  1. The year is 2077... Brexit negotiations continue.
    Nevada has counted 98% of the votes.
    Cyberpunk has been delayed again.
  2. I'm using Internet Explorer to post this, so it might be a bit delayed... But there's a plane heading towards the twin towers right now.
  3. So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport.... He goes up to the penguin and asks, "Why so angry, you cute little fella?"
    The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."
  4. The U.S. election results delay is pathetic In Egypt, we know who won before the elections.
  5. A group of apes had locked everyone inside of a Himalayan monastery Escape was delayed because of the missing monk key.
  6. The actors strike is delaying the release of Oppenheimer That’s okay, it was probably going to bomb anyway.
  7. The Tetris movie is finally coming out in 2023 after numerous delays. Every time they finished a line in the script, it disappeared.
  8. Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.
  9. Hey do you guys want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, but I'm still working on it. Expect delays
  10. I asked my proctologist:. What happened to all the patients who had their colonoscopys delayed due to covid..... He said, "oh we got caught up. Everyone got it in the end".

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Delay One Liners

Which delay one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with delay? I can suggest the ones about waiting and timing.

  1. Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list...
  2. I encountered some paranormal activity at the local airport. My plane wasn't delayed.
  3. Science/nre joke What particles in a reactor are the happiest?
    Delayed neutrons.
  4. What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel? Dismay.
  5. Which country likes to delay everything? Procrasti-nation.
  6. What do you call when a Russian cause a delay? Stalin for time.
  7. I texted my wife we'll have to delay our evening run. I was running a bit late
  8. What do you call a rapper that delays his concert? Postpone Malone.
  9. My mom asked me to lay the table for dinner... I did the opposite and delayed it.
  10. What's the fastest way to heaven? It depends on the flight delays.
  11. What's A delayed reaction?
  12. What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
    Filet delay.
  13. How can you delay milk from turning sour? Keep it in the cow
  14. Why don't men like toilet lid covers? It only delays knowing the lid might still be down.
  15. My belly is fat My brain has delay.
    You guessed it right.
    I'm from NA.

Flight Delay Jokes

Here is a list of funny flight delay jokes and even better flight delay puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why are flights with crows often delayed? Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

Airline Delay Jokes

Here is a list of funny airline delay jokes and even better airline delay puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So United Airlines just bought the naming rights to the NFL stadium in LA... Immediately a delay was announced, no word on the first beating and dragging through the aisles...
Delay joke, So United Airlines just bought the naming rights to the NFL stadium in LA...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about delay can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of delay puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comedy Delay Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about delay you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean timer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make delay prank.

A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...

...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"

Airline Safety

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.
Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"
"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

The Edge walks into a bar.

U2 guitarist The Edge walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll ......................................... have a pint of Guinness."
The bartender replies "What's with all the delay?"

Owing to fog a steamer stopped at the mouth of a river.

An old lady inquired of the captain the cause of the delay.
"Can't see up the river," replied the officer.
"But, captain, I can see the stars overhead," she argued.
"Yes," said the captain gruffly, "but until the boiler busts we ain't a-goin' that way."

Source: 1913 newspaper

A plane takes off with two hours delay. Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:

"why did we take off so late?"
To which the flight attendant replies:
"well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane."

Three Men were in a Soviet Prison.

One man asked another, "What are you in here for?"
The other man replied, "I was arrested for being late. They accused me of wanting to delay the victory of the Proletariat."
Another man chimed in, "I was arrested for being early. They accused me of wanting to be favored over my fellow workers."
They both asked the first man what he was in for.
He replied, "I was arrested for being on time. They accused me of having a western timepiece."

A plane is sitting at the terminal and is supposed to leave shortly

Departure seems to be taking ages, and the passengers are growing restless. Eventually a staff member says on the PA system:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay to your journey today. During preflight checks the pilot wasn't happy with the noise coming from the left engine, so we've had to delay departure until we can locate a new pilot."

So i was in the queue at the airport and the lady at check-in said "There is a four hour delay" I asked "Why's that?" "The pilot heard a funny noise from the engine..

And it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it" she said...

I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee.

I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly.
At the window, there was a delay.
Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated.
"I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting."

I have a theory as to why the Cybertruck is taking so long to get in production:

They are experiencing an Elon-gated Delay!

There is nothing wrong with s**... before marriage...

... as long as it doesn't delay the wedding.

Last Minute

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May

May wants to leave at the end of May.

The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots.

They must feel really deflated.

Delay joke, I texted my wife we'll have to delay our evening run.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these delay jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.