The Best 70 Degrees Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Degrees jokes. There are some degrees diploma jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these degrees fahrenheit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Degrees Jokes and Puns
I told my friend I was going to freeze myself to -273 degrees celsius.
He seemed concerned, but I said I'll be OK.
What temperature do you bake two pies?
360 degrees
man in a hot air balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."
Why did the obtuse triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90 degrees.
Why did the Wright brothers turn their aircraft 90 degrees west when their dad walked in the cockpit?
because three Wrights make a left.
Saw this one in my maths class
Student: Sir I'm cold!
Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then.
Student: Why would I do that?
Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there.
Here's a great life hack!
When you're cold stand in a corner. It's 90 degrees!
A kid walks into the living room
And tells his dad, "Dad, I'm freezing!"
The dad says, not looking away from the TV, "Go stand in the corner."
The kid is surprised, what did he do wrong? "But why?"
The dad looks at his son and grins evilly. "The corner is 90 degrees!"
"DAD!"
Got any jokes which can be used every day? Like... When people say I'm cold, you can reply...
Stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.
What other jokes can be thrown into every day life like that?
When math majors graduate, do they get degrees or radians?
If you're ever cold, stand in a corner.
It's always ninety degrees
You can explore degrees kelvin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean degrees cold dad jokes. There are also degrees puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I have degrees in Politics, Economics and Psychology.
I don't have a job but at least I know why.
If you ever get cold, just go hang out in a corner...
They are usually 90 degrees.
LPT: If you ever get cold and don't have a sweater, stand in a corner for a few minutes; they're usually about 90 degrees.
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
joke
Two friends were walking by when they saw a poster with a joke on it. It said "Are you cold at the moment? Come to the corner, it's 90 degrees."
"Wow," said the first friend. "That's acute joke."
"Eh, not really." said the second friend. "Actually it's all right."
I froze myself to -273.1 degrees Celcius...
My friends were worried, but I'll be 0K
Calculated the angle in the triangle to be 45 degrees
I think that's about half right
"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar."
Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"
Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."
Do you know what would happen if you'd freeze someone to -273.15 degrees Clesius?
That person would be 0K
People are giving Hillary too much flak for fainting
I mean come on, it was 92 degrees out there, how can you expect an older women to withstand 102 degree heat. I'd like to see you give a speech in 112 degree heat and see if you can make it as far as her.
It's 80 degrees in San Francisco today.
Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks.
Why don't mathematicians have degrees?
They prefer radians.
I taught my maths class how to use a protractor,
with varying degrees of success.
The Sun doesn't need to go to college
Because it already has 28 million degrees.
Degrees
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
What's the hottest part in your house?
The corners, they're 90 degrees
I've decided to freeze myself down to -273.15 degrees Celsius.
My friends all think I'm crazy, but I'll be 0K.
My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot
Musta been like 5,000 degrees in there
How do you keep warm in cold room?
You go to the corner, cause it's always 90 degrees
New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...
...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade...
...I'll be staying out of the shade then.
A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...
**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.
**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!
**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Son says to father "Dad it's freezing in here!"
Father says "go stand in the corner son, it's 90 degrees."
A huge crab walks into a bar...
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
How qualified is a circle?
It has 360 degrees.
Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
If the average world temperature rises 2 degrees Celsius, mankind is doomed.
That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.
Why can't blondes double recipes?
Ovens don't go up to 700 degrees.
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I've got hundreds of degrees"
I really dislike people doing Michael Jackson impressions
Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.
90 degrees is pretty hot for most people,
But for mathematicians, it's just right.
Why are Canadians always over qualified for jobs in the US?
Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.
How do you measure the obnoxiousness of middle-aged white women?
In degrees Karenheit.
My dad said It was Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit and Anders Celsius to create the terms used for thermometer scales
I replied: Don't you think it's egocentric to name everything after yourself?
He said: well, to be fair they both worked hard for their degrees!
The recipe said, Set the oven to 180 degrees.
Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
The recipe said to put my cake in the oven at 180 degrees.
I did, and it fell out.
The wife of Korean immigrant was bed ridden with a high fever.
She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.
"911 emergency, how can we help you."
"Wife in bed. She so hot."
"Okay... good for you."
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.
He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Why didn't the Sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
So I was baking a premade pie and the instructions told me to put it in the oven at 180 degrees.
Now I'm left with an upside down pie in an oven.
The recipe said to put the pot in at 180 degrees
Now it's all over the bottom of the oven
Educated people are hot
Because they have more degrees
Instructions said to preheat oven at 180 degrees
Not sure i'll try this recipe again, turning the oven upside down was a real back breaker...
I just got myself a Motown fridge
It stays at a steady Three Degrees, Four Tops.
When asked the temperature I enjoy giving it in Kelvin.
I'm losing my friends by degrees.
I told my wife I'm going cool myself to -273.15 degrees C.
She has nothing to worry about, I'll be 0K
In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison...
Poison I, II, III, would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However poison IV would make you really itchy.
If you are cold, stand in a corner of a room...
It's mostly 90 degrees
Why didn't the sun go to college
It already had a million degrees
Do you know what to do when you're in a cold room?
Just go stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees
Today I learned boiling water was really smart.
It has like, 100 degrees.
How do you always keep yourself warm?
Go to the corner - it's always 90 degrees!
What should you do when you're cold?
Sit in the corner, it's 90 degrees!
What's the best place in a room to get warm?
The corner. They are ninety degrees.
If your cold, go stand in a cornerβ¦
Because corners are always 90 degrees.
Why doesn't the sun go to college?
Because it has a million degrees!
Two scientists were walking around in Russia during winter
Scientist one: It's really cold outside, how many degrees?
Scientist two: it's -40Β°
Scientist one: Celsius or Fahrenheit?
Scientist two: Yes.
Many people recognize that the Russian flag is an homage to the French flag.
But did you know their military flag is an homage to the old French military flag as well? The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. Now the Russians use the same one, just rotated 90 degrees.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the degrees celsius puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working degrees phd piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
