Delay Jokes

Following is our collection of hour puns and graciously one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Delay jokes for adults, dirty flight jokes and clean holdup dad gags for kids.

The Best Delay Puns

A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...

...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"

Airline Safety

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 747 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After a two hour delay, it finally took off.

Barry, a worried passenger asked the steward, "What was the problem?"

"Well, the pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine", explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

A plane takes off with two hours delay. Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:

"why did we take off so late?"

To which the flight attendant replies:

"well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane."

The Edge walks into a bar.

U2 guitarist The Edge walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll ......................................... have a pint of Guinness."

The bartender replies "What's with all the delay?"

So i was in the queue at the airport and the lady at check-in said "There is a four hour delay" I asked "Why's that?" "The pilot heard a funny noise from the engine..

And it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it" she said...

Theresa May has asked to delay Brexit until June

It makes sense, June comes after the end of May.

There is nothing wrong with sex before marriage...

... as long as it doesn't delay the wedding.

In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May

May wants to leave at the end of May.

I texted my wife we'll have to delay our evening run.

I was running a bit late

The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots.

They must feel really deflated.

What do you call when a Russian cause a delay?

Stalin for time.

Which country likes to delay everything?


NBC: And the winner of the Gold medal is...

NBC: Find out right after 4 hour delay and several commercial breaks.

Why did the waiter delay until after converting English menus to Spanish to announce they weren't the gender everyone thought?

Because they were happy to serve as trans later.


Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain?

The weather called for *Heil*

So United Airlines just bought the naming rights to the NFL stadium in LA...

Immediately a delay was announced, no word on the first beating and dragging through the aisles...

Thanos Finger Snap had a delay effect

Apparently Thanos' finger snap had a decay cause it just took Stan Lee away

Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game?

They needed to give their characters an eye-patch.


A delayed reaction?

There is an abundance of aboard jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 19 funniest jokes and delay puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any takeoff witze you can hear about delay.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes