Degrasse Jokes

Following is our collection of howe puns and poster one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Degrasse jokes for adults, dirty drool jokes and clean bartender dad gags for kids.

The Best Degrasse Puns

Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common...

I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.

What Do you Call Neil Degrasse Tyson when he pours champagne on his bare chest?

**An astro-fizzy-tits**

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is finally coming to give a lecture in my University.

It's about time.

Why is Neil Degrasse Tyson such a famous physicist?...

On the day he was born he escaped a black hole...... and then he spent his life studying them.

What does Neil Degrasse Tyson say to pickup a lady?

"Hey, would you like to get astro physical with my dark matter?"


A photon checks into a hotel..

The bellhop says: "Can I get your bags?"

The photon says: "that's ok, I'm traveling light"



- I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness

A virus walks into a bar...

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, I don't serve viruses".
The virus turns him into the kind of bartender that does.



(Heard from Neil DeGrasse Tyson on his star talk show)

Did you know Neil deGrasse Tyson has a relative who lives in New Orleans?

His name is Marr deGrasse Tyson.

Why shouldn't you be concerned when your dog slobbers on your Neil Degrasse Tyson poster?

Because pet drool can't melt Neil memes.

Usain Bolt and I have a lot in common

I can run for less than 10 seconds and enjoy smoking Degrasse

Neil Degrasse is so in phase with planet earth, when he walks in a field...

The grass kneel


I was watching the Cosmos, when Neil Degrasse Tyson related our genes are similar to ones in trees

That means that all men have got wood in dem jeans.

From the man himself: What brand of gum does Neil DeGrasse Tyson chew?

Eclipse.

We e now here live with our interview with Mike DeGrasse Tyson.

"So, what do you, Mr. Tyson?"
"Athtrophythicth."

Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA.

Looks like they had to cut deGrasse.

If Neil DeGrasse has a kid with a woman from Thailand...

...he should name him Thaison.

I think my wife could be great friends with Neil Degrasse Tyson,

She is always talking about needing space.

What does Neil Degrasse Tyson call orgies...

...the big bang


courtesy of reds

I played chess against Richard Dawkins and Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

They're great at science, but no so much at chess. So after beating them in only a few moves I simply said

"Checkmate atheists."


What would happen if The Matrix was filmed in space.

I don't know, ask Neo Degrasse Tyson.

What is Neil deGrasse Tyson's favorite vegetable?

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawking, and Bill Nye walk into a bar.

Neil and Bill look at Stephen Hawking and yell, "My God, Steven, you're cured!"

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is now being investigated for sexual misconduct.

But is it really all that surprising that an astrophysicist pulled a Spacey?

There is an abundance of memes jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes and degrasse puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any dog witze you can hear about degrasse.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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