Dejected Jokes
18 dejected jokes and hilarious dejected puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dejected that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dejected Short Jokes
Short dejected jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dejected humour may include short depressed jokes also.
- "Sorry, we don't serve mojitos here" says the bartender. The dejected mojito gets up and leaves the bar.
- What does Charlie Brown on Halloween and a U.S. Marine finding out where hes getting deployed in 2004 have in common? They can both be heard dejectedly saying "I got a rock."
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Unearthly Funniest Dejected Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about dejected you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean saddened jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dejected pranks.
A Calvinist dies and goes to Heaven
He sees two doors. One is labeled free will, and the other is predestination. He walks through the predestination door and an angel asks him why he was here. The Calvanist replies, "I saw this door and decided to walk through it." The angel replies, "You can't be here, you chose this."
Dejected, he goes into the other door. Its angel asks him why he was here.
He replies, "I had no choice"
A rope walks into a bar ...
A rope walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, we don't serve your kind here."
Dejected, the rope leaves. Outside he ties himself into a knot, frays his ends, and walks back into the bar. The bartender stops him and says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just sent out of here?"
To which the rope replies, "No. I'm a frayed knot."
A waitress spots a dejected looking man staring at the menu...
Concerned, she approaches and asks if she can help.
Man: I'd like to order my late wife's usual meal but I can't remember it...
Waitress: I'm so sorry! Could you describe it to me? I'm sure we can figure out what her favorite was.
Man: No, it's fine. I'll just text her, she should be out of the shower by now.
A man finds his best friend crying.
He asks "what's wrong?"
His friend responds, "I got in a fight with my mother in law. She said she won't speak to me for a month."
"Sounds like a good deal to me!"
Dejected, his friend friend replied, "that was a month ago."
Dreams.
3 guys are camping, and after a night of drinks & laughs around the fire, they climb into their tent and fall asleep side by side.
The next morning, the guy on the left wakes up smiling. "I had a dream I was getting j**... off all night by a supermodel!"
The guy on the right chimes in. "Me too, but it was my hot neighbour!"
The guy in the middle looks a bit dejected. "Lucky b**.... I just dreamed I was skiing."
Interruption of the speech of Comrade Stalin
Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes.
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.)
"First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Applause.)
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Long, loud applause.)
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) ...
A dejected voice in the back: "It was me" (Sobs.)
Stalin leans forward: "Bless you, comrade!"
Thanks to allrussias for glorious joke!
An unintentional dad joke from my 5 yr old son…
Yesterday, my son found a set of Hotel Transylvania stuffed toys at a children's consignment event. He squealed and was jumping up and down, he was so excited. But then all of a sudden he got a dejected look on his face. One is missing, he said. I asked what he meant. I don't see the invisible man.
Even after we discussed it, he kept insisting they could have at least included the glasses.
From one kind to another
A string walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"We don't serve STRINGS here," the bartender sneers. "Get out!"
Dejected, the string leaves and walks to the corner. Then - he gets an idea! He twists around, fluffs his hair, and walks back into the bar.
The bartender looks up, narrowing his eyes. "Say ... Aren't you that string that was just in here? I told you we don't serve STRINGS."
Boldly, the string replies, "No, sir. I'm a frayed knot."
A piece of string walks into a bar ...
Bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here!".
The string walks back out dejected. Then he gets an idea. He rubs his head on the bricks on the front of the bar outside. Satisfied with the results, he goes back into the same bar. "Hey!" the bartender yells. "We don't serve string in here! Arent you a piece of string?"
Pointing to the top of his head, the string responds "'fraid not".
Ba-dum-b**....
A pair of sunglasses and a set of jumper cables were lined up waiting to get into a nightclub.....
The bouncer was letting everybody in front of them in but when they get to the velvet rope the bouncer says: Sorry fellas, I can't let you in.
Feeling dejected the sunglasses said Why not?
The bouncer replies Well for a start, you're off your head and your mate here looks like he could start something.
One Night, as a couple lay down to bed,
the husband gently starts rubbing his wife on the arm. The wife turned over and said "Sorry honey, I have an OBGYN appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
Dejected and rejected, the hubby tries to sleep. After a while he turns over to his wife and says "Do you have a dentist's appointment too?"
The community theater recently posted auditions for Aladdin and a Christmas play
On audition day, local news reporter Thi Xix Hao spotted someone crying outside the audition room.
What's wrong? he asked.
The dejected man looked up. You look familiar he said.
I am local news reporter, Thi Xix Hao. You also look familiar to me
I am Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback the man said in between sobs.
Ah said Thi Xix Hao. So what troubles you?
Never made it as a wiseman. Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing. And, Thi Xix Hao, you remind me…
After dinner I started to pack the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, when it suddenly started talking!
In a really dejected, pitiful voice it told me, "Don't bother pal, I'm useless. I'll never get that crusty lasagne off that pan. I'm terrible. The glassware will all have water spots by the time I'm done. I'm the worst appliance in this house!!"
I said, "What's wrong with you?!"
"Nothing, I'm a self loathing dishwasher."
Co-Written by: IveyRoney
A man goes to his doctors office
The doctor says, "I've got bad news and worse news, which would you like first?"
The man is visibly dejected, "I guess the bad news."
"Okay, you only have 24 hours to live." Says the doctor
"Oh my god! What news could be worse than this!" The man wails.
"I forgot to call you yesterday..."
A golfer is playing golf by himself one Sunday morning. He comes to a par 3 that goes over a lake.
Dejectedly he takes an old scruffed up ball out of his bag and tees it up.
Suddenly he hears a loud , commanding voice from above say: TEE UP A NEW BALL.
He looks around surprised, then opens a brand new sleeve of Titleist and tees one up.
He hears the voice again: TAKE A PRACTICE SWING .
So he steps back and takes his best practice swing.
He hears the voice again: TEE UP AN OLD BALL.
Dave was in a bar looking
very dejected. His friend, Adam, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's my mother-in-law," Dave replied, while shaking his head sadly. "I have a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Adam said. "Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."
"Yeah, sure," Dave answered. "But not everybody gets theirs pregnant!"