Following is our collection of undergrad puns and psychology one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Degree jokes for adults, dirty stanford jokes and clean phd dad gags for kids.
To pick up his master's degree.
I responded, That's not right.
With a scowl, she pulled up google and proved to me that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5 degree angle.
Precisely, I agreed. If the angle were right it would be 90°.
They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
But for mathematicians, it's just right.
Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks.
He said "Sodium Bromate."
David Cameron has said Scotland could become a third world country if they become independent.
I'm not sure if things will improve to that degree, but you never know
The University of Minnesoda
He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."
Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."
...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."
the feminist holding it
do they get a degree, or a radian?
Dogs are like Canada. They're incredibly friendly, but to some, to a naive degree.
Cats are like England. They're rude and act like they're better than everybody, but we find them so charming for some reason.
Parrots are like America. They blindly repeat anybody they believe is of higher intelligence, especially if the owner is Russian.
Goldfish are like Carpatho-Ukraine. They'd be lucky to last a year.
I don't have a job but at least I know why.
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
It was a third degree burn.
A Wikipediatrician
By leaving the toilet seat at a 45 degree angle for the next person to decide without bias.
The pizza can feed a family of four.
"do you want fries with that?"
She is being treated for third degree Berns.
If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.
I phoned my local radio station today.
When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."
"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.
"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling
confident?"
"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.
"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"
"7," I replied.
He walks up to the lesbian bartender and says "hey you wanna hear a blonde joke?". The bartender says "Let me tell you a few things since you're blind, I am a blonde bartender who keeps a shotgun under the table. The bouncer is a 6ft blonde with a 4th degree black belt in judo. The woman beside you is a blonde biker with the local gang. The owner of this bar is a blonde army veteran who did four tours in Iraq. Now do you really want to tell that joke here?". The blind man thinks for a second and says "Naaahh, not if i have to explain it four times."
He left fresh prints all over the scene.
Hamburger and fries, please.
A pizza can feed a family of four.
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van.
I'm a trans later
Speed and Velocity are brothers.
Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.
Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.
Speed lacks Direction.
He's never right
I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?
But the tooth hurts.
A grandma is shopping with her grandson.The grandson picks up a toy and the grandma shouts: "Degree, put the toy back"!
A woman who was shopping heard this and asked, is that his name?
The grandma replied "Yes I sent his mother to university and this is what she brought back
Rudy Giuliani was my lawyer and plead me down to second degree murder
Do you want fries with that?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.
I mean come on, it was 92 degrees out there, how can you expect an older women to withstand 102 degree heat. I'd like to see you give a speech in 112 degree heat and see if you can make it as far as her.
I've been found guilty of second-degree Mordor.
It's always right.
I'm glad they teach kids how worthless a liberal-arts degree is at such a young age.
Now he's a Master Baiter.
* My GPA
* My weight
* My 1st degree murder convictions
* My grades
* My SAT scores
These things are not who I am.
The fact Superman got a job with a newspaper at the end is the strangest thing to happen in that movie.
To get another degree.
-
My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.
Because its very complementary!
I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.
The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me!
Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree.
She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead.
Credit to u/Princess_Kookie
"Hey man, I haven't seen you since college! How are you?"
"I'm doing well, I got that philosophy degree."
"Congratulations."
"Thanks. Hey, do you want fries with that?
... But everything he makes is forged.
I skipped classes to some degree.
At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'
The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.
The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.
You'll become obtuse
Dad: There's a job listing here for a crematorium operator.
Son: How does that work, do you need a degree for that?
Dad: I think you need about 2000 degrees.
2. Get degree.
3. ???
4. Prophet.
A man has amazing side burns and decides that he wants to go to college for sideburn grooming. He dedicates his whole life to this purpose, getting his bachelor's, master's, and doctorate's degrees after many years. In other words, he has third degree burns.
One that I can really sue.
When you just start school you know nothing about anything. But when you complete a philosophy degree you know everything about nothing.
"That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"
Because you're worthless.
...but you already have a degree in philosophy.
It's rolled up when you get it, it represents a lot of effort, and its worthless the next day.
When I can go to a corner and get 90 degrees!
Forget everything you've learned in college, you wont need it here.
I didn't go to college.
Oh sorry you're not qualified for the job
To a certain degree.
Thesaurus.
There is an abundance of economics jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 66 funniest jokes and degree puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any radian witze you can hear about degree.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.