The Best 20 Degree Murder Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Degree Murder jokes. There are some degree murder jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these degree murder puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Degree Murder Jokes and Puns

If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada

is it a 34 degree murder in the US?

A man is charged with first-degree murder and is on the stand, being questioned by the prosecution.

Did you commit the crime?

No sir, I did not.

I remind you that you are under oath. Do you know the penalty for perjury?

Yes sir, and it's a darn sight less than the penalty for murder.

The perpetrator killed the victim by keeping him in a temperature chamber set to 1C

The sentence was first degree murder.

How did Will Smith get caught for committing 1st degree murder?

He left fresh prints all over the scene.

I got a speeding ticket last month and took it to court

Rudy Giuliani was my lawyer and plead me down to second degree murder

I'm sick of numbers defining who I am.

* My GPA
* My weight
* My 1st degree murder convictions
* My grades
* My SAT scores

These things are not who I am.

What do you call a serial killer who kills 2 people in one year, 4 the next, and 16 the year after?

A second degree murderer.

My uncle died of hypothermia. Robbers took him and locked him inside a freezer of which the temperature was just slightly below 4 degrees.

It was the worst case of 3rd degree murder I've ever heard of.

There are 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree murders, but why are there no 90th degree murders?

Because murder is not right

The police break into a blender's apartment.

The police point their guns at the blender and say "Freeze! You've been charged with first degree murder!".
The blender frantically responds " Wait officers, this is a big mix-up!

A Canadian was on trial for second-degree murder.

He was acquitted, but he apologized anyway.

You can explore degree murder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean degree murder dad jokes. There are also degree murder puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the difference between hot blooded manslaughter and cold blooded premeditated murder

A few degrees.

They call me the battery

Because I'm charged with 17 accounts of murder, 67 accounts of kidnapping and 326 accounts of aggravated and first degree arson.

Arron Hernandez found guilty of first-degree murder

He has been sentenced to life in prison without parole. I'm not quite sure how much longer he is going to remain a "tight end"

Apparently Kevin Bacon was killed last night. . .

And they're charging the shooter with 6th degree murder. . .

The Continuing Adventures of Lawyer Mom, Episode 1

Lawyer Mom: Your Honor, my client is accused of murder in the first degree. But let me ask you, and everyone else in this court room, this: (Mom voice) Have any of YOU ever murdered someone?

Everyone looks around at each other, confused.

Judge: Um, no?

Lawyer Mom: (Puts hands on hips, closes her eyes, and continues in Mom voice) Well then how can any of you tell my client that murder is bad if you have never even tried it? Hmmm?

What do you call a flash mob of crows?

Premeditated murder.

What do you call a sunburned murder of crows?
1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree.

Why was the monk charged with first degree murder?

Because he meditated beforehand

[OC] [8] heheh

I tried everything to shoot my wife with caseless ammunition.

Needless to say, I lost the case with first-degree murder.

Why was the binomial executed?

He committed 2nd degree murder.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the degree murder puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working degree murder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes