Following is our collection of kelvin puns and diploma one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Degrees jokes for adults, dirty cold jokes and clean fahrenheit dad gags for kids.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
My friends were worried, but I'll be 0K
Because it already has 28 million degrees.
When you're cold stand in a corner. It's 90 degrees!
Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
But for mathematicians, it's just right.
Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks.
Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"
Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."
...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
My friends all think I'm crazy, but I'll be 0K.
And tells his dad, "Dad, I'm freezing!"
The dad says, not looking away from the TV, "Go stand in the corner."
The kid is surprised, what did he do wrong? "But why?"
The dad looks at his son and grins evilly. "The corner is 90 degrees!"
"DAD!"
Because zero degrees in Canada is the same as 32 in the States.
They prefer radians.
I don't have a job but at least I know why.
with varying degrees of success.
He seemed concerned, but I said I'll be OK.
Two friends were walking by when they saw a poster with a joke on it. It said "Are you cold at the moment? Come to the corner, it's 90 degrees."
"Wow," said the first friend. "That's acute joke."
"Eh, not really." said the second friend. "Actually it's all right."
**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.
**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!
**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
It has 360 degrees.
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
...I'll be staying out of the shade then.
You go to the corner, cause it's always 90 degrees
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."
Because it was more than 90 degrees.
That person would be 0K
"You may have graduated, but I've got hundreds of degrees"
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
Stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.
What other jokes can be thrown into every day life like that?
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
Student: Sir I'm cold!
Teacher: Go and stand in the corner then.
Student: Why would I do that?
Teacher: Because it's 90 degrees over there.
It's always ninety degrees
In degrees Karenheit.
The corners, they're 90 degrees
I mean come on, it was 92 degrees out there, how can you expect an older women to withstand 102 degree heat. I'd like to see you give a speech in 112 degree heat and see if you can make it as far as her.
because three Wrights make a left.
I did, and it fell out.
Musta been like 5,000 degrees in there
She hadn't had consciousness for a while and she was a burning 40 degrees Celsius. Worried, the husband tries to call for an ambulance, using his broken English.
"911 emergency, how can we help you."
"Wife in bed. She so hot."
"Okay... good for you."
Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.
That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.
Father says "go stand in the corner son, it's 90 degrees."
I think that's about half right
I replied: Don't you think it's egocentric to name everything after yourself?
He said: well, to be fair they both worked hard for their degrees!
They are usually 90 degrees.
360 degrees
A semi-circle.
Ovens don't go up to 700 degrees.
You'll become obtuse
Dad: There's a job listing here for a crematorium operator.
Son: How does that work, do you need a degree for that?
Dad: I think you need about 2000 degrees.
A man has amazing side burns and decides that he wants to go to college for sideburn grooming. He dedicates his whole life to this purpose, getting his bachelor's, master's, and doctorate's degrees after many years. In other words, he has third degree burns.
It was 360 degrees.
The Bartender says: "Hey Tony! Four bachelor's degrees, but still no luck finding a job?"
Apparently it got three-hundred and sixty degrees
An Eskimo buys a fridge. His fellow Eskimo wonders: "What for?". The happy fridge owner answers: "To warm myself up. -50 degrees outside. -5 inside the fridge".
Stick it in an oven at 500 degrees until its bill withers.
It's already got thousands of degrees.
In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology.
When I can go to a corner and get 90 degrees!
You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.
Dad: Go to the corner it's 90 degrees.
Come sit in the corner, it's 90 degrees.
The corner is 90 degrees.
Temperatures Of Over 100 Degrees Celsius.
Sitting down they're only 90 degrees, standing up they're 180.
There is an abundance of celsius jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 66 funniest jokes and degrees puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any phd witze you can hear about degrees.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.