Delayed Flight Jokes
14 delayed flight jokes and hilarious delayed flight puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about delayed flight that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Delayed Flight Short Jokes
Short delayed flight jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The delayed flight humour may include short flight delay jokes also.
- So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport.... He goes up to the penguin and asks, "Why so angry, you cute little fella?"
The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed." - Why are flights with crows often delayed? Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.
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Delayed Flight One Liners
Which delayed flight one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with delayed flight? I can suggest the ones about missed flight and airlines flight.
- What's the fastest way to heaven? It depends on the flight delays.
Delayed Flight Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about delayed flight you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean late arrival jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make delayed flight pranks.
Airline Safety
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.
Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"
"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
We must follow our policy. . .
I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.
A plane takes off with two hours delay. Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:
"why did we take off so late?"
To which the flight attendant replies:
"well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane."
A man is on a taxi to the airport.
"Please hurry i need to get to there as soon as i can." he said to the driver.
"Easy, sir. Why are you so hurry?" reply the driver.
"Im gonna late for the flight, now drive faster please." the man said.
"What flight are you on then?" the driver keep asking.
"The flight 696 now please shut up and drive" the man reply in angry.
"Then worry not, sir. I was at the airport 30mins ago and heard that the flight 696 will be delayed until further notice" the driver said.
"Yes because im the pilot of that flight" the man reply.
Learn Chinese in five minutes joke
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni
See me A.S.A.P. - k**... Hia Nao
s**... Man - Dum g**...
Are you harboring a fugitive? - Hu Yu Hai Ding?
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?
Your price is too high!! - No Bai De Thing!!
Did you go to the beach? - Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi?
That was an unauthorized execution - Lin Ching
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? - Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?
I got this for free - Ai No Pei
Please, stay a while longer. - Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. - Wai Yu k**... Nao
They have arrived - Hia Dei k**...
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka
That’s not right - Sum Ting Wong
A plane is on a transatlantic flight when the pilot begins to speak.
"Folks, this is your captain speaking, our number engine one has developed some trouble. We'll make it, but they'll be an hour delay."
10 minutes later, the pilot makes another announcement: "Our number two engine just quit. We'll be fine, but they'll be 2 hours late."
5 minutes go by and the pilot speaks up again: "Our number three engine is gone, we'll have a 4 hour delay now."
One minute later, the pilot begins to speak "We just lost our number four engine..."
At this moment, a passenger yells out: "At this rate, we'll be stuck here the rest of our lives!"
Plane engine emergency
While on a flight the captain makes an announcement "Ladies and gentlemen we have had to turn off engine 1 and reduced speed. We will be delayed by 1 hour". A few minutes later the captain makes another announcement "Ladies and gentlemen we have had to turn off engine 2 and reduced speed, we will be delayed by another hour and have 2 engines operational". A few minutes later "Ladies and gentlemen we have had to turn off engine 3 and reduced speed, we will be delayed by another hour and have only 1 engine remaining". At this point a passenger shouts out "Oh come one, if we lose the last engine we will be up here all day!"
A plane is flying over the Atlantic
When suddenly the speaker comes on, it's the pilot, "A minor delay has occurred, we will be one hour late due to an engine faling, please do not panic this is a minor problem". The passengers are a litte worried but people carry on as normal. An hour later the speaker comes on again, "The flight will be delayed by two hours as our second engine has failed, do not worry this is a minor problem.". People are starting to get nervous now and talk among theirselves. Another hour later the speaker comes on yet again, " Ladies and gentlemen i'm afraid to announce we have lost our third engine and have only one remaining, this will delay us by five hours". The plane is dead silent with worry, when suddenly an Irish man at the back of the plane speaks up, "Well let's hope we don't lose another or we'll be up here all night!"
An airplane is flying over the Atlantic when suddenly...
One out of four engines explodes. The pilot says over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we lost one out of four engines. This is no cause for panic, as we still have three engines that work fine. However, instead of the two hour flight we planned, it will take us three hours. Thank you for your patience."
All seems fine until an hour later, when another loud e**... sounds. The pilot once again comes over the intercom and says, "Hey there, folks. No need to be alarmed; we lost another engine, but rest assured this airplane is still perfectly safe. Unfortunately this makes our delay an hour longer. Thank you four your cooperation."
Another hour goes by without incident, when there is another e**.... "This is your Pilot once again...we lost our third of four engines, but don't worry at all, we are still in good shape. I am sorry to inform you that we will once again be delayed and it will take us five hours to get to our destination. We apologize and thank you for flying with us."
One passenger turns to the next and says, "At this rate we'll be up here forever!"
Nervous about flying
I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it
didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering.
I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said.
Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by
turning off all the lights.
A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."